will he go after CUSTODY?

Question

do u think he will. we dated 1 1/2 years. he got me preg and dumped me hasnt been there @ all, he asked me to get an abortion. anwyas im due in august i plan on going after child support ( i dont want to but have no choice financially) what are the chances a guy liek this will go after custody? I also invited him to the ultra sounds called 100X he did not go or call me back or even ansewr the phoen.

ps i know i wasnt married to him but im this section becase a lot of the divorcees have had custody issues

Answer 1

I would say not. However, prior to attempting to get any child support from the guy you should do a couple of things. Most importantly, wait until your child is born. Here is what you need to do:

First, it does sound strange for a mother to apply for custody of her own child but you better do it. Don't tell anyone that you are filling for sole custody of your child so it can't leak out. I MEAN DON'T TELL ANYONE!. You can either file alone at the district juvenile and domestic court or hire an attorney. Either way tell the attorney and/or judge that you can't reach the father since he as abandoned you or that you are unsure of who the father is (It doesn't matter at this point). When asked why you want to do this simply tell them for legal purposes; for example - you don't want him to suddenly show up one day at the school your child attends and decide to run of with the child and legal proof is required to bare a parent from taking a child. That will motivate them to award you full custody.

Second, once you are awarded full custody apply for child support. Of course, the guy will fight it but don't worry. Every state loves to award child support since it makes the courts look good. Try to get a court ordered blood test so that there is no dispute on the fatherhood. Then just let the court system take it from here. You'll get your support I promise.

Third, if he should decide that a legal tactic will be to fight for custody then it will already be too late since you will already have full custody. He may threaten with it but the likelihood of success would be greatly diminished since the records would reflect his lack of caring.

Good luck.

Answer 2

He could go after custody if he is the father of the child. The real question is would a judge give him custody. If you go for child support he will get visitation. Of course every judge says that these things are seperate but they are decided in the same hearing. Normally a judge grants joint custody and has the child live with a primary parent. Due to schooling when the child turns 5 the judge will want the child in one home during the school year if you both do not live near the place where the child attends school.

The are only a few factors that a judge would consider giving primary custody to one parent over the other. The parent who gets custody has to be in the best interest of the child. Will that parent foster the relationship between the paren the child is not living with.

The reasons why a judge would take custody away. The parent is not in the best interest of the child by, withholding visitation, living on the streets, abuses drugs, booze, uses the child as a weapon to get things from the other parent, moves away without notifying the court or not getting permission from the other parent. In other words conduct that is not good for the child. As long as you do not do those thing you are ok

The best thing you can do if you go to court. Is suggest a visitation schedule that is generous, allows the other parent to attend doctors appointments and school activities.

And when you address a court about the child do not say "my" child use the word "our" because really the child is between you and him and that partnership will be around until the child is 18.. the judge wants to hear that

Answer 3

He wants nothing to do with the child. Dont worry about it too much if you dont bother him. But if you go after him for child support then chances are hes not going to pay $100 a month and never see the child and may decide to go for custody. I suggest right now digging up every piece of dirt you have on him and tape him or get it in writting that he wanted you to have an abortion and whatever else you can get so you have evidence in court. Better to be safe then sorry. Chances are he wanted you to get an abortion because he doesnt want to pay child support so i doubt you will get anything from him. Good luck though :( and congrats on the baby.

Answer 4

Hm, I don't think he will get custody if he tries especially not being your husband. Just tell the courts what you've told us. He asked you to get an abortion, that definately has to hold some weight. He doesn't contact you. He didn't have anything to do w/ the pregnancy. The only way he would want custody is to get what is possesively his. If he's not a good guy, don't let him. Even so, the courts don't take away infants from their mothers unless their druggies etc

Answer 5

Just went through this. I live in MI so not sure of where you live but usually if unmarried the mother has full legal and physical custody. Unless you have major issues in life he has no claims to the child. He has to pay support and gets the parenting time designated. I would make sure you go to the courts first though when the babe is born and breastfeed so the time is very limited with him.

I am so sorry to hear of your situation--I went through this and am better for it--a baby is a blessing. email me if you want.

Answer 6

If he's that disinterested in your pregnancy, the chances of him going after custody are pretty slim to none. Keep track of your attempts to involve him in the pregnancy, get a note from your doctor stating that he has never joined you during an appointment. For the rest of your pregnancy, stop stressing yourself out over him - trust me, I've been through this! When you go to court after the baby comes, you ask for primary placement (which means the baby lives with YOU) and sole custody (which means YOU have all the rights to decision-making for your child). Sometimes, they'll give you crap about it and want to grant joint custody - it's ONLY decison-making - and if he's not even involved now and wanted you to terminate your pregnancy, he shouldn't oppose to your having sole custody.
If you're on any type of assistance, it would be next to impossible, but maybe you could get him to voluntarily terminate his rights (if he really wants nothing to do with the baby)? You wouldn't get child support, but then you wouldn't have to worry about him coming back to be a pain in your butt.
Chances are - he won't show up when the baby's born, he MIGHT show up for a paternity test, and then he HAS to show up for any further court appearances for custody/child support. If he's that detached, he'll just go along with whatever you want and sign whatever's put in front of him.
It sux and it hurts and I feel for you, but if you ever want to chat, I'm at [e-mail] . Good luck to you and your baby.

Answer 7

I'd say there is a zero chance that he'll go for custody and an even LESS chance that he would get it. Unless you involve yourself in illegal or unfit situations with your child...do not give it another thought. Definitely have the child support order in process so that you can immediately start receiving it. Uh...just a side note. Keep the records that you attempted to contact him in case that comes up...but don't call him again. Put your time and energy into happy thoughts...let this loser go.

Answer 8

it doesn't sound like he wants to raise a child. and i don't think a court would grant him custody. family court judges have seen it all and i'm sure they can detect when a dead beat dad wants custody just to keep from paying support.
of course you should pursue child support. for the child's sake! he/she has two parents, whether or not they live together as husband and wife - and the baby deserves to be supported.
take care of you and baby :)

Answer 9

Unlikely, but for your (and your child's) protection, keep careful records of everything you have done to try to involve him and everything he has done to avoid it.

For example, if you told you to get an abortion in an email - save it, make notes of when you call him and what messages you left, if you asked him to be involved. Basically keep a diary of your side of the story so that if a family court judge ever has to decide, you have a clear picture of what happened, instead of just relying on your memory & your word against his.

Best of luck with everything.

Answer 10

when you go for child support, you are opening up for custody rights.

You do have the right to:

1) Ask for full custody with visitation rights on his behalf.

2) Based on his income, ask for reasonable amount. If he does not pay child support, either his rights are forfited by signing a waiver document or you can go after his privilages if he does not comply to that document (can void his driver's license. My mom did that with my two older siblings as he can afford drugs, that means he can afford child support).

3) Have him sign the document if he wishes to have nothing to do with the child (as I see it cleary he doesn't) and you get on government assistance (like welfare and Wic) til you can get on your feet alone (which you can do. My mom did it with three kids, so can you with 1).