Okay my dad and i dont exactly get along....?

Question

okay well i dont get along with my dad and i go there evry other weekend (my parents are divorced) i try to spend time out of his condo so that i don't have to hear him yell at me. He gets mad over some of the stupidest things and every once and a while threatens to tell me to get out and about 2 times he actually has. Today we had a fight about an essay i had to write because i didn't understand it and he kept telling me i was stupid and i didn't know anything. but like ikd what to do about it and i've told my mom but she doesn't ever say anything about it. and i don't know what to do...

yes i am 14, and I have already told two adults my mom knows about it and so does my aunt nobody can really do anything about it.

yes i am 14, and I have already told two adults my mom knows about it and so does my aunt nobody can really do anything about it.

Everyone tells me to tell him how i feel about it. you'd think after the times hes made me cry and stuff he would get the point or when i tell him i want to spend time with him but I don't think he gets it. also i must tell you he is a computer addict which is obviously a bigger part of his life then i amhe plays that stupid game World Of Warcraft (WOW) he usually sits and does that when im over. and i mean ive told people and i don't really want to go to court. out of my 14 years of life ive had eough to do with the police and stuff. (NO im NOT a bad kid, i was involved with police when i was being abused by a guy) so yeah and my school counselor knows me pretty well... i guess im kinda nervous to tell ehr and plus if i stop going to my dads on the weekends i will have nowhere to go.

Answer 1

This is probably the reason your mom and dad are divorced in the first place. It sounds like he has major anger issues. I would tell your mom that you don't want to go over there anymore, but you would have to go to court if his visitations are court ordered.

Answer 2

You sound smart, I will guess you are 14-15, When you go to your dad's next time tell him. I am here to visit with you and spend time with you and all the time we spend together makes me not want to come back, because you are yelling at me a criticizing me all the time. Tell him that you want to come over, but not to be yelled at. Let him know that you are doing your best in school and staying out of trouble and if there were big problems he would be involved the day they happen.
Obviously your mom divorced him for this reason and doesn't want to deal with him even though he is doing the same to you as he had probably done to her for years. Your mom is being childish and should stand up for you no matter what. Just because you mom is done with your dad doesn't mean that you are. Tell him something that sounds like it's from the heart. Like.... When I come over on weekends I want to make the best out of our short time together, because through the week I only have time for school and I know what to do in school and I don't want you waste what could be a good weekend on things that are being done through the week or could be done through the following week.
That will really get him off your back........
Get some balls and tell him what you feel about your visits. Not like calling him an a**hole or anything. If you approach him like an adult and show him adult or "grown up" behavior it might make him see that you are older and have a lot of your life under control with or without him.
Good luck........

Answer 3

Not a very good situation for you, I can understand. I did not have the best step-dad either growing up.. He was the only father type figure I was exposed to. Your mom is ignoring the resposibilities of being a parent and your dad is actually what I would call giving you emotional abuse which can be just as bad as the physical stuff. See if there is a big brother or big sister program that offers mentoring. They can help shape you into the healthy adult you need to be by spending some time with them. Ask your teacher about this program in school or google it. "Big Brother, Big Sister" I hope this can help you.. take care.

Answer 4

Speak to your school counselor or a teacher you may trust. Tell a sports coach, if you have one. Or tell one of your close friends' parents. But for sure, TALK to SOMEBODY about this. Preferably, an adult. They may be able to help you talk to your mom, or help you find some professional help. Look up legal services in your area and see if you can speak to an attorney about not having to visit your dad. It is true, kids don't seem to have many rights in this world, but if you keep seeking help from adults you trust, somebody will get you some help. Believe me, you do not deserve this!

I wish I could talk to your parents! Kids just should NOT have to be treated in such an unkind way!!!!

I have raised 4 kids. The youngest is almost 21. I don't know if I have all the answers for you bit, if you want, you can email me.([e-mail]). God Bless You.

Answer 5

You are not stupid!!!!
This is one of the worst things that could ever be said to anyone! It hurts in the worst way possible. I am not defending your dad, mine is the same way, but I have found that when most people say that your stupid, it's because they don't know how or can't figure it out themselves. He can't explain to you how to do it, get frustrated with himself and lashes out at you! It's not right but it might help a little to know why he might be yelling all the time.

In most states, by the time you reach 13 you can legally decide you no longer wish to be with one parent or the other. By telling a counselor at school, you will open the door for a judge to tell your dad that you want to spend time with him but not until he decides to have to anger management classes. Remember though, you dad my decide he doesn't want or think he needs anger management classes. He may decide that he won't take them. You need to remember that this is NOT about you! He has issues! He needs to deal with them! He may yell at you, call you names, tell you that you caused him more problems. THIS IS NOT TRUE!!! You did not do this. HE DID!

You cannot continue in this environment! It is not healthy for you! Go to the counselor. If he/she won't help, call a help line or call the police department and aske them for help!

Your safety is most important!

Answer 6

So sorry that your Dad is being a jerk. He should never ever ever call his child stupid. He has issues with himself and with anger and all of that, he is taking it out on you. very typical of a parent who lacks the insight to realize the hurt and damage he can cause. Shame on him. and shame on your mother for not stepping up to the plate to say something to him. You poor thing!!! Honey Tell your DADDY that it makes you feel bad and sad inside when he calls you stupid. If he continues to ridicule you and threaten to throw you out, Do not go there again. Talk to School counselor or another cool adult you trust. I don't like this at all. Pisses my off to no end that parents treat their kids this way.. We are sucha dysfunctional nation.

Answer 7

Your dad is Alec Baldwin?! Seriously, your dad has issues. This is why your parents are divorced. You need to talk to a a counselor at school. The school by law has to report . Then, you can get your own lawyer and you can have monitored visitations w/dad. Tell your mom that's what you'll do unless she grows a pair and helps you herself.

Answer 8

i are conscious of it bothers you, i've got been there, yet stay out of it. this could be purely a fling, you extremely do no longer understand, and additionally you do no longer decide to be the reason in the back of your fathers marriage busting up, no count the way you sense approximately him. discover somebody you may communicate in self assurance to, without them repeating what you communicate approximately, and confer with them, merely to get those products off your chest. i did no longer have anybody to talk to, once I went by this, and then i replaced into purely approximately 8, once I found out, at any age it is tough to handle. No lady needs to nicely known her father is like alot of different adult males and cheat, they decide to continuously have faith the main suitable of their father. i in my view do comprehend what you're dealing with.

Answer 9

if you dont like going over to his house tell your mum you dont want to they cant make you do anything you dont want to do..
and after a while your dad should get the point and say sorry and if he dosent you should tell him how you feel cos no one in the world deserve to be treated like that... best of luck....

Answer 10

go to court and tell them you do not want to see your dad any more. your dad is verbally abusing you and you do not have to be in that environment.