i posted a few minutes ago, but i didnt put all the abusive details. my man left me after 8 years of being together, were not married, and were both 20 years old. he went to prison for 3 years, and just got out in july. we planned on having this baby,and getting married. but, then i came home with him in bed with another girl. after that things went downhill. he stared drinking and shooting dope every day!!! he came home one day when it was icey outside and told me to leave, he didnt care if i lived or died. that i was nothing to him, and i never will be. he chizzled off the ice on my car, put a blanket in it and told me to suffer. finaly he let me in the house, and he told me his aunt told him i cheated on him and the kid isnt his. he said she would not lie about something like that.
i left his house the next day, and im living with my grandparents. he has girls calling me and he threatens to kill my family. he says he wants to be there for the baby, but he cant stand me.
2007-04-22
12:24:23
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13 answers
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asked by
Anonymous
in
Pregnancy & Parenting
➔ Pregnancy
First of all, why would you even ant a guy like this in your baby's life? And if he is threating you, you need to call the police and report his sorry ***!! You don't need the stress in your life.
2007-04-22 12:30:37
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answer #1
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answered by felita2004 2
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Hi, If he has cheated on you in your own home then his been cheating on you else where, girl you need to stay away from him, abuse is not love, he sounds dangerous, the only reason he is saying that you cheated on him is to cover his own tracks, he obviously doesn't believe that you cheated anyhow because he is saying he wants to be there for the baby. If he is threatening you, you should notify the police, and see a social worker, get an intervention order, look after yourself and the baby, don't worry about him because he obviously doesn't care about you, he doesn't treat you like a man should, he doesnt respect you, trust me girl I have been in the same situation, after 5 years of my blindness I have been happy for the last 2 years and am enjoying my life with a man who respects me and loves me, you can do it too. You would be suprised on how many other women are going thro what your going thro, emotionally, physically and mentally, I started helping myself by stop feeling sorry for myself, I ended up going to my local community health centre and I joined a standing strong group (women who are in an abusive relationship) I was amazed at how many other women were in the exact position as me, it gave me a chance to listen to others and talk about my own experience, and just that helped me. It's about standing tall and getting your selfesteem back that he took away from you, and start caring and respecting yourself again, after doing this, it helped me make the decision on getting and intervention order. You are better than that and you deserve better, it is hard at the start because your emotions will be with him, but hard will be overcome and it will start getting easier, and you will look back and say to yourself what was I with him for.
Well I hope I have helped and I wish you all the best, STAND STRONG dont give in to ABUSE. x good luck
2007-04-22 13:06:46
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answer #2
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answered by uniqueinspirations 2
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Okay, so you have a lot of things going on right now.
First off:
If you really think it's his baby, write him a letter saying that you honestly know it's his baby and that you want to have a paternity test. If he submits DNA, you can get papers, and the threats will stop.
If they get really serious, call the police.
Second off:
You've got a lot of drama behind you- apparently you've been with him since you were thirteen? I can't tell you how you feel about him, but if I were you, I wouldn't want to be with someone who makes me feel like crap and cheats on me.
I would move on with my life, focus on my baby, and look for a new relationship.
Once you get back on your feet again, you can move out of your grandparents' home, live on your own with your baby, and start fresh.
Don't worry, all this may seem like a big burden now, but soon you'll learn it's not a regret.
It's just something that you went through and you learned from, but it's all in the past and you are stronger to dwell on it.
follow your heart!! ;)
2007-04-22 12:32:47
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answer #3
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answered by Kayla Arielle M. 4
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Stay away from him. You have been with him since you were a child. Well now your going to have a child, think about that child. If he says the baby isn't his that could be a good thing. If you want to persue him for money then be prepared to share custody. Crazy things happen everyday. His behavior seems very eratic and he could quite posibly jump town with your baby. Please treat this situation with extreme care it could get very dangeruos. Like a woman before me said, document all of this. ALL OF IT!!! Call the police and at least file a harrasment report. You don't have to lock him up, but put as much on paper as you can. If you need to go toy court later it only works in your favor. Please don't let him stress you to much that can be very bad for the baby.Good luck to you. Be careful.
2007-04-22 13:08:30
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answer #4
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answered by jhardinmom 3
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Document all of his behavior with as many witnesses as possible. Use it to keep him away from you and the baby. If he doesn't make very much money it might not be worth it (financially or emotionally) to go after him for child support. If you decide not to go for child support, you can just skip putting him on the birth certificate altogether, then he'll have no rights to the baby at all.
2007-04-22 12:31:25
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answer #5
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answered by Heather Y 7
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First i could elect to declare sorry for what you have been via. I had a matching experience. i exchange into on my own for the whole being pregnant as properly because of the fact the transport. ideal earlier I had the toddler he have been given a clean lady chum. What exchange into hurtful greater beneficial than something exchange into that when I had the toddler he did no longer even verify on us interior the well-being midsection...the comparable place the place he labored. Its significant to place each little thing in perspective enormously now that a toddler is in contact. I even have forgiven this man or woman for each little thing even although he's with somebody else and has yet another toddler. So with that i will tell you for you to forgive him. In doing so which you will have that peace interior your self which you like ideal now. Im curious to appreciate what his very family existence exchange into like. it form of feels to me that he's lacking any self belief in himself to be a father. He might desire to be there yet might experience inadequate. the reality that he's living with yet another woman isn't any mirrored photograph on you. He has no longer come into his place as a guy ought to consequently maintains to elect somebody to 'nurture' him as a mom. If he's prepared, possibly some counseling could prevail enormously if there exchange into any form of abuse. be helpful to preserve your self and your son. the way you experience approximately your self is how others will experience approximately you. Use awareness while it comprises your son. you will continuously elect his father to be there for him and except it is risky in any way then save the door open. you enjoyed him for a reason...attempt to concentration on that and talk of him certainly to his son.
2016-10-13 05:31:37
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answer #6
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answered by andresen 4
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The guy is a loser. Get away and stay away. He is doing drugs and has been in prison. Think of yourself and your baby Go to church and start a life away and without him. Go to school to get a good job to support yourself and the baby. Dont let him near you!!!!
2007-04-22 12:32:09
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answer #7
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answered by cleosmaster123 2
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first of all take it to the police. ask them if they can have someone protecting you. then move to where it is safe for you and your baby. maybe to a different town or state. what ever you do do not let him ever see the baby, you can always lie about an miscarrige, still born, or disease just to protect your baby. i had a boyfriend and he was just like him. except he found me and took my baby, and then let it starve to death. please do not let this happen to you! and do NOT go back to him what ever you do!
2007-04-22 14:04:16
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answer #8
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answered by rocky mountains 1
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o mija u should really not have him in ur life call da police n put da restraining order on him wut a piece of crap i would avoid him n change my number but first get proof like record him o da girls calling u u no so dat u can have proof make sure u stay away from him
2007-04-22 15:26:57
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answer #9
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answered by coco puffs 2
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i'd get a restraining order against him. a baby doesn't need to be around someone like that and you don't need the stress from him. i hope things get better for you. good luck!
2007-04-22 12:28:02
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answer #10
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answered by volc0mchiick 2
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