I need help from some Christians?

Question

My husband is not a Christian! I am not asking him to become one and he is not asking me to become a muslim either. I just need to break the news to him on how i want things done in the house. He smokes and he drinks. I do not smoke and drink! We both swear alot and other sins i need not mention! I want to break the news out to him that I want a change. I beleive that since our house is full of sin that Jesus will not help us with our problems. Marrital problems that is!

I do not wany any more swearing, or drinking, or smoking, or other things in our house for 1 wk. I want to see how it helps our relationship any!

How do I break this news out to him!

P.S. I hide his ciggerates and his beer on him!

i asked him politely to stop smoking but he wont. Second he is not a violent man and im bigger than him =))

yo yo ma i was not a christian before i married him! and he will not talk to me about anything!

Answer 1

A Christian woman is suppose to love her husband and not change him. If you serve him and please him and pray for him you will be doing what God wants you to do. It is not up to you to change him. Allow the Holy Spirit to do that.

Answer 2

Wow ,Tina I have just skimmed through your previous Q&As. Sweetie, you are one very mixed up girl,about so many things besides the question regarding the situation here.
Before this situation really gets out of hand, I think you should contact a support network,a.s.a.p. and get some personal anger management counselling also relationship/marital counselling.
Make inquiries regarding appointments today!
I also suggest that until you are more adjusted that you avoid taking on the responsibility of care for others children.
What you did in that situation was just not acceptable by any standards.
Think of your childs future and please do something about changing your present lifestyle.
Your many problems go much deeper than the fact you feel your husband drinks and smokes too much and the house is full of sin.
Jesus is never going to magically knock at the door and say, "Tina, here I am to solve all your problems".
Girl it just doesn't happen that way.
If you want change (its obvious you desperately need it) then you will have to get professional earthly help. To face the real demons that you are so terrified of.
It appears you have the denial thing,well and truley happening,this is quite common.Its human condition to want to believe everything is someone elses fault and its they who need to change their ways.
It is much easier to deal with if you can fool yourself like that.
But your life and marriage will just keep spiraling out of control regardless,until you wake up.
Letting your life go on like this and believing that hiding his cigarettes etc will fix things.
That is the real sin here,can't you see that?
Reality check time,the problem is you,your attitude toward people and life added to that ,your denial that you could possibly be so very wrong about so many things!
The good news is you have a good man, as he is still around I am giving him that credit.
So be very grateful for that,and begin working on what you both agree are the most important issues affecting your lives today.
That means communication and truth.
Plus a commitment that you can recognise there is a desperate need for changes.
Tina,please wake up,get up and do something about your life and marriage, before someone perhaps an innocent becomes just another sad statistic.

Answer 3

Having dealt with an addict before (and make no mistake, cigarettes are addictive, and can drive a person to all kinds of madness to get to nicotene) I would say the thing to do is NOT try to control him.

Because it never works, trying to control another person's behavior. He needs to change because HE feels he needs to, not because ANYONE (not you or his mom or dad or siblings or best friend, etc) told him he should change.

Only when a person decides to make a change for him/herself is that change likely to be deep, real and permanent. It MUST come from within him. It cannot be forced, otherwise it is not genuine and would not last anyway. He might go a week or two and not swear, not drink, not smoke...but if it's not from deep within HIS OWN heart, if it's not something that was HIS idea, he'll wind up right back at it again.

So I don't think it has anything to do with Jesus. Don't treat Jesus as if he's a big magician in the sky that fixes everyone's problems. That's not what he came to do.

He came to show us how to live in accordance with God's will, totally fearless and in complete trusting faith.

He also came to show us how to throw off the shackles of oppression, how to stand up to the powers that be that would crush us, even if it means death.

"Jesus is Lord" is more than just a religious statement. It is also a social and political one. "Jesus is Lord" implies that "Caesar (and all that he and Empire stand for) is NOT."

Think on that a bit.

Answer 4

I am a Christian and I am surprised at how judgmental you are being. The Scripture "let he who is without sin throw the first stone" comes to mind. You already admit to committing "sins" of your own, so work on YOURSELF first! Most people don't respond to preaching or nagging, but rather to example. Make positive changes in your life and he'll probably notice. My husband IS a Christian who smokes, drinks and doesn't go to church. I don't nag him. Personally, I don't care what he does. He has free will and what he does is his choice. Jesus is perfectly capable of dealing with him without my interference. And guess what? We've been together nearly 20 years and our marriage is GREAT! Pray for your husband and work on YOU!

Answer 5

First Peter 3 says that "likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands that, if any not obey the word, they also may without the word be won overr by the conversation of the wives".
Now, that does NOT mean, wives be a doormat! It means you have a voice and as long as your words are in love you can simply tell him what you posted above. Then, and most importantly SHOW HIM the love of Jesus Christ THROUGH your actions. Ask Jesus to help you to try to stop swearing and anything else you may do as sin. Dont come off with an attitude though for him to start acting like you. Show him through love. When you ask Jesus for help he will guide you in timing and words to say to your husband. Your husband may be struggling jsut like you are and be afraid to talk to you!!! Read your Bible. IN FRONT of your husband. If he asks what you are doing, tell him you feel like u need to. Ask him question. Men need to feel needed and you have questions he just might be able toanswer. This will open the door between you two as well...

Are you saved? Do you read your Bible? Do u go to church?
Do you believe that Jesus is the Messiah? You can start by praying to Jesus....Ask him into your heart. Then ,when you are ready, accept him as your Lord and Savior. Find a good church and get baptized. You life will dramatically change.
Going to church together is awesome. Your man may be hiding behind his cursing and drinking and smoking just because he has fallen away from Jesus. Maybe this is asign for you to put both of your lives back on track.
Good luck and GOD bless both of you.....
Barbara
Satan will start attacking you as soon as you start doing anything that is pleasing to GOD. Just remember that GOD is always there for you through prayer and that through his love and grace and Jesus's death on the cross----GOD is victorious and you can be saved.

Answer 6

I keep hearing what you want what you want what you want.

Did Paul not say, pray and be christian in hopes that salvation comes through you to your husband. Pray for that first then seek other stuff. And seek to be less selfish, your husband probably wants things too.

Are you fed, clothed and warm'? you got a lot more than others.

Humility, comes first, been there done that. I've also seen God bless smokers and others.
Approach your husband in a kind way like you think Mary would have, not in a demanding way. Remember we all have free will and choices.

Answer 7

Be careful; he might take it violently. Maybe you could just suggest that you would like for him to stop smoking and drinking because you want him to live with you a long time. If you demand a change, you might get more of a change than you want.

Answer 8

A muslim that drinks alcohol. Oh deer.

Of course the scripture specifically forbids becoming yoked to a non-Christian, so from a Christian point of view you are reaping what you've sown. Since you are yoked with a worshipper of a false god and a follower of a false prophet you probably can't expect much household blessing from Jesus.

Of course I don't believe any of that crap and don't see why religion must enter into negotiating with your husband regarding drinking and smoking, etc.

Answer 9

This is not going to work the only thing that will work is YOU changing and being an example as unto Christ and your husband will notice the change in YOU and will want to get his life right with God! Here is the scripture to prove it I Peter 3:1-2

Answer 10

All the nagging in the world will not change your husband or his habits. It will only make him more stubborn and resentful toward you. Find yourself a Christian church and start studying the Word of God. Allow Jesus to change your heart toward your husband. Learn to forgive him. Don't control him. As Christian women, our roll is to pray for our husbands and not ostracize them. When he sees a change in you, then he may want to follow in your footsteps as you follow Christ. Until then, you are losing the battle. Believe me, I speak from experience and my husband after 8 yrs. has accepted the Lord. So never give up praying - just your present approach. Jesus loves you regardless of what kind of sin is in your home. He will hear your prayers and help you overcome your obstacles. You have to learn how to have faith in Him. The Bible tells us "faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God" That's the only way you can have heart faith. Your decision to get saved is the best & most rewarding decision of your life. Heaven is your home. God Bless You!

Answer 11

You actually think that if you make him stop smoking for a week, he's going to be focused on you? He's going to be climbing the walls. Maybe you should have realized all these things you dislike about this man, before you married him.