6 year old would let let him make a hospital visit to his grandad who has cancer?

Question

Grandad looks well and is with it but has had surgery for prostate cancer
6 year old will have to have day off school to visit as hospital is 4 hours away

Answer 1

I think grandpa would enjoy the visit and your 6 year old will not find it anything other than fun. There is a terrible, but unintentional, tendency to isolate and stigmatise people who have cancer. I heard about it at a terminal care course I went on last year. This is probably the time when grandpa needs to know he is loved and will not be written off of forgotten. He will need and appreciate lots of social contact, touch in general and hugs in particular. 6 year olds have no preconceptions or side to them, and he is likely to be one of the most welcome visitors.

Answer 2

If grandad is looking well then I say yes, take the child. As long as there's nothing to upset anyone at all.

I was 16 the first time I had to visit my grandad in hospital, he had cancer, and it was possibly the most traumatic experience of my youth, but that was because he was not well at all.

Answer 3

If grandad looks ok and is up for the visit, I dont see what harm it would do. The 6 year old is probably missing him and would be upset not to see him. It might also make grandad feel better.
My dad has recently had a tumour removed from his bladder and he would have been devastated if my young twins hadnt called to see him. It really perked him up and took his mind off things.

Answer 4

When I was 5, my great aunt Mae had cancer and was in a hospice. I loved her so much. My mom and grandparents took me to visit her shortly before she died. She didn't look so great (very thin) but I had a nice time and I have that memory with me to this day. I somehow knew she wasn't getting better but it wasn't a morbid or scary experience for me. I knew what death was but it wasn't something that scarred me for life. I was just happy to see 'Aunt Mae'. We gave her some ginger ale and I got to hug her. That's the last time I saw her because she passed away shortly after. I'm so glad I got to go that day. At that age, I was oblivious to the 'dark' side of cancer and death. That stuff didn't bother me at all.

If the kids grandfather is fine and recovering from being 'sick', I don't think there's any reason why a 6 year old couldn't handle visiting him. Hospitals shouldn't be scary or secret, they are places where people go to try to get 'better'.

When I was 5, I said "What's a hospice?" and I remember my mom looking at my grandparents and getting nervous about how to explain it to me. My mom said it was a place where sick people go to feel comfortable. I 'knew' they weren't telling me something. All I said was, "Is Aunt Mae ever going to leave?" and they all just looked at me and said "No." I basically knew what that meant, I just shrugged it off and was OK with it. As long as my family seemed calm and happy about it, I was fine.

Answer 5

Absolutely.

You should make sure that you explain to the six year old what has happened to his grandfather. If you have not yet explained to him that his grandfather is in the hospital and why he is there you can pick up a few books to read to him about it. Be sure to use this opportunity to talk to the boy and put it in terms that he can understand. It is a good idea also to have him make a card or gift to give. You can do that together. Don't worry about him missing school. Visiting his grandfather is a far more important lesson in life.

Grandparents with Cancer
http://www.uihealthcare.com/topics/medicaldepartments/cancercenter/grandparentswithcancer/index.html

ACS: Childen dealing with cancer in the Family
http://www.cancer.org/docroot/CRI/content/CRI_2_6X_Psychosocial_Issues_of_Children_With_Cancer_In_The_Family_Dealing_With_Recurrence_or_Progressive_Illness.asp

CancerBackup: Talking to your child
http://www.cancerbackup.org.uk/Resourcessupport/Relationshipscommunication/Talkingtochildren/Talkingaboutyourcancer

The Childrens Treehouse Foundation
http://www.childrenstreehousefdn.org/

Answer 6

I don't see this as a problem at all. You should be prepared to answer the MANY questions that will undoubtedly be coming during and after the visit though. Death is every bit a part of life as birth. Everyone deserves to know everything about life and death. When a child is mature enough to grasp these concepts differs from child to child, so a parent needs to gauge for themselves exactly what the child will be capable of understanding.

Answer 7

Take him to see his grandad, my dad was in hospital last year with bladder cancer, I took my 2 children into see him and it cheered him up to no ends and calmed them down knowing that he was OK.

Answer 8

If they are close, take him. My grandmother died when my son, now 17, was 8. It's was 5 hours away and he was there the whole time I was there. I think in the end, it was very beneficial for my grandmother and for my son--who had concrete answers for what was going on instead of being left to imagine---kids imagine the worst.
I vote that you let him go if he wants to.

Answer 9

If you are able to make the time to travel that distance then yes. It would be nice for the grandad to see his grandson as well.

Answer 10

Yes my grandfather had cancer when I was a similar age - i was kept away and remember feeling scared and confused about what was going on. when he became ill again a few years later we all visited regularly including my sister who was then 5-6 and I think having his family around him was good for our grandfathers spirits.