A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!” The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”
Can i get a star if you like it???
2007-04-23 01:12:16 · 13 answers · asked by Snake 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
* for you on that one...
CURTAIN RODS
She spent the first day packing her personal belongings into boxes, crates, and suitcases.
On the second day, she had the movers come to collect her things.
On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.
When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods.
She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.
When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere.
Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.
Nothing worked.
People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit.
Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.
A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
Word got out, and eventually, even the local Realtors refused to return their calls.
Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.
The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house.
She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.
Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10 of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.
She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.
I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?
A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.
2007-04-23 01:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by Chris R 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely funny.. u deserve a star!
2007-04-23 01:18:07 · answer #2 · answered by I need a vacation! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good one I'll be laughing the entire morning with that one think I'll even tell a friend.
2007-04-23 01:20:23 · answer #3 · answered by thick sauce 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 star for you... can i have 10 points? ;))x
2007-04-23 01:19:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, u get the star, my man. how dare that wh0re get insulted. all mad at the world cause she birthed a cross-eyed monkey.
2007-04-23 01:36:55 · answer #5 · answered by ღ♫´`*♥Wine♥*´`♫ ღ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your lucky you still live with your brother three years ago my dad took my brother away from me and my mother and brain-washed him and now i cant see him every day like you i used to think he was annoying to but now i really miss him my dad doesn't follow the court orders like hes supost to and bring him to see us every other weekend when hes off work my mom was devastated when my dad took us my dad took me and my brother to a hotel but i thought we wer just going to pick up our chines food but he lied to me and ii was so scared when we got to the hotel we caled my mommy and my "daddy" (reason for quotes*he never acted like a father all he did all day was sleep and at night he went to work as a public safty officer and we never swa him during the day and my friedns cuoldn't come over cus he was sleeping) told me to not tell my mom what hotel we wer at and i did what he told me to because i didnt know what he wuold do if i told her were we wer now three years later im still sad cant see him every day and now i realy beleve the saying "you never know what you have till its gone " be nice to you brother the saying make pece not war is not finished it shuold say make pece not war with family
2016-04-01 03:19:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha Ha! Funny! lol! 10!
2007-04-23 04:02:41 · answer #7 · answered by cats 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA thats funny
2007-04-23 02:27:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha!
2007-04-23 01:16:24 · answer #9 · answered by W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
awesome!! no prob on the star!! worth it.
2007-04-23 01:17:50 · answer #10 · answered by Arraya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋