My husband's sister wants to see him alone and get to spend time with him 'to build their relationship.' She is a manipulative person who likes causing divisions in the family. I am wondering why she wants to do this and is it normal for say a sister to want to spend time alone with her brother when they both are married to their prospective partners and it would probably be more fitting if they all met together (i.e. husband and wives together - me and my husband both seeing her or her and her husband)?
2007-04-22 22:02:07 · 19 answers · asked by Jenny_USA 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
The only person who can make a decision on this is your husband.
When he became your partner, he made a commitment to you (in a sense) leaving his family behind, in effect you become more important. That's not to say he shouldn't have a relationship with his sister and any attempts by you to stop or affect that will put you in a bad light.
Yes, she probably is trying to manipulate him or use him for her own benefit but your going to start problems for your relationship if you try to stand between them.
You need to position yourself to his side giving him advice rather than a barrier to keep them apart.
Ultimately it has got to be him to say "no, i'm not going to do this" or to lay down the rules where they meet up and who will be there.
You've really got to consider your own position here, and make sure you don't end up being seen as the trouble maker rather than her.
2007-04-22 22:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It always complicates things when it's hard to get on with a relative-in-law. I think that she has to get the message that if she's going to be rude to you then you're not going to go out of your way to seek her company. I think that you sound like you're handling it in a mature way - you're not being rude to her but you're not going to talk to her if she can't be nice. You might need to step it up a little though. You say that you felt very uncomfortable - if you express how you feel to her without resorting to being rude or personal, then that's all you can do. I'd be really tempted to be direct and say, why do you say such rude things to me, and why do you keep repeating them over and over when you know that they must hurt me? etc You can only be responsible for your own behaviour. It sounds like she's pretty gutless as she mostly attacks you over the 'phone or when you are alone. I reckon if you are polite but very firm and honest she will back off. Obviously, there may come a time when you may have to decide that the situation is too toxic - ask your husband not to leave you in a situation when you have to be alone with her. I think it's great that you're breastfeeding your baby - don't let anyone tell you any different.
2016-05-17 04:06:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a very happily married woman and I spend a lot of time talking alone with my brothers. They are family and you can tell family things that you can't tell your spouses and friends. I wouldn't think of telling my husband that he couldn't go spend time with his sister. That's there time. She was there years before I ever thought of being. What right do I have as a person to come between that relationship. If you don't have brothers and sisters to spend time with, then you don't have much. Hell, my husband can go alone and talk to my sister if he wants to. After all it is his sister now too. Trust me, I have been with him for 17yrs. now and if we had that kind of jealousy, then there is no way we could have made it this far. Trust in your husband. He loves you.
2007-04-22 22:11:25 · answer #3 · answered by lily_florance 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think some of you people have seen Deliverance one to many times or something. If you are in a trusting marriage there is nothing wrong with spending time with a brother or sister. You grew up with them. That is not a bond that is easily broken. I mean just going to lunch or something, just hanging out. Not a big deal. Now if it is way more than he wants to spend with you then I might worry. But other than that it's not a big deal.
2007-04-23 06:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by d h 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is nothing unusual that the sister would want to spend some time just with her brother like the time when they were not married.
maybe you are too protective and this could put more pressure to your relationship rather than allowing your husband to meet his sister alone.
2007-04-22 22:07:45 · answer #5 · answered by black_dahlia 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are a bit insecure, I can't see any problem with a brother and sister wanting to meet up.
If your marriage is strong and you have a good relationship just let them get on with it.
I have two sisters and my wife does not have any problems when I see them alone and in the same respect I don't have a problem when my wife visits her brother.
It is all probably just innocent, don't let your mind spoil things.
I hope it works well for you all.
2007-04-22 22:08:04 · answer #6 · answered by Tooly 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I'm 4 days late how far along would I be?
2016-11-21 23:52:49 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband that only brother that she has? If it is, I can understand why they are so close. But as both are already matured adults, I don't understand why she is still dependent on him so much. I mean, as all of us grow up, we some how learn to deal with problems ourselves or at least we have friends to share a problem or getting an advise. I think you got to talk to her more often to tryv to "get to know her more" so as to divert her attention, maybe to you instead. Maybe you can share girl things or anything that you can share. Good luck.
2007-04-22 22:08:29 · answer #8 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How ridiculous! They both have their own families now and if they want to spend time together, it should be as one big happy family. Strange.
2007-04-23 01:40:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like to spend time with just me and my sister as I cant stand her husband
hope this helps
2007-04-22 22:59:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋