Ok this past week I went out with a girl and i thought we clicked but she calls me and tells me that she can only see us as friends and that im a very nice guy. Was that part of the problem? me being a nice guys?
2007-04-21 12:11:00 · 24 answers · asked by ggiro861 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think the problem is that the old saying "nice guys finish last" applies in our world. It saddens me to say it, because I'm generally a nice person myself. Apparently girls like the whole "bad guy" mantra because it's rebellious and rebellion is cool in our society. Anyone who is "nice" is generally viewed as either wimpy or weak with a soft spot.
In your case. I wouldn't sweat it because as there is another saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea".
2007-04-21 12:16:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweets, it's because us girls like a challenge. It's not that nice guys can't get the girl - they always end up with someone. Now is that someone the girl they really liked or loved? Sometimes yes, but sadly, other times no. Nice guys are very easy and open about their feelings. Girls like to go for that mysterious guy who never displays any affection, hoping to be the one to bring him out of his shell and have him wild for her and her only. Nice guys are often mushy, BAD BAD BAD, and talk about their feelings way too much/allow themselves to be a pushover for the girl that she can use at her disposal. Me telling a guy that he is "nice" simply means I cannot see him past a friendship level. Maybe on the date he said something corny, or was just too easy in letting me know that he liked me. Girls don't go for jerks, usually (jerk is a pretty bad definition) - they go for the ones that give them no time of day, because once he does, there is a feeling of power. Now in the beginning, it's all about the power. Once you're in a relationship, the games and power concept should (but at times don't - immaturities!) stop. When YOU give the girl the power by being super nice and basically a pushover (letting her get WHATEVER she wants, never being FIRM, not mean, with a decision you made that is final at some point just to please her), that is when the girl leaves you for a more serious-type guy. But once a girl deals with too many mysterious guys, they search desperately at age 30 for a nice guy. It's sad that young girls don't see this! By then, you should already have a wondeful woman who appreciated and cherished your kindness from the start and was not looking for someone mysterious. Don't change who you are or your niceness to accommodate a woman. If you are naturally nice, don't try to be the mean type just to get a girl. It's sad that lots of girls are searching for meanies, but many are looking for a kind gentleman like you. Patience sweets! She will come =D
2007-04-21 12:21:00 · answer #2 · answered by dbm517 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not all guys are like that. I know I'm not, but I have a really good friend who is. You can usually tell what a guy is looking for very quickly. Maybe you should look for decent guys at stuff like church events, bookstores, and the such. Go to places where you'd expect to meet the kinda guy ur looking for. Good Luck
2016-05-20 22:26:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls often say this to guys they just aren't comfortable with, and it is not always true. She may think you just aren't her type and she wants to let you down easy. Don't begrudge her for that. Most guys who complain about being too nice really are not that nice at all. They just have not been told the truth. I hope you really are a nice guy, then you won't be wandering around overheard by strangers as you mutter to yourself about nice guys always finishing last.
2007-04-21 12:19:51 · answer #4 · answered by momfirst101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice guys can and DO get the girl....but it has to do with your personality more than your niceness. People generally like to be around "exciting" people or poeple that have goals, ideas, inspirations, etc. If you're dull, you can be the nicest guy in the world and you will have a hard time. Also, self-confidence has a LOT to do with attraction. If a girl feels like you're not self-confident, it may be more difficult to maintain that relationship.
STAY NICE!!
2007-04-21 12:15:23 · answer #5 · answered by jeepguy_2x 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Continue being a nice guy, theres nothing wrong with that. Most likely she just doesnt have those certain feelings for you, that happens. And sometimes being a bad boy is a huge turn off. I like nice guys.
2007-04-21 12:14:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, it could be that she just doesn't have feelings for you - it's nothing against you. People can't really choose who they fall for - it just kind of happens. I'm sure that if you are a nice guy, there are lots of girls out there who will like you. Don't change who you are - the world could use more nice guys! Good luck! :)
2007-04-21 12:14:43 · answer #7 · answered by Fonzieo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is "girl speak" for saying that she thinks you are OK but isn't interested in you as a possible lover. Keep looking - there are over 3 billion human females on this planet - you are bound to find one that likes you for you, nice guy or not.
2007-04-21 12:14:55 · answer #8 · answered by Paul Hxyz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As sad and pathetic as it is there are many women that simply can't accept a nice guy. They want the excitement and perceived romance of a bad boy. I don't really understand it myself. I heard that speech many many times before I met my wife.
But in the end, it worked out. Just be patient.
2007-04-21 12:14:52 · answer #9 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with nice guys.
When she says you're a nice guy, that's something she's COMPLIMENTING. It means that she appreciated how nice you were when you last met, but that something ELSE didn't click for her.
Fear not. Girls love nice guys. Be that chivalrous guy who everyone's not only comfortable with, but can depend on. Be the nice guy, and you won't lose out.
2007-04-21 12:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by blurrrrrrr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋