I can't find an answer?

Question

No matter whom I ask -- and I've asked at least 3 priests, 2 theology teachers, and all of my catholic friends -- I cannot find someone who will answer this question. I've had this question for nigh on six years now, but every time I ask someone, they always say "Oh, that's a good question." or change the subject immediately.

So my question is this: Why does the Roman Catholic Church let infertile/sterile heterosexual couples marry and have sex if homosexual couples cannot do the same?

I guess it would be different if the couples didn't know they were incapable of bearing children (especially given the abstainence until marriage bit), but it is ok to marry knowing that you're incapable of bearing kids, and ok to have sex knowing that. So it doesn't make any sense to me to say that gays can't marry because marriage allows sex, which must (according to the RCC) contain the elements of love, a consentual act, and be open to the possibility of conception. I mean, marriage isn't just

about sex, it's about love, so why are two men or two women less able to love each other than a man and a woman? And if sex isn't open to contraception in a straight couple's interactions, why should it be a requirement for gay couples?

Like I said, not one person has answered me in six years, and all I want is an answer. We may not agree, but I want to understand other people's points of view, and I do not at all intend to insult or belittle your views. I mean this with all due respect.

God's Kitten --- the Bible is not against homosexuality. As it's explained right there in the new testament, Sodom & Gomorrah were destroyed because the people there were inhospitable. Why would God hate homosexuality if he created homosexual animals too? I'm not saying God made a mistake, I'm saying it's a mistake to call homosexuality a sin -- it harms no one, unless of course one is slutty about it, just as in heterosexuality. I was born like this, I know, and can't've been corrupted because I didn't even know other gay people existed until I was 14 because I was so sheltered.

Slathered-in-sauce-sarcas--- I can understand there being a real need for procreation in ancient times, but now there's not a pressing demand for it... especially since gays are only 10% or so of the population. And the world is overpopulated right now.

lbnrgwer... --- I am very sincere in looking for an answer. I really want to figure this out. Believe it or not, I'm a Catholic high school student, and

this entire quarter's curriculum is JPII's TOTB. And guess what, we just watched Christopher West's video in class two days ago. Don't believe me? Search back through my Q&A and you'll see. I'm telling you the flat out truth... NOT ONE PERSON WILL GIVE ME A FRIGGING ANSWER, whether it's "one I want to hear" or not. I "want to hear" any answer they'd give me, not silence.


exodust20 --- There are a lot of other rules in the bible that are now defunct, including those regarding war, women, and other very important contemporary issues. Maybe they were ok for ancient times, but the world is different now, and we should treat people with respect, period. That's the entire point of the bible (which, by the way, does not say that homosexuality is a sin. How is it a sin to love someone?)

Answer 1

I I am not Roman Catholic, so I do not know the doctrine of the Roman Catholic faith. I can only answer as a Christian. Holy Matrimony, not just a civil union, is an rite of the church where a man and woman are joined (in the eyes of God). It is a covenant with God, just as God's covenant with Adam, and God's covenant with Abraham, and God's new covenant through Christ. The authority of granting this covenant has been handed down through the church and must be preformed by a priest or clergy that has been authorized by the church. With this binding comes certain gifts (blessings) and responsibilities (the details would be found in the church doctrine as it can vary from denomination to denomination). Children are not guaranteed in this binding, but children born under this covenant do receive benefit from it.

Holy matrimony is a covenant between God and a man and a woman, not a brother and sister, not a man and a man, not a man and his sister-in-law. Holy matrimony can only be dissolved by the church, not some divorce court, and only under specific circumstances.

Civil unions (marriage by a Justice of the Peace, Judge. etc. and common law marriages) are a legal binding of two people (a man and a woman) in the eyes of the law. They can be dissolved by a divorce court, just like court of law can dissolve a legal partnership. Presently the law excludes gay couples from civil unions. That can be changed with legislation, but church law cannot.
Through the ages, holy matrimony has also been viewed as a legal union of a man and a woman, but churches do not have to recognize a civil union as holy. They may seem the same, but they are not. One is a rite of the church and one is a law of the government. Holy matrimony is not just for procreation, it goes much further than that; and children are not guaranteed.

I apologize for the lengthy answer, but it is a complex question and deserved a detailed answer. Please feel free to print this out and discuss it with your priest or pastor. I am not a clergy person, but I have also had questions like this and searched for the answers as well. I have been married for over thirty years and we found out much later that we were not able to have children. When we married, we were married in holy matrimony and "until death do us part" was part of our solemn vows. We don't believe they can be broken in a court of law. It isn't always easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is. I hope someday that the law will recognize gay marriages as civil unions, but the law of the land and the law of the church are two different things.

Answer 2

The entire theme of the Bible is the vindication of God's name and purpose by his Kingdom government with Jesus Christ as king. AND YET, the Bible clearly states that men who lie with men will NOT be able to inherit it (this kingdom government). However, if you also read the 2nd and 3rd scriptures here, you will realize that this is not the only thing that could disqualify you and certainly, you should not be overly criticised as one sin in these lists is equally as bad as another. Notice that 1 Corinthians says that even some apostles in Jesus' day had exchanged these practices for the new personality in immitation of Jesus. God would not condemn anything which could not be changed. Also, God knows how much you love him and how hard you are really trying to align your will with his. If, now, you truly have an answer, do the BEST you can--God expects no more, no less than that. Only he will know if you are doing it--no one else has any right to say one way or the other.
(1 Corinthians 6:9-11, Romans 1:28-32, Revelation 21:8)

Answer 3

Logic has little to do with religious beliefs or institutionalised religious dogma.
An exaggeratedly homophobic interpretation has been placed on some unclear texts in the Bible for example Lev 18:22 (the literal traslation of the first part of the text reads)
"And with a male you shall not lay lyings of a woman"
...nobody today can possibly know exactly what this means or what it actually refers to nor in what context it was meant to apply. To assume it is a condemnation of homosexuality per se is a huge assumption and a devastating one for so many gay people.

Answer 4

Because marriage is defined in the Bible as between man and woman. To say that homosexual couples are allowed the same God given gift, would be against what the Bible teaches, which is that homosexuality is immoral, so of course the church could not encourage people to sin, because that to would be a sin.

Answer 5

the only reason that makes sense for their not wanting homosexuals to marry is that they just can't wrap their minds around the idea of homosexual relations. They see it as - well - you've heard all the terms.

They can't come out and tell you that without appearing to be very UN Christian, so they stick to the line about marriage and sex being for procreation.

It's really all they have. Hopefully someday people will wake up to reality and embrace love regardless gender.

Answer 6

The only answer you'll get is that homosexuality is condemned in the Bible as an abomination. You won't get an explanation why, and you won't see anyone telling you why non-procreative sex is any better for infertile couples than for homosexual couples. It'll all come back to it being "against the Bible" and I'm sure a few will throw in "it isn't natural, they're sick perverts".

That'll be it.

I'm sorry.

By the way, I very recently attended a Catholic wedding (the first real Catholic wedding I've ever been to) and I was unprepared for the inclusion of a vow to accept children into their lives. I wondered if the priest would have presided over the ceremony if they'd told him they never planned to have children...

Answer 7

2 aspects to marriage are unitive and procreative within the context of marriage between one man and one woman.

With a man and a woman being married, just the fact that the man is made for the woman and the woman is made for the man, that alone accomplishes the unitive aspect of marriage.

Only a man with a woman can be truly united in a true and natural way because God made men and women's bodies in a way to complement the other.

I don't think you were sincere in looking for the answer because it's very easy to find if you would read Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body. Or read Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West.

You should have said that you couldn't find the answer that would tell you what you wanted to hear.

Read the Bible and see what Jesus had to say about how marriage should be when they asked Him about marriage and divorce.

Heterosexuals are called to be chaste and to live by the spirit and not by the flesh. And when we fail to live up to this, we say that we have sinned against God.

Why can't the people who call themselves "gay" be humble in this way instead of being too proud to admit it when they sin against God?

Why do the ones who label themselves as "gay" see themselves and other people as a sex objects and confuse love with unnatural lust?

The unforgivable sin is when someone refuses to admit it when they sin.

Edit:

Here is a website that might help you out:
http://couragerc.net/

The point I was trying to make is that heterosexuals (myself included) struggle with lust just as much as homosexuals do. In either case, one just has to be humble, try their best to be caste, and admit it when they fall short.

In the case of a Catholic, it means going to confession with the intention of not sinning again. If we are trying, there is not a limit to the number of times that God will forgive us when we repent of our sins.

Keep in mind that in Heaven, the struggle will be over because there is no sex in Heaven and no temptation to sin.
.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

An excellent question. And there is a reason that they refuse to answer you; it's because they're prejudiced.
The christian hatred of gays and lesbians has nothing to do with their book of bronze-age mythology, it's because they're not allowed to burn crosses and hang black people anymore.
They NEED someone to hate, and homosexuals are the last easy target for them.

Answer 10

God created sex for married couples. It is the way that "two flesh become one". It is also a way of emotional connection by showing physical affection. (that 2nd part is my opinion). Sex is not just for reproducing. Also God says in the bible that it is immoral to be homosexual. It is clearly wrong according to the bible. It is an "abomination". None of this is to insult anyone. All sins are the same.