I was severely sexually abused for four years beginning when I was nine; I'm 18 now. Apparently I have PTSD, etc. I have my first gynecology appointment next month and I am more scared than you can even believe. I don't see how there's a possibility that it won't be as painful as it used to be, and just taking my clothes off will start flashbacks, I'm sure. I'm thinking about the appointment every second of every day, which probably isn't the best idea but I can't think of anything else. And I'm not comfortable talking about it either, so I can't just come out and TELL the OB/GYN. I really don't know what to do, and I'm not even sure what kind of advice I'm asking for. But any ideas?
2007-04-22 08:33:29 · 10 answers · asked by rashavara1 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
The OB/GYN is a woman, but so was the person who abused me. But I don't think it would be any better with a man. I know how important this is; that's why I'm pushing myself into doing it. I'm just very worried that I'm pushing myself TOO hard and that I'll completely lose it/reexperience what happened.
And I am currently seeing a psychologist, but it's really hard for me to tell her the details. I've dissociated in her office. Honestly, I can't even handle her SAYING "vagina". God only knows what I'll do at the gynecologist.
2007-04-22 09:03:55 · update #1
If you have a friend that you trust you could have that person go the appointment with you. Your friend could talk to your doctor for you. Depending on how you were sexually abused the doctor may note some scarring anyways. You need to be very honest with your doctor so that your doctor can take extra measures to ensure that you feel safe during this appt..
If there is time you may feel more comfortable writing your problems down in a letter and mailing it to your doctors office and giving them a heads up. Let them know when your appt is and what you are concerned with and how hard it is for you to tak about it. They should then attach it to your file and the doctor would be able to review this prior to entering the room with you.
2007-04-22 08:42:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most docs will be understanding. Intimate exams are difficult enough. If it helps request to have a nurse present for the exam.
Also speak to your doctor. Flashbacks are horrifying, but not taking care of your health can have even worse consequences.
A medical exam is not sexual abuse -- try and remember that.
If you can learn some techniques to relax, you'll be okay. When we are tense, things can be more painful.
You might also consider requesting a female ob/gyn, some people find this helpful if the abuser was male. (The reverse if the abuser was female.)
And remember, it's only a flashback.
2007-04-22 08:40:31 · answer #2 · answered by guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is that you deal with the PTSD first. Go see a psychiatrist and then a psychologist. Get that underway first and then go see the OB/GYN. I'm sorry about what happened to you but it's very important that you get checked out down there to make sure that everything is working okay, you can't avoid it. You also have to get over the fear of talking to the OB/GYN because if you tell him/her then you have a better chance of them being understanding. If you remain quite then there's nothing for them to even try to understand. I hope that it goes well for you.
2007-04-22 08:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can do it. You'll be wearing a gown - and you don't undress in front of anyone.
Think of a place or an object that makes you happy. Whenever you get scared, start thinking about that - close your eyes if you have to. It'll make things easier.
Try writing down what happened - practice saying aloud what you've written. When you get to the doc's office, if you don't feel comfortable telling him, you can always give him the piece of paper. For your own health/safety your doctor needs to know. Maybe seeing a female doc will help. It won't seem as bad then. A lot of docs have initial consults - where they don't do the exam - you just see if you're comfortable with them. It also might make things easier if you meet the doctor ahead of time.
Good luck! You can do it!
2007-04-22 08:43:00 · answer #4 · answered by Roland'sMommy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Be absolutely sure to tell your doctor of these issues. And request a female doctor! She might even give you some meds to help combat the anxiety for the short term while the exam is being done.
Be aware that you are allowed to have another person in the room with you during the exam. A friend, family member, or your partner/spouse are all allowed, especially if the doctor is aware of your trauma.
Finally, once this exam is over (and it will only take few minutes, so PLEASE take care of your body first), get some counseling to help take care of your mind & emotions. No one should have to suffer years after their assault. Get some help for yourself.
2007-04-22 08:49:12 · answer #5 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when you go to the doctors office the nurse will come in first to be with you. she will take your vital signs when your with her, tell her about the abuse you endured and ask her not to leave you.she will be in there every second your in the office and if it starts to hurt just ask him to stop the exam.but it's ok to talk about what your feeling a lot of women feel the same way and they weren't in your situation i know i do no women likes to be examined by a doctor but we all have to. don't worry about it so much you'll be ok just talk to the nurse she will understand and she won't make any judgments. good luck some male doctors are more gentle then a female doctors are.if he or she knows in advance what happened they will be more gentle you really will be ok
2007-04-22 08:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by sandra r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry about your abuse, but having these appointments annually is very important for your health. You SHOULD tell the doctor what you went through so she can be extra careful and gentle. I hope you are going to a female.
2007-04-22 08:39:27 · answer #7 · answered by RadTech - BAS RT(R)(ARRT) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you fill out the medical forms before you see the Dr , PLEASE be sure to write this down. It's really important for the Dr to know.Don't worry, they receive training on how to talk to girls/women about this kind of thing, so when he/she brings the subject up I am sure he/she will be very gentle with you.
Bring a friend with you, or your Mom, for moral support as you talk to your Dr, even if for the actual exam you may feel more comfortable with them stepping out of the room.
You have to take care of yourself, no one else can do it for you. And part of that is standing up for yourself and protecting yourself and your health..you can do this! (every women here will be with you in spirit too!)
2007-04-22 08:53:17 · answer #8 · answered by rose_32008 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aw Hun I'm sorry about what you have been through, i have never been through what you have but these doctor do this job day in and day out they see everything all time time, i can understand you being afraid when i was examined i had a nurse with me too or i could have had a parent or a friend, explain this to the doctor treating you, it may well be already in your files
good luck x
2007-04-22 09:01:42 · answer #9 · answered by Autism's Beautiful Face 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you been treated and diagnosed with PTSD? If you have you should bring this up to your therapist. If you have not been treated or diagnosed you should talk to your primary physician and talk to them about what happened to you, and they should be able to refer you to a counselor/ therapist. Where you will learn to deal with your traumatic experience.
If you aren't able to do that, then tell the OB/GYN about your experience(s), most of them are trained to deal with abuse issues and know who to direct you to. Please seek a therapist if you have not done so. Good luck!
2007-04-22 09:45:35 · answer #10 · answered by TrueMetal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋