I am a guy 37 years old, married for 9 years, you wont believe this, it was an arranged marriage!!!!!!!!!! I spoke to her for about 10 minutes before.......................don't ask. It was a wreck from the beginning, but I kept denying and tried for 4 years until at some point I gave up, now I have 2 kids out of about 10 times of crappy sex in all.
Now 9 years later I met this woman on a chat site and since have been as happy as I could be, problem is she is married herself and has 2 kids, and in a crappy marriage as well, we are totally utterly in love we are of different race, I am mentally and physically happy, I plan to get out of my marriage soon and so does she, in fact she has already moved out of her home and will be filing for divorce in 2 days. Just wanted to know what you all out there thought of all this, although it would not change anyhthing..................thanks folks
2007-04-22 14:14:07 · 16 answers · asked by arnold s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I truly hope you will be happier. Since you and this woman both have kids, this will not likely be an easy union. Add in the fact that different races are at play too.
Arranged marriages have their place in tradition, but it takes more than tradition to make a relationship last.
2007-04-22 14:19:09 · answer #1 · answered by ciberpunk1 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you are unhappy in your marriage, then deal with that first. If you feel the marriage is beyond repair, and don't want to try counseling or stay married to your wife, then end your marriage. This should be the case no matter how you meet your next girlfriend.
As far as meeting this woman on the Internet, I would be very, very careful. Aside from the usual challenges (this could be a rebound relationship for you both, dealing with blended families, the fact you bring up the issue of you being different races), you don't know this woman. It sounds like you've never met. Yes, the pull of on line "relationships" is very strong. How do you know she's getting a divorce in two days? How do you know she's already moved out of her house? It takes two for a marriage to be crappy, and you've only heard her side of the story.
The whole thing sounds very suspicious. If I were you, I would deal with ending my marriage first and delay dating anyone seriously or getting into a serious relationship. What is the hurry? Catch your breath and make sure you're making sound decisions. I'd back off the Internet "relationship," you really don't know enough about this woman to know whether she's being honest with you or not.
2007-04-22 21:27:29 · answer #2 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I assume that 9 years ago, you were a sane and reasonable ADULT, and you made a decision to marry a woman that you have met for only 10 minutes. And hey! Surprise! It did not work out!
Now you have 2 kids and no sex life and in love with a woman (who is married and has 2 kids) you met on the net.
What can I say? You seem like you are climbing out of one hole and into another.
Be fair to your wife, have you tried talking to her and making it work? What about your kids?
What about the other woman's husband? How does he feel?
I suggest you take a break and think through matters carefully. There is no going back once you have made a decision. And make sure it's a rational one this time.
2007-04-23 12:37:20 · answer #3 · answered by Jason C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow, i think you have a lot of problems..but it is not a total failure as you have learned much from your experience.
just try to keep the marriage alive for the sake of the children...or at least until they are of legal age..
can you afford to support two households?
well, you will have to consider the consequences of this action..how will your friends and family be effected by your actions? your children will be effected...maybe for the good if you two are not really a couple..there is life after divorce...but it is going to cost you in not only money but in a lot of emotional problems..but if you are truly unhappy then get a separation but do not rush into another arrangement as you are doing this on the rebound off a bad relationship..believe me..the grass seems greener on the other side of the fence..but most of the times we go from the frying pan and into a fire......look before you leap..
2007-04-22 21:22:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
all i have to say is make urself happy...u r number one in ur books and then u will b able to tend to everyone else!....if ur kids grow up with parents that r unhappy,it rubs off!if u r not happy u kids wont b either. i know two couples that met over the internet ,one has been married for over 6 years and the other couple is getting married in september,and she has been with him for over 2 years!
i have a friend that chatted and met up with the guy and had room reserved for 2 days and she got another room for the 2nd day...lol he was supposed to look good and he had no teeth and long fingernails....just a thought!
2007-04-22 21:31:08 · answer #5 · answered by ticktockgal 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Who's to say you'e going to be happy with this cyber woman? She's probably telling you whatever you want to hear and when you get with her it'll be a different story. At least you know your wife and know what she is about. Also, it takes two people to make a marriage work so what have you done to help screw up your marriage? All in all stay with your wife. Rekindle the love.
2007-04-22 21:23:07 · answer #6 · answered by wisdom_women 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Ok , where are you from? Arranged marriages are in India and maybe Africa? Anyway besides that you should have sent your wife packing years ago, and there is nothing wrong with going with another race. Well maybe buying your family over but if they were part of the whole arrangement thing then well not much you can do.
2007-04-22 21:20:04 · answer #7 · answered by happy&content 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Nice to know you are thinking about your children and her children. Seems the both of you have huge problems with selfishness. All you are thinking about is yourselves and not at all about how this is going to effect the children you are dragging into your adulterous lives.
Grow up and be a REAL man. You created the kids, not it's not about you anymore. Get a grip on that, leave the married lady alone, and work on raising your own kids to have better morals than you do.
2007-04-22 21:18:18 · answer #8 · answered by az_mommma 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sounds too good to be true. I know someone who got caught up with someone online to the point of leaving their current relationship too. It turned out not to be true and she was so brokenhearted because they chatted and talked on the phone for over 3 years!!!
Have you ever webcammed with her besides going on the photos you've only seen? Please tell me you haven't given her money!
2007-04-22 21:24:50 · answer #9 · answered by lenise1973 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well obviously you both didnt marry out of love.. i guess you dont love her.. its sad because there is 2 kids already. what can I say your gonna do whatever you want, but in reality your kids will be the ones to suffer. good luck :(
2007-04-22 21:19:48 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋