how can i help a male friend who told me he was raped?

Question

last night a male friend im close to told me he had been raped a couple of times when he was young. I knew he suffered from depression and it explained why he was so inexperienced when we nearly got together in bed. I dont know what to say to him,i want to make him feel good about himself. has anyone else been in a similar situaion or knows a guy who was raped. how can i help him as a friend?

and he's straight.i think he was molested as a child.

Answer 1

I know it is harder for guys to admit it as they think they should be the stronger of the sex's. He should not be ashamed.

He should tell someone and get some counseling. It does help. I was molested by a family member and then raped later in my years. I am doing well. It does help to talk about it and if he knows the person who raped him, to confront him, if he feels he is ready, under supervision of course. I would suggest counseling.

I do know guys who have been raped by a Grandfather. They never told until they were older. They were ashamed. Encourage him to tell. Encourage counseling. He is not a weak person for telling. He is actually quite strong for telling and if this person is still out there and he knows who it is, this person needs to get off the street before they do it again to someone else. You can be there for him when he needs to talk. It can be a long road. Hugs to both of you.

Answer 2

Has he ever told anyone else in authority about what happened to him such as the Police? Males who have been subjected to this often feel very humiliated and that whatever happened was somehow their fault. Maybe by speaking to the Police on an informal basis initially will give him the courage to continue with a case against this man/men who did this.

Things are very different these days and the Police have specially trained officers who will handle the case with respect and sympathy whether or not your friend decides to continue with any case. They will also have details of organisations in your area who can help with counselling or other victims of similar crimes.

It might be the case that the cowardly b***ard that did this has already been made to pay for their crimes as someone else has had the courage to come forward and your friend's account will help in someone else's case. Or perhaps even prevent such a thing happening to someone else in the future.

It will take a lot, I know, but with a kind friend like you to support him, I hope he can find the courage to report these incidents to the Police who will do their best to bring whoever it was to justice. Once he's got it off his chest, he will feel like he's got some power back over the situation and may get some closure.

Best of luck to you both xx

Answer 3

Just be there with him to listen and hold his hand
the fact that he has opened up to you means you are very important to him.
gently ask him if he feels that it would help to talk to a
counsellor about his or does he prefer to just talk.
you must be discreet for him and encourage him that this is not his fault, that he is a lovely person with much more to
get out of life Tell him that there is no need for anything sexual
if he doesnt feel right.
Dont push him to do anything that will set him back now that he reliving it.
Good luck

Answer 4

it took him a lot of courage to confide this in you, so you're obviously a very close friend to him. I think this is outside of your realm of knowledge and experience so you should encourage him to find sympathetic counselling and work these issues through. He's probably feeling deeply ashamed of this, being a victim of sexual abuse. It's very very hard to think what he must be going through. But clearly he needs counselling - suggest he sees his doctor first or perhaps you could make enquiries via your own doctor? I'm sure there must be a support network out there and perhaps your doctor has a local number.
Good luck, you're a very good friend to him.

Answer 5

can he talk to his GP? if so start there as he has spoken to you about this ordeal he may want you too go with him as moral support you could try the Samaritan's but not sure if they can direct you too the right people, if as you say he suffers depression he MUST go to his GP and seek medical help for his depression and then also ask for one 2 one counselling and hopefully his GP will be a Good one and then he can get help for his situation my thoughts go out too him in his hour of need and you should think yourself privileged that he felt comfortable enough with you 2 tell you this terrible thing that happened to him best of luck to you both its going to be a long road and sometimes a very pain full one but once he starts it will get better and once he can face and deal with this properly then he can and will move on with his life best of luck

Answer 6

i'm sorry to hearken to this. Your chum needs a qualified therapist. and additionally you're a significant chum to him. Please do continuously stand via him. could he communicate approximately this to you back, do tell him that he's not at fault at involved with regard to the entire incident that had taken place while he replaced into youthful. Do remember that folk suffered from melancholy have an inclination of blaming themselves for each little thing, or sense that they are ineffective, even while they are not at fault and are the victims themselves. From what you have reported, i think you're extra beneficial than purely a chum to him? for that reason the extra significant you're to him now. Do assure him of the undeniable fact which you will nonetheless cope with him the comparable and which you nonetheless like him for who he's. motivate him while he's discouraged. mutually as nerve-racking approximately your chum, please do guard your self as nicely. do no longer permit the entire factor substitute right into a burden to you. desire you each and every of the main suitable.

Answer 7

Being there for him is a good start. Let him know he can open up to you, when he is ready. Maybe he could speak to a professional councillor. Ask him if he wants you to go with him?

Answer 8

just be there for him, try and get him to go for help, to the right people. the help will make huge difference, to you both.

beside helping your friend, need to look after yourself, this is important, because he opened up to you.

there are some good answers given, better than mine, but i wish you both well.

you can't change the past, just treat him as normal, but always be there for him.

Answer 9

Be a good friend and support his decision to talk to you, listen to him with out being judgemental and encourage him to seek counseling and take your romantic relationship slow and encourage him to do what feels comfortable to him with you

Answer 10

you really need to b a gd friend to him at a time like this,remind him ur here for him,a good trustworthy friend really is something he will appricate.get him to confront his issues and talk to a professional about them,but always stick by him. hugs guys. lts of luck xx :)