Okay my best friend ill call her kelly is dating my cousin for almost 3 yrs now and she desperatly in love with him she wants to marry him he wants to wait till the graduate college it been causing drama all year.It recently came to my attention from another friend of mine who is her roomate and a reliable source that kelly has stopped taking her birth control pills,using oil as a lub to try weaken condoms?, and has an ovulation test kit in hopes to get pregnant?
Only reason i have not said anything is because i think its a phase like the one she went through in highschool and i dont think using oil as a lube can really weaken a condom but i am concerned she might go to further lengths? I dont want to loose my best friend?
2007-04-21 06:18:42 · 14 answers · asked by Monica D 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
You need to tell your cousin. Oil based lubricants CAN cause problems with condoms. He deserves to know the truth. Tell him you heard this and ask that your name is kept out of it.
2007-04-21 06:22:12 · answer #1 · answered by iampatsajak 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
TELL YOUR COUSIN!
The right to reproduction (What she is praticing) swings both ways. He has a right NOT to have a child. She is probably lying to him about what methods she is taking to stop pregnancy.
Some people, mostly girls, go through a "I just want someone to love me" phase.
They are more in love with "Being in love" and measure thier 'worth" by how much other people love them.
She may just be in love with the idea of marrage, and a small child that will look at her with those "mommy is god" looks.
The only approach I can suggest is the independance approach. Strength is measured by independance.
Worth is measured by how much you can tough it alone.
Like, "hey hon, I'm a little worried about you." You are all into the marriage/mommy thing... but I know you are so strong, but you never let that strength out.
"I dont' want you to be lost where no one ever thinks about you as a person. You are so-so's wife or so-so's mommy.... and you are not YOU."
Get her out for some girl-power outings where you dis guys etc.
2007-04-21 06:29:37 · answer #2 · answered by There you are∫ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you could tell him but you are in risk either way. What I would recommend that for a starters you suggest to him to use male birth control pills. Give him an example or to about someone who you know who knows someone whose girlfriend did that to him.
If he didn't listen then Tell him like this. " Do you want to know a secret I know someone whose girlfriend is doing just that? And ask him what to do? Then ask him if he would guess who the guy is, then tell him that it is him.
Of course you have the running risk that the roomate is actually lying for some reason.
So think it over and be sure before you act.
2007-04-21 06:31:25 · answer #3 · answered by onoris_2020 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to tell your Cousin !! Remember this phrase! Blood is thicker that water ! You will go through many friends in your lifetime, but your family will be with you forever. What your friend is doing is wrong and not fair to your cousin. I also suggest that you talk to your friend and ask her point blank what her intentions are and tell her that children will not solve the problem of him not wanting to marry her right now ! A baby will most likely tear them apart permanantly ..... good luck!!
2007-04-21 08:08:12 · answer #4 · answered by Badkarma4me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really want to understand. Is this a case of not wanting to lose a best friend or not ruining ur cousin's future and ur friend's too.
if u're certain ur source of info is absolutely correct, u can face ur friend, confront her and ask her what she's up to. If u can't do this, then let ur cousin know what's up with ur friend so that he'll be careful and take the decision whether he wants a baby now or not.
2007-04-21 06:46:21 · answer #5 · answered by sholly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it were me, I'd let the guy in on the "plan." It may be a passing phase--but it may not pass fast enough and she may end up pregnant.
I would tell her that although I highly value our friendship and don't want to lose her as a friend, morally I feel that becoming a parent should be a mutual decision between both people and that my conscience won't allow me to go along with her deceit.
2007-04-21 06:24:54 · answer #6 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This "phase" might lead to your cousin having an unwanted child! What if she starts puncturing the condoms or something?!
You need to tell your cousin what's going on. Just ask him not to mention your name when he confronts your friend. If she asks who ratted her out, he can just refuse to tell her. He's the only one who has the right to be angry in this situation anyway.
2007-04-21 10:52:15 · answer #7 · answered by Shawn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, don't go and believe rumours.... it's bad enough that you heard it from someone...
Second, confront Kelly first, ask her if all the things that the other friend is saying are true.
Third, tell your cousin about the thing and let them sort it out, he has to know the truth. Its his right.
2007-04-21 06:30:13 · answer #8 · answered by arelente2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your cousin, now.
YOur cousin is not thinking clearly. If he cannot support a family, he shouldn't be having sex. Even if Kelly was taking birth control, that is no guarantee she won't get pregnant.
2007-04-21 06:28:08 · answer #9 · answered by helpfulhannah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, let your cousin know. It wouldn't be fair to him to leave him out in the dark. Babies should only plan to be concieved when BOTH of the parents are ready and willing to take on the responsibility.
2007-04-21 06:27:13 · answer #10 · answered by trollunderthestairs 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋