should i do what she asked?

Question

i have been drinking since i was 14 i am now 28 an i work offshore im only home 1 wk. out tha month 3 months a year an the other day i came home an got drunk i got so drunk that i couldnt remember what i did but it must have been bad cause she was mad i had a black eye an blood on my face when i woke up an she said she hit me with her weddind ring on its a carrot diamond so i went out again an got drunk an came home an got in an argument an the rest of the week went ok .an when i went back to work she called me an asked me to quit drinking should i ? o she goes to bars when im offshore an when im home she dont want to go to bars with me is that wrong

Answer 1

Sorry. Who's "SHE"? Yes you should stop drinking. It clearly messes you up. Try living a normal sober life. Both of you!

Answer 2

Well I guess you could look at it two ways. If you don't know what you are doing when you get drunk then you should not drink. If you want to save your relationship then quit the drinking. However in fairness to you I think that if you know for a fact that she goes to bars when you are offshore then it only fair that she stops doing that for you too if you stop drinking for her. I hate to say it but the person that answered with she does not want to go to the bars with you because she might run into one of her lovers may be right. I hope not for your sake if you really love her but it could be the reason. Sorry. Talk to her and ask her why it is okay for her to go when you are not around and why she won't go with you when you are home. Good luck... Oh by the way, did you ever think about quitting the drinking for your own well-being and not for her or anyone else? Might find that life is better without it.

Answer 3

Most of what you say points out to you having an alcohol-drinking problem. You seem to have started really young. If you are home only one week out of each month, and all she sees is you drinking and getting into trouble, I can understand why she wants you to quit. If you got so drunk that you couldn't remember what happened, and you even got hurt and got her to punch you, that points at you having a more serious problem. You could be killing yourself or someone else or hurting someone really seriously. Then, the way you handled the situation could be better. As a response for what happened, you go out and get drunk again. Was that the actual solution for the problem? Did go out and drank just to get away of the problem? Taking your distance from a problem may be good if you are using that time to heal yourself and come up with some solution to the problem, but if you just repeated the behavior that caused the problem and came home to get in an argument, then you are just making the problem worse. Instead of arguing, try listening or explaining your point of view in a manner that is not offensive like calling names or blaming. You say the rest of the week went OK. I don't know what you mean by that. After an argument like that, I don't think things were really nice between you and your wife and love was in the air. Your wife is having the courage to put a limit to the situation for her own safety. Think about it. Do you want your relationship or not? Are you willing to commit, or do you still want things your way? Do you have any evidence that she goes to bars when you are offshore, or are you just making assumptions? If she goes to bars and doesn't want to go with you, maybe what she doesn't like is hanging out with someone that is going to lose it and get her into trouble. It's nice to go to a bar as far as things don't get out of control. If you are getting out of control in public places or when you come back home, she has a real reason to be concerned for her safety.

Answer 4

Of course you should quit drinking, you seem like you are an alcoholic and can't live without drinking. I'm not telling you to stop drinking completely, just to go out and drink less. Don't get drunk anymore, that is what she doesn't like. You are ruining your relationship with your wife. If you keep up your ways when you are off shore, she would keep fighting with you and you will eventually divorce, not because you don't want to. If you were drinking since you were 14, that isn't good. I'm surprised that you don't have a liver disease yet. Your heavy drinking could cause cancer of the liver and other diseases. Your wife doesn't want to deal with that. If you can't stop on your own, go to a rehab clinic. good luck

Answer 5

maybe she doesnt want to go to bars with you because you have a drinking problem...
your drinking is ruining your marriage, its overtaking both of you, please if your marriage is important to you, either quit drinking, or seriously slow it down learn how to control your drinking, have a beer or two, dont go out to get smashed, im sure that your job is stressful and that seems to be a good solution but try to find a new one, instead of spending half the week your off shore getting tanked, try spending half the week offshore with your wife, take her out, be intimate - that is proven to relieve stress... ;)
i understand that if youre so far into this drinking thing that you may not see what a strain its putting on your relationship, but really think about it while youre away from your wife, so when you come back to her, you can at least say that you have thought about (and maybe have started to come up with a solution) whats going on and that (if you do) you want things to work between you to, and get better....
good luck! and feel free to email me if you have any other questions

Answer 6

Sounds like you get really violent and mean whn you drink which is probably why she doesnt want to go drinking with you. You do have a problem with drinking compounded with the fact you lose control when you drink too much and this makes for a very dangerous and serious situation. Youre going to have to learn to control one or the other or preferably both both you lose everything or get into serious trouble. Think about it and good luck

Answer 7

Maybe she goes to bars when you`re not there cause she knows when to stop drinking and she will not go with you because you don`t know when to stop and you`re out of control and eventually pass out. Yes you should stop drinking and it should not be a problem because she will not drink when she is with you. You`re out of control not her.

Answer 8

You are an alcoholic. You need to quit for yourself, not her. Going to bars and getting so drunk you dont remember anything are two seperate things.

If you cant do something and be a responcible adult while doing it then you should be doing it.

Answer 9

she hit you if she will do it once she will do it again(just so you know). any way to your question yes it is wrong and you might need to cut back on how much you drink but it is all up to you to quit. you need to confront her and ask her why she drinks with out you but will not drink with you. tell her if she went with you then maybe she can stop you before you drink to much.

Answer 10

if she goes when you aren't there but doesn't want to when you come home what is she hiding? If you drink to have fun then you shouldn't stop but if you drink to get drunk its unhealthy so you should probably stop. GOOD LUCK