Inmate Visits??

Question

I need QUICK help... I have a friend coming over who was just let out of jail a few days ago. And I wanna mess with her. I have 2 phones hooked up, one phone outside and one phone inside, seperated by the glass in my screen door. HAHA I wanna make a sign that says :Attention inmates:" then leave some little rules that they have in the actual jail.... I'm drawing a blank here, all I can think of is "all coversations may be recorded" Please list some other details I can list... Much thanks!

I DO NOT mean the rules they have for visitors...the list of rules they have for the INMATE..thanks

She was in for a few weeks. She WILL find it hilarious! When she calls I press 1 to "be connected" like when she's actually in jail. She will NOT mind.

Here's what the "notice" said:
ATTENTION INMATES:

1.) PICK UP PHONE TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR VISITOR
2.) PLEASE STAY SEATED UNTIL YOUR VISIT IS OVER.
3.) PLEASE REFRAIN FROM USE OF PROFANITY.
4.) ALL CONVERSTATIONS MAY BE MONITORED.
5.) NO SMOKING WILL BE PERMITTED.
6.) NO FOOD OR BEVERAGES ALLOWED. ESPECIALLY ALCOHOL, ATTN: JANE SMITH (her name).
7.) PLEASE LIMIT VISITS TO 1 HOUR.
8.) PLEASE KEEP HANDS AND OBJECTS OFF OF THE GLASS.
9.) NO DRUGS OF ANY KIND WILL BE PERMITTED.

God, I'd hate to be my friend!

Thanks guys who answered! Wish I could give you both 10 points. :(

Answer 1

You could dress up like a guard.

But.. are you SURE you're friend will find this funny? How long was she in jail?

Answer 2

I assume your "friend" will find this funny, eh?