What exactly is forgiving?

Question

If I forgive a person but never trust him again, never talk to him again & never forget the fault.. Is that any less forgiveness?

Answer 1

The phrase "forgive and forget" is not found in the Bible. However, there are numerous scriptures commanding us to "forgive" one another (Matthew 6:14; Ephesians 4:32). A Christian who does not forgive can reap bitterness and the loss of eternal rewards (Hebrews 12:14-15; 2 John 1:8). Forgiveness is a decision of the will. Since God commands us to forgive, we must make a conscious choice to forgive. This frees the forgiving one from the past. The "offender" may not desire forgiveness and may not change (Matthew 5:44). Ideally the offender will seek reconciliation, but if not, the one wronged should still make known their decision to forgive.



In some senses, it is impossible to truly forget sins that have been committed against us. We cannot selectively "delete" events from our memory. The Bible states that God does not "remember" our wickedness (Hebrews 8:12). God is all-knowing. God knows that occurred. However, having forgiven us, He treats us as if the sin had not occurred. God does not hold our sins against us. In that sense we must "forgive and forget." If we forgive someone, we must act as if that sin had never occurred. We remember the sin, but we live as if we did not remember it. Ephesians 4:32 tells us, "Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."

Recommended Resource: The Gift of Forgiveness by Charles Stanley.

Answer 2

What is forgiveness? My opinion on forgiveness is this: It requires an objective experience to really relate it into words. A definition of forgiveness is, um, well, not being mad at someone despite them giving you a reason to be mad at. So I guess forgiveness is temporarily ignoring the facts in order to act on a more, well, heavenly level. And I know you’re going to be thinking that’s a weird thing to say, but hear me out. If I said, forgiveness allows one to forgo the facts in order to act on a more justly level, well what kind of justice is it if forgiveness is involved? I think justice is the exact opposite of forgiveness, isn’t it? Because if there was forgiveness, there would be no justice. Justice means a punishment of some kind, some sort of retribution that rights the wrong, buts the criminal in its place, and does away with any sort of further or future calamity, at least in theory. But forgiveness, on the other hand, is sort of forgetting the sin, forgetting the crime, forgetting the punishment. Okay, perhaps not forgetting, but letting it go, “Scot free” I think is the expression. So, according to typical people’s thoughts or beliefs, isn’t that the way an angel acts? Total and complete forgiveness? So the truth of the matter is, should we be completely and utterly forgiving? No, I don’t think we should be. I think forgiveness to some extent is right and proper and very beneficial to us and society, but, I must say, we also have to judge, a little or a lot, a little I think for a person, perhaps a lot for society, but we must judge in order to think about the justice that needs to be delivered. And if its not in our right to judge, then I guess all we can do is forgive.

Answer 3

Trust is earned. Forgiveness has nothing to do with trust. People can forgive, however, they should never forget the fault. There are too many people who take advantage of people who continuously forgive everything. How can you make positive changes in your life if you let people take advantage of you all the time?

Answer 4

Forgiving & forgetting the past & press on toward the goal.

You can't trust someone unless they earn their trust again, by repenting & changing. But to cut off relations with some person out of spite isn't forgiveness. Just be wary around the person & forget about the fault. And get the OK in your spirit man about how to be toward that person. Pray for that person. If one meditates only on the wrongs others have done to them, then person is in unforgiveness. Instead pray for victory in their life.

Jesus forgave & forgot my sins. So? I need to the same toward others who have done me wrong.

Otherwise, I will get in trouble.

Answer 5

If you say that you forgive someone and them shun them, how do you think that is forgiveness?

True forgiving is just that - a pardon, an absolving, a letting go of the transgression completely. It is not as simple as not exacting revenge.

Answer 6

Oh, that's cool. It's like forgiving somebody for doing your wife. You have to be realistic about who's involved and all that but basically, you are free to tell this person "we can't be friends". That's not the same as attaching conditions, that's exacting a punishment for the deed.

Answer 7

I think thats not you really forgiving that for the person. If you forgive someone you should give them another chance. If the person has really done something awfull, you wouldnt really forgive that now would you?

Answer 8

Well. The bible says when we ask forgiveness of God, He puts our sins as far from us as the east is the from the west, and remembers them no more. That doesn't sound like what you're describing.

Answer 9

that is an interesting thought

i think to have really forgiven someone you have to be able to trust and respect them afterwards