How do I ignore a college classmate that sends me inappropriate emails and tries to make my life hell in class

Question

Scenario: grad school
Me: Quiet, respectful, and polite
I am the only new student this semester. This classmate acts rude by sighing loudly when I speak, interupts me and she even sent me a nasty email saying how much annoyed she is when I speak. I never respond to her emails.

Her behavior is inappropriate and rude. How can I avoid her and her friends when she slandered me in class and said negative things about me that were not true? I am to myself and always helpful to people so I can't understand why she behaves this way to me. I have tried to be nice and say hello to her everytime I see her but she ignores me. Anyways she really irritates me everytime I see her and I try to stay away but she acts like a high-schooler and easedrop on my conversations. My professor witnessed this behavior but did nothing.

Answer 1

Make an appointment with the chairman of your department and ask him/her what your options are. You can also go to the Dean of Students with this. In the meantime, don't respond to her, don't greet her or address her, and document every incident of her harassment as much as possible.

Answer 2

Do you take Psychology? I ask because if you do you can apply some of what your learning to this womans behavior.

Why is she singling you out? Some people are just plain mean, if this is this girls problem then you need to quickly report her if her nastiness becomes threatening.

It may be something more deep seated. Maybe you remind her of someone. Of maybe she is just insecure and she has somehow associated you as her competition. this would seem likely from the way your describing how she acts when you speak in class.

Regardless it is petty and juvenile, I feel the way your responding to this child is excellent. I would pretend she does not exist as long as she is not hurting or threatening you.

If she seems to sigh each time your speaking in class maybe you could turn the tables. In the middle of her sigh ask her if she missed "nap" time. It doesn't matter how you deliver it. People will laugh and she will be embarrassed. Hopefully thats the end of it.

Do not let this idiot into your head. High school is long over so good riddance to that type of behavior. You are above it and the proof is your reaching out for help in dealing with it in a new way.

Good Luck

Answer 3

I'd say send an email or meet in person with your professor and the dean of the program, and try to resolve the issue in some form or fashion.

Mention the fact that you're in Graduate School, and this type of immature behavior clearly doesn't belong in that type of environment or even in the entire institution.

Be sure to keep copies of these complaints (not to mention the emails the girl has sent you) in your mailbox so that if anything happens in the future, you can have paperwork to back up the fact that this girl has been harassing you, and that you DID make a complaint about it.

If it really makes you angry, just talk to someone about it, whether it be a counselor or a friend, to make sure you don't stress out about it or keep it all bottled in.

College should be a pleasant and mature experience, not an elementary ordeal in which you're not happy.

Answer 4

Doesn't it stink that this still happens in grad school?
You'd people would have matured by now! Or at least that those who are in grad school are above all this.

Regarding email, see you can block it.
Regarding class, I guess just try to ignore it.

I've had a similar experience recently and I was told that despite the slander, people would see me for who I am (genuine helpful person) and not believe the lies.
So I pass this on to you.
Keep on being you...if people cannot see you for you and believer her lies, they must just not be too bright.

Just a suggestion--maybe quit saying hi to her...it doesn't seem to be working, and why waste your breath.

Good luck.

Answer 5

he's probably rather uncomfortable being interior the placement he's in. at first, he taken care of you undesirable, then had the nerve to contain your daughter in his relationship with the different woman. He ought to understand that he isn't any longer that good of a dad if he has a now and lower back relationship including your daughter. he's embarrased to be considered by employing you. And he ought to be. for this reason he's heading off you. you're too good for him. improve you head up severe and be happy with your self for the good activity you do elevating your daughter, and walk up and seek advice from him. basically say hi once you spot him at school. See what occurs.

Answer 6

Don't ignore now... Maybe she likes you and wants to be like you or your friend...
Whenever she irritates you or does bad to you, respond with good. Spare time for her and don't get angry... find out her family and personal background, See if any of your interests are the same... she may even be needing professional help...

Answer 7

I'm surprised that people in grad school are acting like high schoolers or even undergrads.

You could file a complaint regarding slander and harassment. Also if you know someone that has access to university computers, you could try to change her grades. Just kidding.

Answer 8

god, grad students can be real jerks sometimes...

i had a kid who did that to me several times during class -- whenever he spoke, i always nodded politely and if i said anything it was to approbate his comments and add something to them -- when I spoke, he would sigh, laugh out loud, shake his head, etc.

he did it several times in several different courses and after the second time i started just pausing in what i was saying and gave him the attention he was asking for by saying "excuse me, but please be respectful"

he stopped doing that...

as for the emails and rumour-spreading, that's a little above and beyond normal. I would approach her calmly and say "I don't appreciate your emails, trash-talking, or general attitude, and if you don't have anything positive to contribute to my experience here, please don't do anything at all."

if she keeps it up, you might be able to speak to a program director or dean... if you do this, bring her emails to him/her so it doesn't just sound like a spat

though that's kinda serious so just try to be assertive and firm in telling here that she's not contributing anything positive and you want her to keep a respectful tone or none at all

good luck, tricky situation

Answer 9

Sounds like your "un"friend has some jealousy issues. Try to forget her. Remember, a famous coach once said something to the effect of (be less worried about your reputation, and more concerned about your reputation. It is that which defines you" Certainly not a direct quote, but I thin you get the idea.

Answer 10

Ignore her completely .. if you respond, this would snowball her behavior. She knows it and you know it that you are better and she resents that. By not giving into her idiotic and crass behavior, you are not lowering your standards and this drives her up the wall. If you were to respond, this would only escalate her childish behavior. Why is she an imbecile like this? Not yours to know or solve ..