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I am an only child that was raised in single parent home where my mother was a really bad coke addict. My husband on the other hand had a terrific childhood with a really large famliy (13 in total). His parents put Brad and Angelina to shame because while my husband is their only biological child all the others they adopted from inner city orpanages. The problem isn't them it's me. I find myself getting jealous of how colse the all are with their traditions, and inside jokes, and natural chemistry they all have together. While i'm just reminded what a bad childhood i had and i can't help but feel a little stinging feeling inside of me. I get especially jealous of my husbands sisters who are 4 beautiful women each of either latin, black, or asian descent. It makes famliy dinners at his parents house miserable for me while everyone has a great time. Again none of this is their fault i just need to know why i feel this way and how i can get to stop? Plus i havent told my husband how i fee

2007-04-21 14:00:31 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

6 answers

Firstly, you need to talk to a professional, to help you work through the things that happened in your past. You find it difficult to cope with your husband's family because its outside your realm of experience, not because of what they do.
Do talk to your husband about this, he sounds like he might understand. Think, some of his brothers and sisters could have come from bad backgrounds too, and over the years his parents would have explained to him why those kids needed a different family.
Also talk to the in-laws, they seem to be the kind of people you could open up to.
And the last thing is you have to learn that YOU DO DESERVE TO BE A PART OF THIS WONDERFUL FAMILY TOO.

2007-04-21 14:30:52 · answer #1 · answered by Barb Outhere 7 · 1 0

Oh what an awful feeling to have. You must have a lot of anger and resentment built up from what you had to go through as a child. But the good thing is that you are an adult now and you are in charge of your own life. The only way you are going to be happy is when you put it all behind you. It sounds like you are in a wonderful accepting family. Take advantage of this. If they are orphans then they all have some odd background and they all have a different story to what happened in their lives. So do you. But they have some how found a place to let that all go and be with each other. You can do this too. you just have to let it all go. It will probably be really painful but your husband will be there for you.

2007-04-21 14:09:41 · answer #2 · answered by starynight39 4 · 1 0

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2016-10-13 03:46:08 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

Sweetie, realize that what you're feeling is jealousy, BUT it's justified because of the difference iin the childhood you had, and the one your husband had. First, you absolutely must be honest with hubby. Make sure he understands how fond you are of his family. Keeping this secret from him will only become a big wall between the two of you. Asking him to help you deal with this will bring the two of you closer and, if you choose to share with his family--it will mean that you will have their loving support. I give you my promise that they will ALL understand and want to help you. I PROMISE. None of them can help you if they don't know you have a problem and what that problem is. Good Luck, My Dear.

2007-04-21 14:23:55 · answer #4 · answered by MAGGIE MAE 4 · 1 0

Well life isn't fair. Look at it like this, you are now part of their family. If you walk around sad and bitter about your childhood, which you cannot change, you're going to affect your current relationship with your new family. Embrace it and be thankful you have the chance to be part of their life.

2007-04-21 14:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

It took me 5 years to step out of my own tainted ways of thinking and realize that my in-laws considered me to be a member of their family as well. Stop making excuses to not be close to your in-laws. Let them know that you are interested in some of the things that you have heard them talk about. They want you to be comfortable around them, they just can't understand that you have certain hangups right now that you need to get over. Just let yourself trust in some good people, in spite of the fact that you trusted your own mother for years and she alwys let you down. It feels great to free yourself!!!

2007-04-21 14:14:38 · answer #6 · answered by momfirst101 4 · 1 0

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