Life's Reflections !?

Question

1. Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2. I'm not into working out. My philosophy is no pain, no pain.
3. I'm in shape. Round is a shape.
4. I'm desperately trying to figure out why Kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
5. Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?
6. I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
7. Ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
8. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
9. You have to stay in shape. My mother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now and we have no idea where she is.
10. I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
11. One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.
12. They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
13. A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, "Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?" I said, "I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too".

Answer 1

Nice. I have a feeling you didn't come up with these yourself...

Answer 2

friendly!!!! particular our journey is all approximately how our fantastic bodies are equipped to technique techniques! Our sacred living house! We selection in our skills too! it is so captivating! it somewhat is phantasm yet yet not. Our senses are like transformations of sonar. techniques is consistently bounced back to us and is picked up in maximum of distinctive techniques it somewhat is astounding. once you're saying who's transforming into those senses I say they seem to be a factor of the present of our sacred living house. Our innovations create and recreate for all time. Our minds %. and decide for all time. We even reassemble and reinterpret. Our minds fill in the blanks the place our experience go away gaps for all time. i've got self assurance there is an ephemeral innovations and a actual innovations or the innovations. innovations is a state, a consequence of a technique. Even previous that i've got self assurance there is a few thing transcendent of the two one in all those, the spirit. Senses are approximately survival, yet previous that they are approximately experiencing life, the phantasm and the fact. I amvery involved in what reflects back from that inner ephemeral fact. Buddha nature...organic spirit. Ask what happens while the two reflections mirror back on one yet another in stability. i think of this is my quest for the Holy Grail excellent there. Metaphore. Peace!

Answer 3

on a scale of 1 to 10 you get 20

Answer 4

Add this too what you have written above :-
She is a square actress 36" by 36" by 36" !

Take Care and God Bless :o) !

Answer 5

Lol - brilliant! Very funny xx

Answer 6

YOU ARE AWESOME.

The Seinfeld of YAHOO! Answers.

Answer 7

LOL wow, that sure did teach me all whole lot :)

Answer 8

zzz...sorry, you were saying...? heard them all before, but still pretty good

Answer 9

Thanks for the sanity check. It's official, I'm 100% crazy.

Answer 10

that was pretty funny....but it kind of died gradually.