i dont mind lending her some cash (she used to helped me too when i was in need years ago.. ) coz i want to believe that she really need the money .. but her asking of money from me has been going on almost every month .. and the amount shes borrowing is in thousands.. i can spare few hundred dollars...
the thing is that
- she comes from a good family with a reputable family business..
- she has a high paying job pretty sure shes earning more than me
- i mean u can't go totally broke every month
- she still goes on shopping spree!!!
i too need money to for my other commitments
i dont want to break her heart if i were to be brutally honest with her . ..
what am i supposed to do???
2007-04-22 20:10:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
and she has yet to pay all the cash back
the debts that i owed before has been settled in full.
i dont want to be doubting my friend or have negative thoughts... i'm confused and disheartened at the same time ..
helpp
2007-04-22 20:16:52 · update #1
Well as the saying goes, and it still applies..."never loan anyone money and expect to get it back." If you can't afford to give it away then just stop.
2007-04-29 12:30:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let her know up front that from now on you are not lending her anymore money because you are not her bank or her ATM machine. Also you can go about doing this every time she borrows money make her sign a note saying that she will pay the money back in full and if she don't you can take her to court and try saying no to her once and a while too because it sounds like you just can't say no. Also let her know that you also have bills and things you would like to do and don't mind if once and a while y'all take turns in doing things y'all would like to do together. And let her know that unless it is something real important that she needs to borrow the money for you're not lending her anymore of your money.
2007-04-30 16:57:33 · answer #2 · answered by jamaicaladydread 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well..the first thing is that you say you "can't"...not "won't" loan her any more money until she pays back what she has borrowed.
You should have seen that she paid the first loan before you loaned her any more....that is just expecting her to be responsible and show good faith.
But she is using you...you are a soft touch! Otherwise she would have already paid you back.
You are breaking my heart by being so easily manipulated. You sound like a really nice guy....but wake up and smell the coffee! Just say you CAN'T and you need the money back that she has already borrowed...WHEN can you expect to get it.?
If you have to, have your own reason why you need the money back. And I hate to say it, but she probably won't be worried whether you need the money or not.
Even if you just need to save the money... get paid back!
Then when she has paid you back, nicely say you are sorry but you need the money for another project you have in mind....that's all you have to say. But get your money back first.
2007-05-01 01:16:41 · answer #3 · answered by samantha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well , always remember it's not bec. ahe is your friend andu can't say no " that is wrong girl" the more u are with the more u talk bec. friends are honest and ready , willing tolisten .
Be open and tell her what she has to do. the more you give the more it will break your friendship . I have a friend she tells me all this and you have to be free to tell anything . so that there will be a respect from both of u.
if she misunderstood u , ignore it. You are kind so u can get and have a lot of freinds !
2007-04-23 04:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by amwid-u:) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may hurt but you need to tell her that you got your own stuff to pay. she is borrowing thousands every month. she mite be shoppin with the money that she can't even afford. yes you should care about your friends, but you do have bills to pay and other things to do. she is not your child. she come from a good family, let her ask them.you gotta do whats good for you.she don't understand that then she is too damn selfish fo you to keep her around.
2007-04-30 13:41:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before she comes to you go to her and ask her for some money back. Tell her you really need it and she owes it to you. If she doesn't give it write a letter to her father or go and see him and explain the situation to him in a friendly way. In the future make her sign a promisory note.
2007-04-29 20:19:48 · answer #6 · answered by thesongfairy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the future, lend no more. tell her your money is all tied up in a cd or whatever. I'm at a loss as to what else i could help out with. bettyk
2007-04-30 14:28:00 · answer #7 · answered by elisayn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her, I'm sorry, Bank (insert name here) is closed. Tell her, "I can't do this anymore. It's obvious that you're being irresponsible with your money...by buying" (insert frivolous items here). Tell her, "you know I'd help you out and do anything for you if you honestly, truly needed it, but by your spending habits, it's obvious that you don't and I feel really used because of it".
Good Luck
2007-04-23 03:20:26 · answer #8 · answered by Rae 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you have a policy cant give more until paid up, and that you love her!
you may not be doing her any favors anyway, sometimes it is your best friends that tell you what you don't want to hear..
2007-05-01 02:31:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice saying NO in the mirror, Stop giving so freely, learn to give her the exact sob story she gives you....create bills that don't exist. Say NO...most people take kindness for weakness...
2007-04-30 13:28:34 · answer #10 · answered by that hot one 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋