working mothers? To work or not?

Question

Should I work and put my 2 kids in day care. They are only 1 or shall I stay at home until they are at least 11. I don't want to work but the money is great but Im scared I might loose my bond with my twins. My mum was a working mother and I always think if she was there and actually picked me up from school and took the time to look after me we would be closer. What do I do? And by the way with daycare costs for twins I have a feeling the money may just balance off

Answer 1

My husband and I went rounds about this. I had a job that would just balance the daycare bills too. I chose to stay home because my mother stayed home with me. I think working would have been easier. It's hard being a stay at home mom. If you really love your job, don't give it up. You might not find another you love later. If you're not crazy about your job, try staying home for a while. You can always go back to work.

Answer 2

I am not a working mother (sorry!) but I wanted to share my view. My husband and I also looked into the cost of daycare as a "worst case scenario" if we couldn't get by on one income. It is extremely expensive. We found we would actually bring home MORE money if I only worked 20 hours a week than we would if I worked full time and paid for daycare! In the end we were able to get by just fine on one income so it wasn't an issue. I plan to stay home until my youngest starts the first grade.

My mother was a stay at home mom until my little sister started the first grade. At that point she re-entered the work force at about 30 hours a week. She was still able to see us off to school in the mornings and she was always waiting at the bus stop when we came home. Since she was gone all day, she did have to do her shopping in the evenings as well as the house work. But we all pitched in and things worked out just fine. I have a great relationship with my mother!

Answer 3

i'm a stay at home mum myself but i'd also love to go back to work! My theory is wait til they start school or at least funded nursery then get a part time job, thats what i'll be doing! If ur single (or even in some circumstances if your not) you can get a lot of help from tax credits & they won't let you change to it without making sure your not losing any money! They will always top u up on top of your wages to AT LEAST what u get now! It will be hard at first but isn't everything in life (like having kids for example!) Oh and as for the bond i think 5 years of spending every waking hour with them is good enough time for a bond, my daughter is 3 now & we have a great bond, if you only have a part time job you are still going to be with them for at least half a day! Good luck with your decision mate xx

Answer 4

I stayed home with mine until they were 3&4 I thought I was so ready to go back to work. You know adult conversation having a life and all that. But then after a while I really missed staying home with my kids. Now I have to work but would love to stay home again if it was financially possible. I say stay home as long as you can. We always think the grass is greener on the other side until we get there. You are a mother so you will always feel guilty about something. It's A mothers curse. But I'll take it anyday over not being a mother at all.

Answer 5

It is very hard as a mother to leave your children in the care of others. I have 3 children, 1 is in kindergarten and the other 2 are 2 1/2 and 3 1/2 I just put them in daycare this week. I was shocked and suprised as to how well they are doing! They both are girls.. and very close in age.. born on the same day just one year apart.. maybe they should have been twins!! I can tell you that this week was harder on me than it was on them! They loved it! They had fun playing with the other children since they were limited to playing with each other. I couldnt believe how much they learned in only a week. it was also nice for me to get a break even though I found myself twiddling my thumbs.. trying to think of something to do. my advice is to give it a try.. even for a week.. but try to make it through the entire week.. i bet you will be ok by the third day.

Answer 6

I think you should stay home with the twins. I have a 1 yr old that I was thinking about putting in daycare, but after all the stuff you read about daycares I'm scared. So I think you would feel better if your kids are with you.

Answer 7

If you can afford it than stay home with the kids at least until they start school. Then find a job working the same hours the kids are in school. That's what I do. I have always been there for them before and after school. My boss lets me take off for holidays or when they are sick.

Answer 8

oh honey, please please please stay home with them. or at least work evenings when your hubby can be home with the babies- thats what we have done since our son was born, and he is 3.5 yo. It honestly almost makes me cry when I think about "what if" I wasnt able to stay home with him. we are soo not rich- we have cut waaay back on expenses - no longer have dish or cable tv, no caller id, no cell phones etc. but its about our childs well being. so much you would miss, not just the 1st step, or 1st tooth etc, but the everyday stuff, the immense trust & bond you would miss out on. Not just that, but my kid (again, 3.5yrs old) has been sick 2 x his entire life- and both were mild colds (daycare is full of germs) AND he is the HAPPIEST, most secure kid I know. Im not just bragging, but I can see a 99% difference in him & his same-age cousins that go/have always gone to daycare.

PLEASE for your childrens sake, stay home. its only a few short years before they are in school for good.

Answer 9

Your twins are only babies once and they need their mom,,, what is money compared to being there for their first steps, words,, etc.??? having children forces you to make changes in your life,,, I was a stay at home mom and I wouldn't change it for all the money in the world,,,, in the end are you going to say " gee so glad i made all that money" or "gee was so glad i was there to be my kids mom"

Answer 10

If you can afford to be a stay at home mom then go ahead and stay at home. I have been working since my son has been 3 and he is 12 now. I can not stand it but I have to work beasue it is just us, you can still bond with them and do things with them right after school you just have to work things out in your schulde, which can easier said then done. But if you can afford to stay at home then do it, if you can't then you will have to go to work but just look around at different day cares to see which one would be cheaper and benfit you.