I am planning a surprise dinner/birthday party at an exclusive and extremely expensive restaurant for a friend that I have known since childhood(only because it his favorite restaurant). I don't have a problem with the cost. The problem is the guest list. I have had a person who I really don't want to invite to request an invitation. It is his cousin. I really don't care for the man, he is moody, critical and we mix like oil and water. Although he has had several gatherings and parties at his home, I have yet to see an invitation sent my way. I don't feel obligated to invite him but some friends say I should since he and my friend are rather close since he moved to the city we currently live in a few years back. Should I give in and let him come or should I ban him from the festivities?
2007-04-21 03:50:43 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If your friend knew of the party and asked that his cousin be invited, then I would honor that request. And I'd make sure that the cousin and I were seated at opposite ends of the table.
However, as this is a surprise party that you are hosting (and paying for), I think it was rude of the cousin to request an invitation. Just one more example of why you don't like him in the first place.
Tell him that you are sorry (even though you aren't) but the seating arrangements have been made and there is no room for him at the table. That's going to bother you, isn't it? If so, then bite the bullet and invite him. But make place cards, get to the restaurant early enough to put them out, and threaten the life of anyone who moves them.
2007-04-21 08:28:28 · answer #1 · answered by Tom K 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question asks how you should tell him no, but you do not indicate that he already is aware of the party. I would say just don't send the invite. While I understand he and your friend are close, from your description it sounds like you're not the only one he doesn't get along with and why allow a nice evening become soured with his behavior -- especially when it's in a public venue.
My cousin invited her husband's high school best friend to their 5 year anniversary out of the same pressures. He ended up drunk, surly finally punched another guest. This resulted in an arrest and charges of assault. I gave her the same advise I'm giving you...let's see if you follow it. lol
Good luck. I know this isn't an easy situation for you!
2007-04-21 04:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by SDTerp 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This may be the best opportunity to get to know the moody, critical man and speak to him privately but kindly about his negative nature. Most people who come across this way are unhappy about something in their life. You could speak to him prior to the invite and ask him how he's doing and give some positive feedback. Who knows, he may indeed see his flaw and make an effort to work on it. If you decide to invite him then approach him again privately and follow through on encouraging him to enjoy himself while there by saying the party is uplifting. Whatever you decide to do be confident that you will choose the right way to handle it with the appropriate words.
2007-04-21 05:53:17 · answer #3 · answered by Marina 1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are planning the party for your friend, you should invite people the friend likes and put your differences aside for the night.
2007-04-21 04:00:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are footing the bill, as the host it is your right to select the guest list. Just say, "sorry, the guest list is full."
2007-04-21 04:36:53 · answer #5 · answered by mlprocin 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it would be rude not to invite him. this isn't a party for you...this a party for your friend and if you dont invite his cousin, your friend could be offended.
2007-04-21 04:01:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The party is for your friend and he is a friend of theirs. Include him.
2007-04-21 03:59:07 · answer #7 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you're paying for it...it doesn't matter who it's for, you make the guest list. tell him straight up.
2007-04-21 03:58:50 · answer #8 · answered by brewergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should invite him, as the party is not for you, but your friend.
Sorry!
2007-04-21 06:58:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋