my brother in law has a sister that every time we go home to visit she hangs all over my husband?

Question

it botheres me I have never said anything to my husband but I don;t know what to do any andvise ....

p.s I don't think my husband realizes she is even doing it and she can't keep a guy she treats then like crap my husband does not give her the the time of day. but it bothers the **** out of me.

Answer 1

Yep...I've got one of those. A ho-bag step-sister. Literally sleeps with ANYONE. Brushes against every man...so obvious. I'd bet this girl is the same...has some serious issues. What do you do? Don't ignore it like I did. Because you have a bit of class, you try to ignore bad behavior for everyone's sake. She doesn't deserve any consideration...next time it happens, right then in front of everyone...and with a smile, ask her if she thinks hanging on your husband is appropriate behavior? Just tell her you're surprised no one's ever taught her certain boundaries. Don't be mad about it...just come off like you are trying to help her. After all you "care" about her and wouldn't want her to be hurt by some man's wife if she crossed the wrong person. She'll get the point. :)

Answer 2

Tell your husband how you feel... Ask him how he feels... Communicate with each other and devise a plan to use next visit...

The girl may not even realize she is clinging and hanging on your husband in a manner than makes you uncomfprtable... Different cultures and diferent people have different ideas regarding personal space and the invasion there of... For instance when I married my first husband I was extremely uncomfortable with his families definition of personal space... I had always thought an acceptable space or buffer zone between people was no less than 2 feet... His family is from Mexico and Brazil where as little as little as 1 foot apart is considered conversational distance.. This was especially a problem with his older relatives..

After having a talk with my husband we figured out a way to broaden the conversational space for me without offending his relatives...

Try to tactfully help your husband sluff of the hanger in a way that will let her know what the proper distance to keep is without causing undue confrontation and fuss... Your husband has to be the one to do it as he is the one who has allowed the haning to go on so long...

Answer 3

It's always so difficult to confront things in families. But I wonder if you could say something to your husband like "what is it with X? Seems like she can't leave you alone!"? With a bit of luck he'll say something like "oh I know, isn't she a pain? I just don't know how to stop her" and then the two of you could think together about some strategies to prevent it happening (maybe YOU could hang all over him!). But in any case, saying it like that shouldn't sound like you're accusing your husband of anything or making a big deal that he might get defensive about.

If that feels too difficult, is there anyone else in the family you could talk to? Or someone else who knows this woman? I do hope you find a way to sort it out, before family get-togethers become something you start to dread.

Answer 4

Ok you dont have to say shyt to your husband. I feel your pain though, but you cant confuse this now. Its not him who hangs all over her or ask for a hang all over himself. Its all about your brothers in law sister. You as a strong woman need to put her in check before you three end up on Jerry Springer show. Make sure you tell her that she have no business hanging all over your husband, but when she have one she can hang his neck down as much as she wants, but for now while she is not married she need to back the fu*k off your man! If that dont work, give her a good a$$beating. In a meantime watch them both, see if you can spot some vibe between them, his response, any other things that she may do or say to get your husband to second guess his maturity and faithfulness.

Answer 5

Mention it to your husband in a way that he won't feel it is his fault. Ask him if he has noticed it or if it bothers him. Tell him that it bothers you and if he hasn't noticed it ask him to keep his eye out for it next time you are around her.
If you are the right person you could get away with saying to her in a joking way "hey frisky, even I don't paw at my husband that much"! She might just need attention drawn to it to make her stop. I don't think I could pull that off though. My negative feelings would show through.

Answer 6

If it were me I would have set my boundaries right away. You need to tell her that if she touches your husband again that you will rip out every piece of hair from her head and that you are not joking about it. And if she persists, knock her a** right out. I don't think that you will have any more trouble after that. She is only doing this because she knows it bothers you and is daring you to do something about it. The question is how far are you willing to go to put and end to this behavior? Only you can answer that.

Answer 7

tell your husband next time to take her hands off him and put them at her side, what do you mean you haven't said anything to him yet- he is your husband there is nothing you can't say to one another. if she still persists, i would talk to her in front of everyone, mabey she will be embarassed into doing the right thing. she is clearly flirting with him.

Answer 8

The next time she does it,you tell her to get away from your husband and go find her a man.If you have to act a fool up side her head.She knows what she is doing,trying to get your man in bed.

Answer 9

just tell her that you don't appreciate her hanging on your husband and tell your husband you don't like it so if she starts to come around he needs to say something and just stay out of her way, and if it doesn't stop then don't go over there anymore!!...HE'S YOUR HUSBAND, TAKE CONTROL!!!!!!

Answer 10

It's the man's sister...they grew up together. She probably misses him after being away for a while. What's the big deal, they're family, get over yourself.