Is she a real friend to keep?

Question

I have a friend whom i known for around 10 years. We have been very close. However, ever since she went into a university, she has been telling me how highly powered she is trained and that she will be earning big bucks after she graduate. Im working and do not have a uni degree. She made a remark saying," why dont you get a degree? diploma holders are just cheap labour!" When she already knows im not feeling too good abt my job. She even tried to ask me to sign up a spa package with her and after that i found out that her brother is a sales distributor n will be earning commision if i take up the package. However she kept it from me and just mentioned she thinks the salon is quite good.

Im begining to reevaluate my friendship with her. Is she a true friend? She doesnt seem to be an honest person.everytime she introduces me to her friends, tellin em' im her best friend. I feel that she doesn treats me in a way a true friend does.

Answer 1

Maybe she's plain pompous !!!!
After she gets her degree & get a job , she will know what life is really !!!!!
Till then , bear with her & if she doesnt change then, then drop her or be just a casual friend of hers & find yrself a good true best friend.

Answer 2

She seems a bit opportunistic and perhaps a little insensitive, but she might not be a bad person. I mean, if she asks you why you don't get a degree, it seems like she thinks you are smart enough and serious enough about hard work to get one, right? She wouldn't say that if she thought you were stupid or lazy. She's probably trying to encourage you, but just isn't that good at it, to be honest. As for the spa package, she might've thought, "Cool, I can make my brother some money and make my friend feel better at the same time... that's great!"

There are lots of ways of looking at your friend's actions. The only reason to really drop a friend is because (a) you simply don't like him/her anymore for some reason or (b) he/she is doing things that are hurting you in some way on purpose.

Answer 3

Myself and my friend have a very similar situation. We have been friends for 14 years now on and off, meaning sometimes life just pushes us apart for awhile but we always end up back to being good friends. I supposedly have the better side of life, good child, own business, nice house, good education..etc.. but my friend started having children when she was in her teens, she does not know how to control them, and i did her cv for her but she cannot be arsed to find a job, and she has a bum for a boyfriend.

Yet we are the bestest of friends, we have our opinion of each other we always always speak the truth about each other as we feel this is wat keeps our friendship strong.

I'd say talk to her ask her y she is saying and asking u to do these things. If she doesnt give you an honest opinion then right now she is not being true to herself she is just being hot headed as she has got all wordly goods within her reach.
If she speaks truth then fine carry on ur friendship as is....but if she does not tell u take a step back from ur relationship for awhile and she will come back maybe a few months to a year. But you'll get your true friend back eventually.

I think they call it self discovery the road she is on....

Answer 4

You really have to look at your friendship to decide that. I have recently ended a long time friendship for personal reasons, basically she wasn't the same person I met 12 years ago and it wasn't who I could see dealing with on a constant basis. 10 years is a long time, people change all the time and in 10 years a lot of change can happen. Just remember, neither of you are being forced to talk to each other, it is supposed to be an enjoyable experience for both of you.

Answer 5

Maybe you're feeling a little insecure. I don't know if she meant anything bad by signing you up for the spa even though her brother makes commission. Maybe she thought you'd be able to enjoy it together.

It sounds to me like you're a little bothered by the fact that she's doing well and you don't feel like you are. Her comments sound like she's trying to encourage you to go to college. I don't think she's trying to make herself out to be better than you.

Don't throw away a friendship because you're suffering from low self-esteem right now. Just focus on the positives and creating new, happy memories together. Also... if she says something that hurts your feelings or bothers you just TELL HER and talk to her about it. Don't let it spoil the friendship.

Answer 6

I'm sorry, it sound like your friend needs to come of her high horse. I think my best friend starts to treat me like that. She also is getting a better position and has not called me for months, other than helping her with stuff she doesn't have the time for. I'm looking for other friendships, that support me for who I am. I once got a poem, I will never forget:
Friends Come,
Friends Go,
For a reason,
For a season,
or a life time.
They all contribute to your wonder full personality.

My Husband says:
Education is not everything.
There is living your life and learning from experiences.

Answer 7

My simple observation in contaxt to human psycology is that. You do not have to put that much attention to that statement. Because it can spoil your frienship.

And this is very common to make such statement after getting some possition, so you do not have to over react the same. Instead of that you have to give concentration to get good position and put efforts towards that direction.

Infact if I will be in place of you I will take this positive thing for me , because it gives really good directions to your career.

And finally you do not have to spoil your friendship, and tell your friend that I did not like your statement, that is all, you will also feel free after that and also will concentrate in academic work instead of all this.

Saint Kabir

Answer 8

Now i suspect you. If you start suspecting your friend, then you are having some thing bad about her.
I would like to quote an example from our epic Mahbharath.
It is Karna being a good man had associated with an evil Dhuriyodhana and gave his life only for his friendship.
So, don't have negative feelings. Mask it, continue your friendship and if she advices you something just take it and try it.

Answer 9

I am not going to tell you if you should be friends with her or not, but I will tell you to talk to her and let her know exaclty how you feel. I know this is really hard to do sometimes but it will make you feel much better. You have been friends for such a long time to let it all go to waste.

Answer 10

a friend in need is a friend indeed ask her for a favour see if she is willing to help you out then you can decide