What would you do if your husbands family treated you like a dog and had no respect for you or your marriage?

Question

We have been trying to save money for a 2 car because ours went back.Anyways they are very well off and we are outcasted and they refuse to help.I know they could if they really wanted to.We just bought our first house all on our own without there help.We don't ask for anything and what we really need they refuse to help with.If it were my husband brother or sister they would have helped mounths ago.I feel so much resentment toward them because I know the bottom line is they just dont like me

It went back because it was a2004 with motor issues and they even said its not worth paying for anymore

what i mean by no respect is she constantly calls me ugly names and says I"m not good enough to be in her family because my family is not so well off.

Its not just about the money or whatever it is the fact that I not asking then to outright buy one we just need help with a down payment that we have offered to pay back

Answer 1

First, your in-laws don't have to help you. Just because they are well-off doesn't mean they're obligated to help you. When you marry, you do so under the assumption that you and your husband can support yourselves and resolve any problems that arise. When you say your car "went back," it sounds like your car got repossessed. As a married couple, your responsibility is to pay your bills and prevent things like that from happening.

It's possible that your in-laws don't like you. If that's the case, then their attitude toward you isn't news. You probably felt their vibe before you and your husband married. If you were able to buy a house without their help, you can certainly get a car without them. I don't mean to sound insensitive, but you sound a little whiny. This seems to be more about them not liking you and you not getting the money / assistance you feel you're entitled to. Believe me, they feel your resentment- which isn't helping you any.

Put your focus on doing what you can to get a car on your own. If you have to save money, then save money. Stop resenting your in laws, it hurts no one but you. Take care of your business; be independent and self sufficient.

Answer 2

Wow. I thought I was reading my own story right there. I sure do know exactly how you feel. Eleven years later for me and still nothing has changed. When my husband's sister needed the help, she always got it. But when it came to us, forget it. We are the blacksheep because they don't like me. And you know what? I don't care anymore. I got tired of caring about them useless people years ago. So, what I would do if I were you, is understand that things will most likely never change and stop pouring your energy into their foolishness. You have come this far without their help, and you can do it again. You don't need them. Good luck.

Answer 3

You are married and have set up your own new family. Neither your parents nor your husbands parents are obligated to offer any money or support to the two of you or any other family member. Get over it. Show them you can make your own way as you should. I guarantee they will change their attitude toward you both if they see you are self sufficient. You seem to be more interested in their financial support as opposed to their emotional support. I wouldn't give you the time of day if I felt you only wanted money.

Answer 4

My husbands family is the same way with the two of us. However...it's not because they don't like us(me). I know his parents love me...they just like my husband to do things for himself. He's a man and his dad looked after his family and so on. I respect them for it...it's made us a stronger couple in the long run. We never ask them for anything anymore and we can be proud in the fact that anything we do have is because we did it on our own. Maybe they know your husband is strong and will figure it out. Try talking to your husband and see what he says. One more thing...if they don't like you who cares? You didn't marry them-you married their son. As long as your civil then there's no problem.

Answer 5

Have you tried to find out the reason why they don't like you? If the reasons are beyond repairs and not 'cos of you entirely, there is nothing you can do. I do know some people disown their daughter/son when she/he wants to marry sby they do not like. There is no pt being resentful and hurt yourself and your husband. Try to look at the good side. Be more happy. We only live once.

Answer 6

forget them. if they think they are better than you, there wrong, you could try talking to them, but what's the use? you'd get it in the open(discussion) jus' write them off. you know that your a good person, you deserve better than that n e way. keep saving your money, cuz you know you can only rely on yourselves. or yourself for stuff. just know that you can do it, the world is a harsh place, but always remember that you have each other. :) good luck, hope i was of some help.

Answer 7

And where is your husband during all this, and what is he doing to defend you, himself, and his marriage ? If he isn't speaking up, then he is just as much at fault for their behavior as they are. He should be making it perfectly clear that you are now his family, and that if they can't respect both of you, that means you too, then he should want nothing to do with the family members who are disrespectful.

Answer 8

Sweetie do what I did, my in laws never really like me period, I thought they will change when I had my first baby,but I was wrong again so I washed my hands off them. I told them that they are not in anyway to send something for my kids anything because they're not related to them........just don't bother to contact them nor visit them. Your not a trash nor not good enough to their son. One day they will get what they deserve for being mean towards you,.......it's their lost not yours..

Answer 9

OK KNOW THIS MY HUSBAND S MOM HAS HELPED EVER ONE OF HIS SISTERS AND BROTHER THE ONE TIME HE ASKED FOR A LIL ASST SHE SAID SHE COULDNT I TOLD MY HUSBAND THEN DONT ASK AGAIN GOD WILL FIND A WAY AND THEN YOU WANT HAVE TO FILL LIKE YOUR THE BLK SHEEP I KNOW ITS BC OF ME SHE THINKS I COME FROM A WELL TO DO FLY AND SHOULD ASK MY FOLKS THEY WOULD HELP BUT MY HUSBAND DOESNT WANT TO ASK SO WE WILL WAIT THAT WHAT U NEED TO DO WAIT YOULL BE PROUD AND FILL LIKE U DID IT ON YOUR OWN SORRY BUT I JUST AVOID THEM AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE AND WHEN WE ARE AROUND I ACT AS IF I DONT KNOW HE ASKED

Answer 10

Been there, done that. It is amazing how things can change when you are pregnant with their first grandchild, they changed their tune real quick. Just know that it happens to the best of us!