I am 21 years old. I have been holding in my feelings and emotions for a very long time. I have been suicidal and I wish I never told my mother Thursday night. She told me that only dumb white folks commit suicide (I'm half n half...). She also has a tendency to "sell my business". I'm 21 and I still get grounded. She grounded me because I have my own P.O. Box (that I rented with my own money) and she flushed my key, which I have to pay $10 to get another one. My sisters keep on tellin her that I still speak with psychic readers (which I did a year ago because I am into prophecy) and they're filling her head with more bs. Its taking a toll on me. I can barely work. I told her I'm gettin an apartment this summer and she said that I can't and they will take the car away from me. She took my cell phone and she tells people that I am an up and coming Hip Hop artist, but I am not allowed to record. True story. My friend's mom tells me I need to go and stay in a shelter. Should I leave??
2007-04-21 18:32:06 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh no. Get out fast. Stay with somebody who will respect that you are GROWN . I wish the best for you.
2007-04-21 18:35:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can leave now, but will you be able to support yourself? A shelter can be a really scary place with no privacy. Too, most will limit the amount of time you can stay there. Can you earn enough money to rent an apartment in a few weeks? Probably not.
You don't say whether you are in school. If you are, saving some money will be more difficult. Sit down and make a bare-bones budget, rent, food, transportation, cell phone, etc. Open a savings account at a bank in your own name. Work two jobs if you can. Working long hours will keep you out of the house and will help you reach your financial goals faster. Once you have enough money for three months' budget plus an apartment security fee, you should be safe to move.
Finally, and most importantly, you need to talk to someone about these feelings of depression. If you are in school, you will have counseling services on campus. Or you might talk to a minister. Even if you are not a member of a church, the minister will talk with you or refer you to someone who can help, or you can look in the phone book for "Mental Health Services." Tell them your situation and they can refer you to someone who will work with you for free or with a reduced fee.
You can find the strength to make changes. It will be hard, very hard, but you can do this. One step at a time.
2007-04-21 19:10:54 · answer #2 · answered by smallbizperson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should leave but when is the important question. Sorry to hear about all the drama but I would suggest that you make a choice to stop being a victim. It's so easy to play play the victim (the world against me) and the poor me card. But alot of us have myself included. It sounds like you have good friends what a blessing. Focus on the good stuff, watch a sunset or even a sunrise. Keep working and save some money to get out with a roommate if needed. I wouldn't go to a shelter atleast you have a home now. Take the steps that you need to take to get out within a reasonable amount of time and take control of your own life. Don't be blowing your money on psychic readers, you have your own "psyche" it is your own sense of yourself. Get away from prophecy, who cares what is going to happen tomorrow or a year from now you won't be able to do anything about it anyway leave it to the so called scholars. It can be a terrible addiction. Focus on what is happening today.
2007-04-21 18:44:50 · answer #3 · answered by Rebecca S 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, sounds to me that you need to get out of there screw the car i will tell you something lives to short i kinda went threw something like you i left home when i was 15 16 i lived on my own at the age of 19 i bought my first house and no its not a junker its a beatifull 3 bedroom house I am now 20 going to be 21 AND still have my house, bought a new car i am a cargiver/ and dietary cordinator for elderly people and about to open up a daycare in a few weeks. And i also have a loving boyfriend. So girl its time to leave.... work hard in life and set your mind staright and you will get what you are looking for. I have lived just fine with out my mother for 4 years, yes its hard but live goes on. Good Luck and god bless you!
2007-04-21 18:41:12 · answer #4 · answered by princess 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
RUN - don't walk - to a women's shelter. Tell the counselor that you are being abused by the people you live with and explain about your mom. She is emotionally and verbally abusing you. They can help you, or at least tell you where you can go. If you really feel suicidal then you need to check into a psychiatric treatment facility to get things cleared up.
You may even want to go to college or something. There are grants and scholarships to help cover the costs, and to cover dorm fees and food vouchers. I have a relative going to school on a full scholarship, and it isn't athletic or academic.
You have a chance to turn your life around. Go for it! Take control of it and get out of your bad situation and into a better one. Sound like it won't take much to be better. Good luck, and God bless you!
2007-04-21 19:11:21 · answer #5 · answered by Deedee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is treating you like a teenager again. I think you should move out immediately, because she is not going to change. She is stuck in the past. You are an adult and you can make your own decisions. You have to be more assertive. If you're getting an apartment, don't tell your mom. Simply pack up your stuff and leave. She can't stop you, as she has no control over what you do.
2007-04-21 21:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by contender569 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! I'm sure they would not look at you leaving to be the best interest. They would think they out-did you. But in reality this is exactly what you should do. At your age none of the family has a legal hold on you. Getting your own p.o. box is none of their business. Unless that car is in her name, she can not take this car from you, even if it is in her name, as long as you can prove by check & etc, they can not take it from you.(GET A SECOND SET OF KEYS & HIDE THEM. If this business is your and you hold 50% of the stock, she can't touch it.Find yourself a place, even if it not what you would normally live in, it would be worth it to have peace in your place.
And then do not allow them to know any of your business
and do not visit them. Get the cell phone back, it's your's.
2007-04-21 18:49:08 · answer #7 · answered by NJ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I advise you to move out now while you can. You are a grown woman and should not have to take that from anyone. I think your mom is having issues dealing with the fact that you are an adult and that she shouldnt be able to control you anymore and she is trying her best to keep it in a way that she can control you. I seriously would move out. What is she going to do if you do? Call the police on you? They will just laugh at her.
I wish you the best of luck with this issue!
2007-04-21 18:44:01 · answer #8 · answered by Katherine S 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
one thing youre not a little kid anymore okay, plus you need to stand up yourself and choose what ever you want in youre own life ? youre mom need to not treat you alike a baby over again either you arent a baby anymore. you understand you need to tell her to stop treating you alike that and you also need to do the right thing for you not having youre own mother raising you and telling you something that you arent feeling alright with this whole things . taking something that it not hers at all. you got youre own mind and voice to use . you dont want her to raise you alike that youre whole life its not good thing to do . sound alike she isnt no good mother and taking youre cel phone ,etc. away from you . plus gosh i cant believe that she had grounded you because you told her that you found a apt for youreslf. . you need also tell her that youre already adult can choose what u like to do in youre way. so i think you shouldnt listening to her anymore . if youre happy to get a job and planning to move out there and live yourself in a own apt then go headed move out and get youre cell phone back from her then, pack youre own things up move out and if you dont want her knowing where you live or have youre cell # then dont tell her what is it and if youre going change youre cell phone number , dont even tell her where you going live at. cause if you do that she will wont let you do the things you want in youre life. man, youre 21 right then youre adult so that if you move out then youre mother cant do nothing cause if she call the police department about you re age then they cant even do nothing about cause youre adult not a young kid . well i think you should ask youre friends if they can let you stay over their place til you get youre own place . plus you should also ask if youre friend wanna move together become roommaties, and you should find a aptment where its little far away from youre mom house . so she wouldnt walk to youre place and start knocking the door during the early morning. if she does that you can call the police on her for hasseing you or you can tell the police officers that yourw own mother wouldnt leave you alone . they do can do somethign about that.
2007-04-21 19:04:57 · answer #9 · answered by statecalifornia2009 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well if the car is in your mothers name she can take it from you. You need to see if you can buy it from her if it is in her name....if the car is in your name then she cannot take it. Just try to get the car squared away first b4 you move....you will need that transportation.....if she refuses to sell to you, then see if you can find one on your own...so this will mean that you have to save, save, save.....but it is something that she cannot take away....don't let her co sign for you...hopefully you can find a car from a private individual and not need a loan. I think you may need to move out....just try to keep things as calm as possible.
2007-04-21 18:40:07 · answer #10 · answered by mrs_endless 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Putting aside who is right n wrong, if it will help you to have a clearer perspective n peace, move out, whether for good or for the time being. Think through carefully what you really want n what is really good. speak to trustworthy adults about this.
2007-04-21 18:37:40 · answer #11 · answered by hazelnut 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋