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I was dating someone right when i found out my close family member had stage 4 terminal illness.. i acted real cold towards him and he broke up with me bc he couldn't take it.. i left him alone for a few weeks, but when they told me my aunt had 6 weeks to live i flipped out and sent him these crazy texts asking him for another chance.. then another family member passed suddenly and i flipped again.. basically lost 2 family members within 6 weeks.. i look back now and am so embarrassed.. is this at all normal. just honest answers, not mean ones please

before you guys beat up on him... he didn't know that my aunt was ill when we were dating.. he just thought i was cold for no reason

we were dating for about 3 months

2007-04-21 06:46:10 · 10 answers · asked by noway 1 in Health Mental Health

10 answers

Your reactions are perfectly normal for you. Everyone reacts differently to stress, death, and any other thing. You should explain to your ex bf why you were acting the way you did. If he still rejects you and says that you were crazy or whatever, then you will know that he isn't for you. If he is understanding and compassionate to you and gives you another chance, then I think you two really need to work on the communication part of your relationship.

I am sorry for your losses.

2007-04-21 06:58:07 · answer #1 · answered by Spyder 3 · 0 0

It is actually. You were probably in distress and that made you cold toward your boyfriend. Then when another family member died, you needed someone to talk to, so then you went to who you trusted the most: the guy who broke up with you.

It's okay and there is nothing to be embarrassed about.

Did you tell him about your aunt dying? What was his reaction? Did he give you sympathy or just thought you were lying?

Sorry if I'm being too nosy.

2007-04-21 06:55:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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2016-10-28 15:26:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

You poor thing! So sorry for your losses. Our mind works in mysterious ways, but I think your reaction was very normal. That was a terrible time for you. Just write or phone your friend and explain to him what you went through. If he cares for you at all, he will totally understand. If he doesn't, this isn't the guy for you anyway. Good luck with your situation, and take care of yourself!

2007-04-21 06:54:45 · answer #4 · answered by debijs 7 · 1 0

I think instead of freaking out, that you should lean on him for support! Don't ever think that he can't or won't understand unless he proves that to you! Explain and see how he is about it. Being cold towards him is the wrong way to go about it. Showing him that you have feelings, that you can hurt may be the thing you need to show him.

2007-04-21 06:56:03 · answer #5 · answered by karenhar 5 · 0 0

It's normal. He probably thought that you had no feelings for him, thats why he broke up with you. What you should've done is tell him about youre family member, and he'll understand why you were being cold to him.

2007-04-21 06:56:05 · answer #6 · answered by f4bulous1985 2 · 0 0

that was obviously a coping mechanism for you. shock and grief do funny things to us and we all react in different ways. dputing a wall up around us is quite a common reaction. i am very sorry for your loss, it is a lot to deal with. there is nothing to be embarrassed about it is perfectly normal behavior for when you are experiencing something so out of the ordinary. dealing with an ill loved one and death is no easy thing and there is no normal there is just how we cope. i deal with things in a similar way, it does not always have the best results but it is how i deal, i isolate myself and harden my heart. it is just a survival mode thing. just explain things to him and he should understand. best wishes.

2007-04-21 06:55:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

first, I think you should contact him and explain. even if he doesn't want to see you again, he deserves that much. I think your reaction was within normal range. it's hard to deal with the sudden loss of a loved one. perhaps you should consider grief therapy.

2007-04-21 06:52:18 · answer #8 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 2 0

Your boyfriend should understand the situation. If not, it is time to move on to a guy who really cares.

2007-04-21 06:52:56 · answer #9 · answered by Phillip 4 · 0 0

Have you told him that that was the reason maybe he will understand. Give it another try

2007-04-21 06:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by Pebbles 3 · 0 0

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