Should I stop dating for now?

Question

I've had some rocky relationships and I am wondering if it is better for me to take some time off from seeking a relationship. I want a relationship now but maybe because I want it too much it won't happen. How do I deal with this should I keep putting myself out there or take some time off? I'm 25 years old- I have no problem getting dates but I've been in only one serious relationship for a year which was riddled with problems. I had 6 -- 4 or 5 month relationships. And some 1 month relationships. I don't feel a sense of any of them being normal I always tend to feel that they are psycho but I feel that I'm pretty normal. I go to law school and I have my own apartment in New York City. I don't do drugs but I drink a fair amount. I have alot of family issues unresolved. I don't have any male friends. I thank you for any suggestions.

Answer 1

It won't hurt to take a break and clear your head. take some "shawn" time. When you stop looking she will find you. Just wait and see who shows up.

Answer 2

that's complex.
For many years I had no use of male friendship. That was partly because when I feel horny I simply have no interest in sharing time with males, and partly because my family and life experiences taught me that many relationships are based on emotional or other types of dependence and that trusting someone can be a mistake.
At the same time, we all constantly interact with other people, and sometimes isolation creates more problems than it solves.
Perhaps the answer for dealing with other men, and maybe people in general, is to realise that no-one is perfect. Everyone has stress, everyone has problems, everyone feels competitive, everyone has euphoria. You can get along with someone in some situations but not others.
Don't forget "a healthy mind in a healthy body". We all need some downtime and some privacy but avoiding exercise is a sure way to sink into depression. You can walk, run, swim, play badminton....anything. It's a good way to have friendly acquaintances without ever needing to become more involved. If necessary, just say "Thank you, but I am only here for the sport." Some may feel offended but most won't.
Romantic relationships are something else. It would be too simple to ask you if you wish to become deeply involved now or to wait until you finish studying but there is the issue of whether you have time and energy to spare. For example, if you feel a little stressed about getting through the studies or the amount of effort needed you may be unconsciously holding back from emotional commitment. That might explain the drinking.
Family issues is a tough one. Time, and financial security, will help.
Lastly, the "psycho" thing. Have you ever had the experience of holding a door open or giving up your seat? For old people or a pregnant woman or someone carrying a load? Well, that's all there is... that's what a man does. Females know that, and because it's normal they quite reasonably come to expect it. In every facet of life.
Of course, you have the option of deciding that you aren't going through that door but you still have to open it for her and you better keep an eye out for when she's coming back through!
It's worth noting, also, that females don't always think in a structure that men use. It's called Estrogen.
She might choose you because of the path you are walking, but she will expect you to set a comfortable pace.
I guess you could consider the option of paying for sexual relief until such time as your workload eases. Otherwise try internet dating or some other way of forming relationships slowly. A way to weed out partners before becoming intimate.
That took 45 minutes. Oh, and I assumed you are male.

Answer 3

I always think that dating as much as possible is good for everyone. Because even it is a month relationship, you get to know a different person. This will gradually adds up and when you get to choose your husband, you become someone who knows what a good husband and dad for your kids will be. I won't suggest you to stop dating but you should consider dating twice. Every time think twice in this world. If you think that the guy that you want to date can add you something or give experience, then go for it. But if you just date to not be alone and have a male strength by you, then you should think about it.

I think you shouldn't worry about because you are a successful girl and nice, so there are people who can't find anyone even they are nice and successful. Everyone is a beauty itself, you know how to show it and deal with it. Just think about yourself as precious star and just stay with that.

Other than that, stop dating can be good to learn who you are. If you live alone, then just try to enjoy "yourself". I am pretty sure that you have that capacity and the entertainment/skills to imply it to yourself. Just follow your instincts.. They are one of the most reliable thing in this world.

Have a nice day/night.

Answer 4

It sounds like you need to take some time to yourself. You should have girls to go out with As FRIENDS only. When you are ready for a relationship, you will know.

I did that. I took a couple of years off and only had guy friends. That meant no physical relationships either....... Most guys thought that friends with benefits would be fun. That is not for me. Friends only. It was much better for me that way. I got to know me better and I resolved some of my own personal issues that way. I actually had one guy friend for most of that time.

We have now started dating this past November. It is so much better to become friends first. We have known each other almost two years as friends. It is fun to date him. He is morally what I want, kind, of Christian faith, he has so many attributes that I love about him. It is so much more meaningful to get to know someone slowly and as friends withouth something physical getting in the way of emotions. We chose to keep it that way. We know it is more real this way.

We neither drink nor smoke. If you feel that your drinking a fair amount is getting in the way, or that you hide behind it, you need to take time to find out why you do this.

My prayer for you is that you find your self through God's peace. He helps me everyday. I pray he gives you the wisdom and courage and strength you need to carry on as you need to. Hugs to you.

Answer 5

Why do you date psychos and why do you drink a lot? Maybe you should take care of yourself first and focus on what's important to you. You said you have no problems getting dates so why worry? Just do your own thing for now, dating will always be there.

Answer 6

Yes, I deffinetly think you should take some time off and get your unresolved stuff out of the way so that you have more room and time and energy to really work on a relationship.

Answer 7

I am in the same boat. only i am a girl. I been trying to find someone for 2 years after my 2 year relationship ended. Its just not so easy and my family has had problems too. but You just got to find someone who is in the same place you are and gets you.

Answer 8

It might be a good idea. First, stop looking for love. It will naturally come. Focus on school, etc...question: why don't you have any male friends? you may want to change that, it could help you.

Answer 9

If you're still ready for realtionships ..keep dating ..
If you feel that you don't feel like it now just stop
It depends on what you want ..
Not what you should do ..

Answer 10

ya get a dildo.. it will never talk back.. or let you down.... and when you need Mr happy.. he will always be there to fill your needs on a lonely night.. and no strings attached.. only if you tie it on a string.......... to go deep with out losing it