well the no sex started about 15 years ago after she had our son, she said that "that was all the kids she was having and she didn't need sex in her life anymore, so she feels that i don't need it anymore. also after we quit having sex it seems like we have grown apart and i don't know how to get close again. It seems like we don't love each other like we did in the past, maybe that is how it is suspose to be?
2007-04-22 19:43:49 · 13 answers · asked by hickory 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Fifteen years ago is a long time...I think that if you wanna make this work you may have to see a marriage counselor..she has to understand that being married, it isn't just her choice to have sex or not...but if you feel that this is the reason that you guys are growing apart you should tell her and take the first step to try and save your relationship..take a vacation have a family member take care of the kids and rekindle that spark you once had with her...try being more romantic..set up some dinners at fancy restaurants...try giving her roses..or breakfast in bed..a woman likes it when she knows she's appreciated...but definitely if it has been this long you guys need a vacation..it doesn't have to be a long time..and another thing don't plan on going somewhere like Las Vegas it just might make things worse ..try going somewhere more quiet and secluded..hope everything works out..it sounds like you may still love her enough to try so go for it =)
2007-04-22 20:00:17 · answer #1 · answered by nanci :) 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, you could try asking her if she thinks sex is important or not. If she says it's not important, then you should tell her it shouldn't matter if you seek it elsewhere. If she then changes her mind and says it is important, then you should tell her that you'll get it from her or somewhere else. She can't have it both ways. I would then ask her to see a therapist or a minister, and if she won't go, go alone. It sounds like you're headed for a divorce. This is not how it is supposed to be, and it's amazing you've held out this long. Your wife seems to think sex is for procreation only: if it was, it wouldn't feel so good. You could also see what Dr. Laura Schlesinger says about it in her books on being a good spouse (maybe she'd have some tips on romancing your wife), but frankly I don't see why you'd stay in a sexless marriage. Maybe you could stay until your son is 18, but that's it.
2007-04-22 19:51:22 · answer #2 · answered by Katherine W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should talk to her about this because she is either insecure from having a child or she needs to be reminded on how great sex is!! If you dont have sex in a relationship there is no connection.. you two are better off as friends. Maybe there is something deep and personal about her that she doesnt want to tell you . In my opinion i think that you let this matter go on for too long but its not too late!! If you still love her and want Her then you have to attempt to fix things !! rent a hotel or motel and try to remember what makes her in the mood or happy . plan out a whole night with her and maybe she will give in. Its never too late!!! Good luck!!
2007-04-22 19:53:39 · answer #3 · answered by nothing 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all let me say that you both deserve more and this is not the way its supposed to be, although I do think more people go through this than we realize. If you still love her and want to make this work you need to go for marriage counselling with a qualified counsellor, one who specializes in that , maybe ask around for any recomendations from people you are close to. Some employers provide counselling free for full time employees. Think of yourself as taking on the job of "Hero" in this relationship. Like Dr Phil often says. You can save both your happiness. Start by treating her like a "woman" Woo her again! Compliment her looks, her talents, her kindness....it will make her want to show you more of these things. Ask her out on romantic dates. Do special kind and romantic things for no reason. Eventually she will want to return these things. Have a frank talk with her when you bring up counselling and find out if she has the desire to make your marriage work,.
2007-04-22 20:18:08 · answer #4 · answered by scarlet 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you just now getting worried?? You should have been getting counseling 15 years ago. Try a bit of romance, if that doesn't work, try counseling.
By the way, having sex is not love. Making love is much more than just having sex.
2007-04-22 20:17:34 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your married for starters, so don't seek it elsewhere. Second you didn't marry her for sex, if you did and that's all you expected then that was wrong. However, an intimate relationship between man and wife it is a vital part of your marriage. You have to talk to her or get her into counseling to find out why she is afraid of it. If you love her you will always be faithful to her, no matter what. In sickness and in health, till death do you part. Remember!
2007-04-23 06:37:45 · answer #6 · answered by d h 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like he fire gone out.. if you can't get it started again trade her in for a new one. sorry to say this if you still love her ,but people change as we get older, some don't care for sex while others are starving for it. I'm a lady who says if you want to keep your man at home, keep the fire burning so he don't stray.
2007-04-22 19:57:22 · answer #7 · answered by jazzy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is not how it is suppose to be. Your homones and sex drive can answer that. You need to talk to her. it is what a health relationship needs.
2007-04-22 20:09:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to her about it!!!
you are married!!!!!!!!
ask her why she doesnt want sex anymore and if she keeps saying about the kids thing tell her you miss sex tho...
you have to talk to eachother!
thats the point of marriage
2007-04-22 19:52:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
seek professional help with her she might have depression or something for real go get so damn help dont do the stupid guy thing and cheat or divorce get some damn help
2007-04-22 19:51:51 · answer #10 · answered by big 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋