As tradition would have it, your partner should come first, then your family, then your friends. Should spouse, family, friends all have their separate but equal places in your heart, or should there be a hierachy? What are your thoughts?
2007-04-22 14:22:47 · 32 answers · asked by Lois 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally, I think each has a separate but equal place in my heart. I don't think there can be a hierarchy. I don't love my friends the same way I love my family and I would love my husband different than either. So it's not really fair to rank them- apples and oranges as they say.
2007-04-22 14:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your partner should be the most important person in your life and your family should accept that. The task of any parent is to raise their children to be independant of them and that means being second in their children's life after the child's partner. So if there is a hierachy, then friends do come after partners and family.
2007-04-22 14:32:13 · answer #2 · answered by Lock 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do unto to others as you would they do unto you.
How do you feel about being the object of who comes first when it comes to your spouse.
Personally if I have taken the plunge, I know where I stand and am comfortable with that no matter what it may seem like at a particular time. Team work is the key and love and commitment. I guess you need to know yourself and have an intact self esteem.
Lord knows, I got tired of having to lift a man up all the time because of how he felt about himself so I had to finally let him go!
Depending on the circumstance that hierarchy will fluctuate and dependent on the loved ones the understanding will always be consistent when it does.
Biblicaly the man and woman leaves the family and cleave to the other.
2007-04-22 14:45:23 · answer #3 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spouse #1
2007-04-22 14:34:49 · answer #4 · answered by S.O.S. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Family should come first.....partner will not come first. If it comes first it is an act of selfishness to fullfill own desire. If family comes first, then an act of generosity and warm feels the air. The partner will be drawn into this warmth atmosphere.
As for equal places in your heart it is very individual. It really depends on how much time and effort you have spent together in life... This comes automatically without even the thought of having to choose which comes first...
take care..
2007-04-22 14:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by trymejames 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have learned that in healthy relationship there really shouldnt be a hierachy.
If you and your guy are on the same page then there are no questions asked. If there are uncomfortable questions or feelings about how you spend your time then your partner will bring them to the table so you two can address them toether.
when you have to do it the other way, it puts stress on the relationships with everyone and mainly yourself . what fun is that. but we all do it. we give into to what others want cheatting ourselves of joy life can bring when we meet someone more compatible than the next guy.
Old tradition says, its the mans way or the highway...i say the old way hits the highway.
2007-04-22 14:30:45 · answer #6 · answered by beachgirl90 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you marry you become your own primary new family. Children are going to most likely be brought into this new mix and all of this makes you protective and concerned about your own. Your parents and your husbands parents become secondary. Not unimportant but secondary to the new family you are developing. Your friends fit in only as they fit into your new nuclear family. As an adult, you have to adjust to your new situation and deal with the others as you can. In a healthy situation, all this just falls into place. It only becomes confused and unhealthy if you have parents that try to run your new life or friends that don't understand it.
2007-04-22 14:40:58 · answer #7 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If everyone was equal then there who be no first, second, third, etc. Of course there should be hierachy.
1. God
2. Spouse
3. Children
4. Church
5. Family
6. Others
2007-04-22 14:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by wisdom_women 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your spouse always should come first, even before your parents, the way you love them is different but you don't live with them either, they are not sleeping with you or paying your bills once you leave the nest and get married your number 1 priority should be your spouse and no questions asked.
2007-04-22 14:28:19 · answer #9 · answered by Mary O 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God should always come first because without Him you would not have a spouse, family, or friends. Then your children because you will have them forever even if for some reason your spouse isn't there (ie. divorce) and then your spouse, parents, other family then friends.
2007-04-22 14:52:27 · answer #10 · answered by Jellybean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋