Maybe rate it 1-10, 10 being the best.
Pierce my heart,
drive it deep,
put me in an endless sleep.
I cry out tears,
tears of pain,
why does love seem just a game?
Alone, I hold onto you tight,
dreaming of our coming night,
when life just dies.
Love is pain.
Drive the knife and end the game.
2007-04-22 19:08:30 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
Sounds like romantic love poem! Perhaps you could spice it with a few images like:
Pierce my love-sick heart,
with your erotic blade,
drive it deep. . . . and. . .,
entice my sweet eternal repose.
As it is, one would think the lines - endless sleep - suggest death.
what about . . . 8!!
**
2007-04-22 22:03:29 · answer #1 · answered by ari-pup 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
10
2007-04-23 02:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I like that, lots of emotion. Rated 8.
2007-04-23 02:13:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
very cliche; same old love/pain poem, blaaaaah, I give it a 6.
2007-04-23 02:17:07 · answer #4 · answered by FaceFullofFashion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
7 its good a little choppy but i can relate
2007-04-23 02:11:46 · answer #5 · answered by janie p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not bad, not bad...
2007-04-23 04:36:54 · answer #6 · answered by holy_see 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋