what makes a woman sleep with her best friends husband?

Question

And even if the man did the pursuing, why didn't she just say no? Can a woman have a best friend? What made her betray the only friend she had in such a devastating way? i.e. tear apart a 25 year marriage, and break the hearts of 4 children, including her own.

I found out that she had systematically lied to my husband, telling him I had many lovers during the course of our marriage. Which is untrue. But she has split other married couples up also. And before you think she's some kind of femme fatale, she is a very fugly woman, with a low IQ and my husband was totally in denial when I caught them out, using the same line over and over..."do you really think I could ***** that?" Well he did. The disturbing part for me is that she copied the same names as mine for her children, which is a little sick. However I've found me a wonderful man, he's successful and loving, adores me, and drags me around the world with him! My husband who I loved, was a bit childish. But fugs husband has left her, she's screwed herself up finacially, has got to sell her house in 5 years, and my husbands been diagnosed with cancer and lost his job as a result, which while I'm sad about that, is not really my problem, she'll have to take care of him. Karma huh?

Answer 1

stupidity and lack of self respect

Answer 2

First of all - you are not her "best friend". If you were, she would not have slept with your husband. This woman is a liar and cannot be trusted. From your question, you imply she states "your husband pursued her"; why didn't she put a stop to it? why didn't she inform you if she were your friend? - she's not your friend.

This is a painful situation. Your husband has betrayed you BIG TIME!! Don't just blame the woman. It take "two" to have sexual intercourse. Did your husband ever talk to you and state that he had an attraction to your friend? Have you and your husband been having conflicts in your marriage? was the other woman a confidante that he could talk to because you were too busy?

Seek counseling for yourself and your children to resolve the hurt and determine which way to go. Don't forget about how all of this affects the children. They need help and support through this as well.

Answer 3

Had much the same happen to me, though not together as long and other woman was more an aquaintance. He said the same thing to me 'as if I would s**g that' and 'she is a bike' etc etc. Found out from someone in the pub where I worked! Before I found out she had the nerve to come up to me and ask we were still friends. Told her there and then we had never been friends. Women like this are selfish, dirty and unrespectable and will remain on their own forever. This particular one has had no relationship in the time I've known her. Just been a mattress to all and sundry. The thing to ask yourself is who is happier now? You are better than both of them. Good luck and enjoy!

Answer 4

Difficult question to answer. Lust or coveteousness, lapse of senses, hormones, momentary loss of control caused by sudden rush of blood to the brain or some other portion of the body..... All I can say is that it takes two hands to clap - the woman did wrong but the husband did no better, and I am sure she didn't have to point a gun at his temple to get him to perform.

Sometimes, in a moment of madness, we throw caution to the wind and lapse back into pure animal instinct - doing things just out of sheer passion and lust, without a care for the consequences... and in that instance, lives are destroyed, years of trust are eroded and hearts are broken. It's not just your best friend, it has happened to many other loving couples and families and it will continue to happen!

It is said that it takes two to make a marriage but I have found out that today, for a successful marriage to last the test of time, it takes three - the wife, the husband and God. Without God in the marriage equation, the marriage will be easily torn apart.

Answer 5

Most people cheat for a few reasons, 1. they are board, 2 they are looking for excitement, 3, they want to hurt a that other person, 4 they want what that other person has, 5 they heard the sex was great and want to see for them self's. Or they just don't love the other person so they don't care what happens to the person that is going to get hurt. These two people that did the cheating, and betraying did it for one or more of these reasons, you no these people sit back and look at the situation. And after doing this you see why they did it. All the signs were there. Tell the woman that was betrayed. The hurt will go way in time, and let her no that what goes around come around. And she can look forward to that one day. PS she has to let the hurt go or it will care over to her next relationship. PS I not a woman who dated a married man and later on in life she married a man and he cheated on her and she asked me y and i told her what goes around come around and she said why did you say that and I told her do you remember that woman that called you and asked you to leave her husband alone she looked see what goes around comes around

Answer 6

It's the two way situation. Abviously they were really hot for each other. One must not be blame for the other as two of them both created the problem. They are both lousy individuals who has no feelings or regards for their own spouse and children. Sometimes temptations can overcome anyone. I wish there is no such things as infidility, but there is, and I hate it.

Ps Sorry this happened to you, someday you will find someone that will respect you and love you unconditionally.

Answer 7

There is not a lot of logic where feelings are concerned. All logic....all friendships are not thought about in the "heat of the moment". Consequences of a person's actions very rarely get looked at until after the fact. Thats why people call it a "mistake". Maybe this "friend" didnt want to say no...maybe her feelings were just as strong as the husband's feelings. They are two consenting adults and both of them are equallly responsible for the outcome. I dont advocate infidelity, but it happens....feelings just get the better of you and you end up doing something you regret later. We are human, these things happen.....but I guess when you are emotionally involved with someone it is very hard to see the logic. Betrayal of any sort cuts you to the quick. You dont understand how someone who claims to love you so much could do that to you....and with your best friend....wow, that is a lot to take in. You can send yourself crazy trying to work out the logic of it all, but the fact remains.....there is no logic. Yes, she could have said no. Yes, he didnt have to persue her. It's all hindsight stuff....it happened and there is no use beating yourself up over whos fault it was. It wasnt your fault....you didnt drive him into the arms of the other woman. These two people obviously were attracted to each other, so the blame lies with both of them, not just her. He could have said "no" too. The only thing you can do is to put this into perspective.....how are they feeling now? Do they regret it ever happening? Or do they want to be an item? They are the questions you should be asking yourself and depending on the answer, you will know what to do. If your husband loves you, and if it was just a heat of the moment thing, then your marriage can be saved. You just have to decide if you want to save it. This doesnt have to be the end. What your husband did with your best friend doesnt have to destroy 2 families. What everyone involved needs to do is to decide if they want to stay married and if they do then counselling is the only sensible option for all of you (separately, of course). If you want your marriage to survive then all contact has to be cut from this other woman because that is the only way it will work. It has to be all or nothing. You cannot remain friends with this woman under any circumstances. In saying that however, she is not to blame for all of this.....your husband is just as much to blame. Work out what you want to do.....work out if you and your husband want to stay married to each other, then find a good, qualified, experienced counsellor to help you both work through the problems. Whatever this other woman and her husband want to do is totally up to them.

Work out what you really want to do and stop asking yourself questions that can never be answered to your satisfaction.

I hope, with time, you will be able to find peace in your life. Time, will see that happen for you...but no more beating yourself up, OK....work on what you have in front of you...try to be logical and work out if your marriage is worth hanging onto.

Take care

Answer 8

There is not such thing "friends", there are "social relation" and the lack of moral makes that, but then get mad, if your fault for being so naive... would you let 100 pounds over a desk?, so how you give a chance with your boyfriend, take care of what is yours...all the time. And choose much better your "friends"...CHOOSE.

Answer 9

It will be difficult, but you will come to terms with this. I can't tell you how many times I dreamt about revenge when I was trying to deal w/ a similar situation, but I made a decision to rise above it- and I DID. I met a wonderful man, 1000 times better than this dirtbag I was upset over.
Consider the fact that S*ut has to think about what she did every day of her life- she did it, its done, she can't undo it. Karma, karma, karma...you can't avoid it and its on its way.

Answer 10

I think you also need to ask why a man would stoop so low the sleep with his wife's friend. There are two people there, and they share just as much of the responsiblitiy.

Answer 11

Yep, what goes around does come around, but no matter how much you've been hurt, NEVER gloat or be happy because someone else is miserable, it'll just drag you back down to their level.
Forgive, release the anger and celebrate and appreciate what you've got every single moment you have.