I am a Korean-American woman married to a Korean-American man. Over the past year and a half, I have been studying abroad in Australia for my Master's degree, and for the most part living away from my husband, seeing him only once every 5 to 6 months. Living away, I had been very lonely, and ended up having a relationship with an Australian man (Caucasian/White Guy). I am currently back in the US for personal matters but I just recently realize that I am also pregnant (missed my period couple times so I went to check up and found out I'm 2 month pregnant). I am certain it is the Australian man's child since I had not had sex with anyone else for the past 5 months (and certainly not my husband). What should I do? I love my husband but I also love this Australian man (he is single. We never talked about being together or anything such as getting a divorce). As an added note, I also have one child, who I of course love very much, with my husband.
2007-04-20 23:53:40 · 15 answers · asked by cchen1982j 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I hope your marriage falls apart, slut.
serves you damn well right.
2007-04-20 23:57:21 · answer #1 · answered by Fel 2 · 6⤊ 3⤋
Since you're asking for our opinion, I will tell you what I would do if it were me. I would tell my husband as soon as possible. Let him know that you made a mistake and that you're sorry for hurting him. Ask him to forgive you for what you've done. Let him know that you'll never do this again. Find out what his feelings are. See if there's a way for you both to get past this. Then, you'll have to tell the other man that you're carrying his child. Tell him that you're trying to reconcile with your husband, but that you felt he needed to know that you are carrying his child. Since I don't know how either man will react, it's hard to plan from here. If your husband forgives you, then you be the best wife you can be, making sure you never make this mistake again. If this other man wants to be a part of your child's life, then you and your husband will have to work out the details so that will be able to happen (he has the right to know his child, especially if he pays child support...of which he should). If your husband doesn't forgive you and gets a divorce, then you've got a couple other options to think about. Like raising your child alone. Or marrying the other man (if he's agreeable). There is the possibility that your husband could forgive you, given the passage of time, and then you could be a family again. I've seen it happen. Sometimes time heals the pain. So, waiting , if there's a divorce, is a good idea, hoping that things will heal between the two of you. I know that you now see how one weak moment can change the whole course of your life. That's why it's always best to avoid situations where you'd be alone with a man who's not your husband. No, I'm not judging you. Just pointing out how important it is to think things through before acting. At any rate, you've got a lot of thinking to do now, and a lot of difficult decisions to make. I hope, for the sake of your child, that you and your husband remain together. It's as it should be...the family all together. <*)))><
2007-04-21 07:16:41 · answer #2 · answered by Sandylynn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you cheat on your husband like that? loneliness can be resolved with something other then sex you know.
You need to come clean about it with both men. First off regardless of race or looks of the child you can't hide the blood type from anyone...blood of a child is always the same as the fathers blood type.
You knew what you wre doing and thought you'd get away with it but now you are in a real pickle, be a adult and tell the truth because itis bound to come out one way or another and being the one to tell and come clean is better the your husband discovering the truth on his own.
2007-04-21 07:04:59 · answer #3 · answered by swtlilblonde31 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
First consideration ....Do you want this child ? If the answer is yes you must do it for yourself and not for the husband or the father of the child.
This may or may not cause your marriage to fall apart so do you want the responsibility of perhaps raising two children by yourself ?
This news may or may not come welcome to your Australian friend. Don't bank on the idea that he would welcome you and your child from a previous marriage and his child.
Your choices are many ....abortion and keep the secret.
Tell your husband and go from there.
Tell the baby's father and go from there.
Have the child and raise it , possibly by yourself.
Have the child and give it up for adoption.
None of these are easy choices. God Bless and keep you !
2007-04-21 07:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
My personal opinion is you should be totally truthful to your husband. Have the child, if you cant handle another give it up for adoption (I'm adopted and glad to be alive). I hope you have learned your lesson. You hurt the man you "love" and are married to and will be hurting your child indirectly as well. One word. Karma.
2013-12-15 21:11:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
How would you feel if you were in your husbands shoes? What about your other child? How could you not only disgrace yourself but you family as well? You've become like a terrorist, your going to ruin lives. Your going for your master's degree, you should be a little smarter if you ask me.
2007-04-21 10:16:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
This is a self induced problem you have to find your own answer for it and dont blame the Aussie man he found an easy lay in you and thats all it was.~~
2007-04-21 07:05:47 · answer #7 · answered by burning brightly 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Truth and honesty, the only things that can start to heal the rift.
Marriage counselling, etc., blah blah blah.
Good luck.
2007-04-21 07:41:11 · answer #8 · answered by joe b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow i would say you have alot of explaining to do..remember this..grass is not always greener on the other side..stop and think how your husband is going to react to all of this and how he will feel? wow i say you got yourself in a big mess. i am not even going answer this one..if it would be me i would not mention this and resolve the problem fast and go back home to your husband who dearly loves you more than this man does.
2007-04-21 07:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by mindy 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
just tell your hubby and the other guy the kid deserves to know his real dad even though u r married
2007-04-21 07:13:11 · answer #10 · answered by melodym28_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he wont notice!!!!!!! my baby came out green and my husband never even suspected that i had been ******* kermit the frog
2007-04-21 07:12:18 · answer #11 · answered by Boxer girl 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋