I know I am being unreasonable and rude but I have to be otherwise I will lose her forever and I dnt want that

Question

I have a friend, I like her alot, but I have been feeling used by her, I thought of throwing her out of my life but deep somewhere I feel I will miss her badly if I do that.. so I came up with another thought and that is to have some space for myself.. maybe I am being too demanding and clingy on her.
I want to give her as well as myself space for some days or months I want to be without her and when I will feel getting back to her I will get back to her.

Now the problem is this friend of mine is very sensitive and take things to heart but I am going crazy by this feeling of a door mat to her.
How do I ask her to give me somedays or months to be alone without her?
I want to be her friend but at this point of time I need space.
I dont want her to hate me for this.. I want to tell this in such a way that she understands and will allow me and will take me back in her life when I come back.

If she had ask for space I would have feel very hurt, plz think and answer me. plz help me

Answer 1

i understand how difficult this situation is for you, you're tying yourself in knots trying to do the right thing. i agree that you shouldn't be treated like a doormat, and i know you say she's sensitive, but carrying on the way you are will destroy you, so you really must sit her down and tell her gently something like this: 'you know how much i care for you, and that i'd never hurt you, but i'm asking you please let me have some space to sort my head out, and i'll contact you when i feel able'. you may well find that with space you really can do without being treated like this, or maybe she'll realise what she's doing to you, i do hope it works out, be strong

Answer 2

you seem a nice person so sit her down and explain in detail why you are asking for space. that way you can answer any questions she has about it. explain that you do like her and care for her but your head is messed up and you just want a little bit of space to sort it out. tell her it isnt a reflection on her personality or anything like that. generally stress that you still want her in your life but that at this point in your life you just need a bit of space. also mention you feel a little like a doormat. after all. she is your friend and you should be able to tell her anything. dont be vague in the amount of time you want to be away from her for, give her specifics, i.e. two weeks, two months or however long you feel you will need. if she is your true friend and you explain it properly then there should be no reason why she shouldnt let you back into her life. good luck

Answer 3

I do understand what you are saying> but the way you word
things it sounds like you are more than just friends with this person>you want time away from her but yet you want her to except you back when you decide the time is right for you to do so.no life does not work that way>being a door mat works two ways>sounds like by you asking for weeks maybe even a couple of months that you are the one that needs to
just take a walk and stay gone as you can not expect this woman to sit and wait on you while you are doing your thing>
it just might work out for you.depends on how much your lady friend cares for you.But you are not being fare to her by thinking that she should sit around waiting on you to come back into her life>everone needs some time away from each other at some point in life> maybe you need to not be around her like ever day>try once a week are maybe ever two weeks
and see how it works out then> other wise maybe you need to
make a choice for yourself and just leave her alone for good
are make up your mind about how you truely feel for her

Answer 4

Your question makes it clear that you don't know what you want and are just afraid of hurting someone's feelings rather than doing what's right. It also sounds like you aren't ready for a commitment. That's fine, but be a man about it.

Make a decision. If the answer is no, make a clean break and move on. It's better she finds out early rather than late. If the answer is Yes, then don't string the poor girl along - commit to the friendship and look at the good in her.

Answer 5

Maybe, if you don't make it a personal request, but tell her that you need to have a break from everything for a while. Say that things are getting you down, and you feel that taking some time for yourself would help. Tell her that you will miss her during this time, but you hope she will understand that you need some space from everything.

Could you keep in touch with her by letter? In that way your friendship can still continue. And maybe, through letters you can tell her how you really feel.

Good luck.

Answer 6

i don't know what the real situation is between u two even though u tried explaining it but if she really values u as a friend she will understand. just tell her u need some time out and when u feel ready u will be in touch with her.when u say this u got to mean it. may be this space between u two will make her realise if u r important to her in like as a friend or more than a friend. pluck the courage n just distance urself and hopefully things might turn out for the best...good luck

Answer 7

Asking for space as in "i want to temporarily break up with you" is not going to work. Take it on case by case basis. Undearstand for yourself that you're not obligated to spend all your free time with her. When arranging for the next time you're going to see her, take into accout that you need some time for yourself, and don't just blurt it out that you'll be free this evening. Tell her tommorow evening.
Simply taking a month off is not going to fix your relationship. You need to explain to her what makes you feel like a doormat. She is not going to magically understand it if you don't let her know.

If however you are sure that you need like a month alone, you will have to tell her that. In this case, she might or might not take you back, it is not in your control.

Answer 8

So let me get this straight... You know you will hurt her ...this person you obviously...want a future with....and thats ok w/ you? hummmmmmm You must not love her that much... Sounds to me pretty 1 sided... your feelings matter hers don't!!!!! Thats far from being clingy... you r leaving her!! just tell her how you feel ... You don't know what you want now:; what makes you believe you will want your friend later... friends do not leave each other... Friends work things out they talk they communicate & they tell each other HEY>>> u make me feel bad!!!!.. They try!!!!.and they fix the problem!!!!! So be a true friend.... as you say you r...

Answer 9

some people need time on they own i know that one
you need to tell her in the best way you can and if she wont's to be silly about it let her get on with it
most men like being on they own and doing they own thing and I'm a woman who like doing her own thing i had to tell my friend the same thing i need time on my own but at first she was up set with me but now she is alright with that and we phone each other once a week to have a chat and that has help us a lot
if she told you the same thing yes you would get hurt from it because you mine think you have done something wrong so explain to your mate in the good way you can so she can understand what is going thought your head

Answer 10

this is a tough one but you guys are friends...not in a relationship right? well just tell her that your life is getting too stressing so you feel like spending time for yourself to figure things out would be a great help for your stress level. tell her that there are too many things going on and that you need to find answers for yourself...

dunno if that's any help...