Please correct the mistakes of my composition. Thanks!!!?

Question

────Can We Live A Life without a television
──In the fast-paced society, a wide range of high technology products making our lives more convenient fill with our daily lives, such as television, video game, computer, refrigerator, cell phone and so on. Among them, one of the most common technological products, undoubtedly, is television. Nearly every family in Taiwan has one or more televisions, as a result, television has a rather impact on our every life. Not only is television one of our leisure-time activities but also our good friend supplying us with a wide range variety of latest information and news.
──I think we can not live in the world without any television. Without a television, we will feel bored and have no joy and recreation; most important of all, we will lose vital sources of information as though we would live in the dark. Only selecting good programs and watching television in moderation can we prevent any negative effect that a television causes.
──Again, in conclusion, we fail to live a life without a television since it spices up our lives, playing a quite important and indispensable character in our daily lives.

Answer 1

In the fast-paced society, a wide range of high technology products ARE making our lives more convenient AND fill our daily lives, such as television, video gameS, computerS, refrigeratorS, cell phoneS and so on. UNDOUBTEDLY, one of the most common technological products is THE television. Nearly every family in Taiwan has one or more televisions, AND as a result, television has HAD a rather SIGNIFICANT impact on our every DAY life. Not only is television one of our leisureLY activities, but IT IS also our good friend, supplying us with a wide variety of THE latest information and news.
──I think we cannot live in the world without any television. Without television, we will feel bored and have NEITHER joy NOR recreation. Most important of all, we WOULD lose vital sources of information AND live AS THOUGH WE WERE LIVING in the dark. Only BY selecting good programs and watching television in moderation can we prevent any negative effectS that a television MAY cause.
──In conclusion, we fail to live life without television BECAUSE it spices up our lives, AND playS a quite important and indispensable ROLE in our daily lives.

(Hope that's helpful)

Answer 2

Can We Live Life Without Television?
In the fast-pace of society, a wide range of technology products make our lives more convenient, such as television, video games, computers, refrigerators, cell phones and so on. Among them, one of the most common, undoubtedly, is television.
Nearly every family in Taiwan has one or more televisions. As a result, it has a great impact on our daily lives. Not only is television one of our leisure-time activities but it supplies us with a wide variety of information and news.
I believe we cannot live in a world without television as, without it, we may feel bored and have no joy or recreation. Most important of all, we could lose a vital source of information. Only by selecting good programs and watching in moderation can we prevent any negative affect that a television might cause.
In conclusion, television spices up our lives, playing an important and indispensable role.

Answer 3

Can We Live A Life without a television
──In the fast-paced society, a wide range of high technology products make our lives more convenient, such as, televisions, video games, computers, refrigerators, and cell phones. Among them, one of the most common technological products, undoubtedly, is the television. Nearly every family in Taiwan has at least one or more televisions. As a result, television has a rather large impact on our every day lives. Not only are televisions one of our leisure-time activities, but also our good friend. They supply us with a wide range of the latest information and news. (You might want to list several reasons you think they are our friends ,...ie watch when bored, loney, for human connection, etc.)
──I think we cannot live in a world without any television (you may want to revise to take out the word I - possibly use society). We will feel bored and have no joy and recreation; most important of all, we will lose vital sources of information. (taking us back to the dark ages of newspapers). Only by selecting good programs and watching television in moderation can we prevent any negative effect that a television causes (you might want to delete this sentence as it starts a new topic).
──In conclusion, we would fail to live a life without a television since it spices up our lives, playing an important and indispensable role in our daily lives.

Answer 4

Can We Live A Life without a television?
──In the fast-paced society, a wide range of high technology products making our lives more convenient fill with our daily lives, such as television, video games, the computer, refrigerator, the cell phone and so on. Among them, one of the most common technological products, undoubtedly, is the television. Nearly every family in Taiwan has one or more television, as a result, television has impacted on our lives.
Not only is television one of our leisure-time activities, but also our good friend supplying us with a wide range variety of latest information and news.
──I think we cannot live in the world without television.
Without a television, we will feel bored, but importantly of all, we will lose vital sources of information.
Only by selecting good programs and watching television in moderation can we prevent the negative effects that a television can cause.

──To conclude, if we fail to live a life without a television (since it spices up our lives), simply it is playing an important and indispensable part in our daily lives.

Answer 5

It would take some time to go through your manuscript. What I recommend is to print the manuscript, study it, and cut and trim away the fat and the redundancies.

Your first sentence needs revised to remove the duplication of the word 'lives.' I'd change it to:

In our fast-paced society, a wide range of high technological products makes life more convenient. Some of those products that affords easier living is television, video games, computers, refrigerators, and cell phones, to name a few.

Work with the remainder until you are satisfied you have removed the unnecessary and added the important.

Answer 6

Okay, First line make chicken - chickens. It is plural as you are talking about more than one chicken! Also in the first line change its to their as you are talking about something in particular and not an item. Again in the second line change chicken to chickens, this is very important throughout as it sounds like you are saying there is just one chicken in the world! Not good! Also change who are living to who live. This cuts down the words and makes it less clumsy. In the fourth line, second word change or to and because both these things happen not one or the other. Also in that line say spending rather than spend as you are talking about more than one again! After suffering in the fourth line delete and receiving as it's not needed. Also they are not receiving the light! When you say this type of life is bad for chickens - can you think of another word than bad. Of course it's bad, that's apparent from you using suffering previously. You could say you find it ethically incorrect or unmoral. Bad just sounds really wrong and poor English. The line beginning with cage - you have spelt hundreds wrong, change. In the line also changes spaces to space. This line "you may feel overwhelmed as chicken feel" is wrong and awkward. Perhaps you could write and you may feel too overwhelmed and claustrophobic. In the line beginning Fortunately add a comma after fortunately and hand to break up the sentence. Also change: "This chickens live in fields where they can roam freely." to "These chickens live in fields where they are free to roam." Also where do you get they play football - that is totally strange! What chickens play football! Put they are free to lay eggs as they please and have the space to spread their wings. In the sentence: "Some people can say that free range eggs are more expensive from the ones that are not free range" change to "some people think that free range eggs are more expensive than battery-caged birds." Also change "If everybody who buys eggs, they bought free range eggs, sellers would stop bringing up chickens in cages and they would spend their money on looking after them in fields" change to: "If everybody who buys eggs bought free range, sellers may be pushed into stopping the battery-caged lifestyle of chickens." Also your last sentence "In conclusion, it is better buying free range eggs in order to improve chicken lives." It would be better to say that you believe it is better to buy free range eggs as not everyone will have the same view, despite your argument. Good luck!

Answer 7

I don't feel like reading this whole thing, but your last paragraph has the world lives too many times.

Answer 8

People pay me to edit their writing. Why should I do it for free? Take responsibility for your own education. Do your own work.

Answer 9

Oh, come on!

Is that your feckin home work!

DIY