My girlfriend got drunk with a guy and cheated on me while i am out in Iraq. In the service if a girl is drunk and you have sex with her it is considered rape and the drill in our head never to do it. I told her that if i call the investgators that all she has to do is tell the truth of what happened. I said she can choose to tell them the truth or it is over between us. So she chose to save this guys career over our relationship, which means to me that his career means more to her then what we have. What do you think about the situation and what should i do?
2007-04-21 08:18:21 · 13 answers · asked by n0tsan3 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Every person that is saying that the cops should not be called because she was drunk think about this... What if i were drunk and beat her? Would you be telling her not to call the cops because I was drunk?
2007-04-21 10:31:58 · update #1
She's not worth wasting your time on. I don't think intoxication is any excuse to cheat. People use that way too much. She knew what she was doing and she chose to do it anyway. If she cared about you she wouldn't have been that drunk anyway in that type of situation. She's just trying to walk all over you with her excuses. once a cheater always a cheater and I would just let her be with him. She obviously already made her choice. move on and find someone who will treat you right. sorry it happened
2007-04-21 08:24:45 · answer #1 · answered by blessed mommy 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Here's a thought you may not have considered.
What if your girlfriend is so ashamed of what happened she does'nt want to create any more attention towards her?
That could be the other reason why she is doing this.Try asking her that before assuming things.It is always best if you want answers to confront the person you want answers from.Only she knows what's going on in her head none of us know.We as outsiders can only speculate on the matter.I have found through experience you find the best answers in approaching the person you want answers from.
Since she is your Girlfriend you would think you would know her best and would be able to figure if she's telling you the truth or not.If she told you this there is a reason behind it as well.This is a tuff situation but if you truely care for her you can get through this together ,if you see a reason to continue on.
Remember no one is perfect and many people make mistakes.i am not condoning her behavior and all!But if you truely care for her there are other choices to consider not just one or two.I believe that if you do care for her and feel a reason to continue on then you will look for other ways to get through this together.I sure hope this helps you some.
2007-04-21 08:37:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Four years is a long time. She's been with you since she was 14. She feels like maybe she wants to be sure you're the right person for her by dating others. At the same time, I think you should do the same. She can't expect to have others and make you stand in the corner watching. Who knows? You might find someone else, or she will realize you're also doing what she's doing and that would make her realize she doesn't like it. Would also help her understand how you feel too. Do you go to clubs with her every time just to make sure she doesn't cheat? That's wrong. Not on your part but hers. You shouldn't be "forced" into watching her "grind" other guys. Talk to her. Ask her if this is really what she wants and if she says yes, then you go off and do your own thing. "Grind" other women in front of her and see what she feels about it. It might make her change her mind and decide to stick with you. OR it might piss her off and make her go further to get back at you. Her actions will give you the FINAL ANSWER. Good luck.
2016-05-20 04:23:44 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow! When I started to read this, I was shocked. I'm a girl by the way. Well the same thing happened to me. Me and my boyfriend have been in a long distance relationship for 7/8 months ever since August 2006 and we were serious, like marriage and stuff. We are together now living with each other and it's been almost 9 months total. Well anyways, November of 2006, I flew down to see him and I stayed with him for a week and then flew back home. During my stay down there, I was hanging out with him and a few of his friends, drinking. Well him and 2 of his friends left to go to his other friends house and left me and 1 of his friends at the hotel together drunk as ****. He had sex with me and honest to god, I DO NOT remember any of that night whatsoever. That's all I could say but I never after that, got too drunk to where I would make a stupid mistake like that again. I love him very much and I would never do that if I was sober. He forgave me. But come to find out after that, he had cheated on me with a girl 3 different times. So whatever! Our relationship is really bad. Honestly, I don't know your girlfriend but I doubt she meant to do it if she was that drunk and I don't think she cares about this guys career more then y'alls relationship. I'd be the same way, it's just more **** started. You gotta go through court and EVERYBODY gets involved. Its a big disator. Take some time and think about it. How long have you guys been dating? Is this serious? Do you see yourself with her in a few years still strong? I know this is hard. My boyfriend cheated on me again January of 2007 and I caught him dead staring at a girl. He admitted to it too. Follow your heart!
2007-04-21 08:34:04 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If she has already made the decision definite.....then I suggest you call it quits with this girl. Being drunk (to what degree?) doesn't mean she was raped or that she did not want sex with the other guy. Perhaps it really is a case of her cheating on you. Sorry. I know you don't want to hear that.
Either way, she desired him or she won't follow through with what you suggested, speaks volumes as to her true feelings about you. Why waste anymore time and thought on her?
There are nice girls who would welcome your friendship and love....and not cheat. Or if raped, would press charges.
I wish you the very best and God bless you.
2007-04-21 08:30:09 · answer #5 · answered by Patricia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I love the fact that you tried to save her. That's real love but, sometimes if you get drunk with someone and they end up having sex, it's intentionality. She probably got feelings for this dude. You're all the way in Iraq defending our country and she does this. That's not cool. But, all in all, you did the right thing by dropping her a** like a bad habit.
2007-04-21 08:30:03 · answer #6 · answered by quietlady06 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You love her right? Then why did you make her choose? She would have hated that and thought you were so mean to her, it was probably the first/ one of the only time you've been angry at her. She would have felt threatened. She probably didn't mean to do what she did, as you said, she was drunk, she couldn't help it. She chose him over you because of the way you acted to her, sit her down and talk to her, say you were sorry about yelling or getting angry and that you love her and you didn't meant to be so judgemental and ask her for another chance, she probably didn't leave u coz she lives this guy, she left you because of the way you acted about it.
2007-04-21 08:31:29 · answer #7 · answered by Kate 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I agree with you. It seems to me that this girl cares more about this career of the other guy's than the relationship that you two have. I'd break up with her, and explain why (even the details and how it made you feel) you did, even if it hurts you to remember. For all we know, she could beg for forgiveness and then it'd be up to you to take her back. But for right now, I think you two should probably take a break to think things over. <3
2007-04-21 08:27:33 · answer #8 · answered by The Prep 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off dont tell her what to do if she does not want to tell anyone about this i dont blame her...second if i were her and you cornered me like that i'd leave you... and third she was drunk so you cant blame her for what she did people do stupid sh*t when they are drunk...and fourth her choosing not to tell has nothing to do with his career meaning more that what you have...
2007-04-21 09:40:26 · answer #9 · answered by brizy_bell 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think you should forget about her. if she got drunk and had sex with another man, and that is something you would never do to her, then you are too good for her. tell her that youve had fun with her but you feel like she doesnt care about you. if she really likes that other guy she wont care that you are breaking up with her. and in the meantime you kind find that special someone who is good enough for you.
2007-04-21 08:24:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋