what will you do if no matter how hard you ask your wife...she still not interested/ don't want to have sex

Question

I have a situation here whereby I am lacking sex for 3 years after marriage... I got 2 kids... and was having sex just to make babies... and I can barely count with my fingers the number of time.. I tried to communicate to her and say i needed it and she was like not helping at all... someone please help me.. as I don;t want to look for hooker to solve this problem

Answer 1

Sounds like she may have been abused at one time in the past and does not enjoy sex

....for Gods sake, do yourself before you get a hooker!!! Gross!!!

In addition, try adding some romance and excitement back into it and maybe a little vibrating egg from the adult toy store will help arouse her....worked wonders for me!

Answer 2

Wow, that is a long time. She doesn't want sex at all?

Hang on - in three years, she's had two pregnancies, and given birth to children. That does not leave her many weeks to recover, does it? Maybe she is still sore? What's happened to you in that time? I bet if you had lost a leg, you would be a bit shy about your body right now. Is she OK? Maybe she's afraid of going through more grief. She must be pretty tired and she's had huge changes happen to her. It's like if you went to war and came back to normal life, and people didn't get that you felt weird about it. Sometimes that happens when a woman gives birth.

Is she hearing that you still like her and want to be close to her? You say what you need, but if it's your need, and not hers, a hooker would do, and I guess a new mother doesn't care to feel like a hooker? The kids need, all day, you need, when does she get to feel good about her life? She must miss sex too, and being close, but maybe she doesn't think you like her any more, or how she is now. When did you last see her laugh and have fun? You could show her new things, take her away from the usual routine, change your married habits, together, if you thought about it.

I think she could at least help you - but maybe she is so damn tired that she can't feel that anything matters much. When is the last time you guys had a holiday? She must be just hanging in there if she doesn't want sex.

That's a long, long time for both of you. I wonder did she want sex when she was pregnant? Did you not go for that then? Did she hear that you were rejecting her back then? Maybe - some men do that, and that's a difficult thing to bounce back from and get over.

If she really doesn't want sex with you, find out what hookers cost, buy a good brand of condoms, and get on with it. Don't tell her, it will make her sad, but be safe. I don't see anything wrong with that. What is really wrong is that you are not talking to each other and that is so lonely that she might as well be on her own.

Answer 3

Kids do much better having their mother and father being Happily married.

Your wife may need meds for either physical or emotional reasons. Counseling can help. If she won't go, you might meet with a counselor to help you decide and cope.

Stay away from hookers! My advice is to talk it over with your wife, maybe you can convince some sex is okay.

If that doesn't work, I would stay in the marriage to raise your 2 kids and "take matters into your own hands" -- don't make any more babies with this woman!!

Good luck!!

Answer 4

A study was done years ago that concluded that if you placed a penny in a jar every time you have sex up until the day you get married, and then remove a penny every time you have sex after you get married, you will never remove all the pennies.
Most men get sexually retarded after marriage. Men get to comfortable and take their wives for granted. They want to just jump on then off. Most women fake orgasms and if your wife is actually having orgasms then she will want to have sex more frequently. If not, then they lose interest. The man always wants to blame the woman and say that they have to go elsewhere to get sex cause their wives won't give it up, but if men wouldn't be so lazy, they would get sex alot more often.
Men become aroused as soon as a woman touches their penis, so men believe that they can bypass the kissing and touching and go straight for the genital area and a woman will be as aroused as he is. She will be so offended that she will probably not even talk to you. The more you do that, the more distance you are putting on your sex life.
With women it is a process. When you arrive home, say nice things to her, compliment her about anything (sincerely). Give her a big hug and kiss and tell her that you have been thinking about her all day and how lucky that you believe that you are. After your meal, HELP clean up and be involved with the children and helping get them to bed (the best relationships always have the kids in bed for the night by 8:00 so that they can have 2 hours adult time, not sex, but adult time. Also when you have children, get a babysitter for a saturday night at least once a month and let your wife decide what she wants to do and do it without complaining. Call her once a day just to tell her that you were thinking about her and just to say "I love you." Men tend to forget the nicetites that attracted her to you in the first place. If you are to lazy to love your wife, then you can kiss physical love goodbye. Pay attention and always treat her like what she says is important. But, compliment, compliment, compliment. And talk to her about what pleases her sexually, and comply. A woman will not have sex with a man who does not kiss her first.

Answer 5

Gee this is tough...but I have asked this questions:
1)All woman will tell you do not "eat" outside, be more romantic take her on a holiday,buy flowers, show her all the medical item they have in the market if she has pain, bring her to a spa and etc......
2)As man...the advice is do what you need to do but ensure you find a woman has similiar problem, there will be no string attach and no responsibilty...this is diffcult to find...than no pain no gain.

You have both perspective, so try 1 before you venture to 2 and yes do not go to a hooker....

Answer 6

Try to help her abit around the house so that she wont feel tired out over the housework and kids. Too tired will turn her off sex. After the kids are asleep, you can try to give her some massage to help her to relax. Do some sweet things for her, then you guys can go on to do your 'stuffs' in bed.

Answer 7

You need to learn how to romance your wife. Women need to feel that they are special to you. Being romantic is foreplay for a women. If you are just trying to jump into the sack without romance, good luck. The nicer you treat her, the more willing she will be. Remember this old saying, "When mama is happy, everyone will be happy, but when mama is unhappy, everyone will be miserable." In the old days, they referred to their wives as mama, because they were the mother of their children. Anyway the saying it still true.

Answer 8

tough question...#1...why doesn't she enjoy sex ? something in her childhood? is it painful? is she afraid? women are all different, some can't get enough, and some don't like it at all, but the average woman enjoys sex. will she talk to you about this ? she is going to have to talk to you about this.
women are turned on in different ways than men,gentleness and loving touches, cuddling, take it very slow, for some women it takes longer to warm up.
get a baby sitter for the kids, pack a picnic lunch and go to the park and have a picnic , then say 'honey...can we please talk about this?' be gentle..go slow...good luck!

Answer 9

First of all sex is nothing physical it is mental thing and in your case you dont attract your partner on sexual terms and hence you are facing this problem try it out with your partner discuss it with her sincerely try to know what her fantasies are and probably your problem should be solved.

Answer 10

Honestly it sounds like you guys need a marriage counselor. Sorry.