Would you Marry someone you're not in love with?

Question

I don't think I could, but want to see the statistic of women and men who would marry because they really like and do love their spouses, BUT are not in love....why would you do it then?

INTERESTING...out of 23 people 2 or 3 would marry without being totally in love...I wonder how successful everyone's marriage turns out...and also for the people that said no...are we less practical? overly romantic?

Answer 1

Getting your statistic is going to be very tough, considering that many people will call a crush, or infatuation, love. I am female, I would not marry a guy that was not especially attractive to me (I would have to have at least a crush).

It takes very intimate knowledge of a person that only comes through testing and time to even truly *know* someone, and until you do know that someone, you only love your imaginary image of that person.

I would (and have) married someone because they are an honorable and decent person that shared my values, and that was attractive to me physically. I was able to give that person the trust that I would love them, even after infatuation wore off. And in time I did love that person.

Most people marry for infatuation, and have no idea what love is... They just call it love. Infatuation does not last, and people find out that without effort you cannot have love last, and get divorced. A little infatuation (lust) is necessary for most married people to keep up the mutual assurance of good will through hard times, but it is not a basis for a relationship.

Being 'in' love comes and goes, and you can't hurry it or hang onto it... It is the icing on the cake of love, not the substance. The icing gets sweeter and sweeter over time, because every time 'in love' rolls around again, you have more and better/deeper reasons for it. That is why it is worth it.

Answer 2

Marriage is hard enough when you are in love however after everything I have been through in my marriage I can honestly say yes I would marry someone that I didn't love. If he loved me and provided me with support and stability in my life then why not. All these years I have needed that more than I needed to be in love....yes I am a bit jaded but at the same time I am practical. I need a partner that can love and respect me for who I am and I would give the same in return. Loveless on my end yes but that doesn't mean that you would not love your life and show that appreciation via fidelity and devotion. Love is totally overrated.

Answer 3

Looking at the divorce statistic's, its pretty apparent a lot of people really don't know what love is. So maybe if you marry someone that is your best friend and the years go by, you end up falling in love with that person very much so. That's where its at anyhow, your spouse should be your best friend or love fades pretty fast.

Answer 4

I never thought I could either. But then I met someone who's a lot like me, and truth be told, is the best candidate for marriage I've found thus far. I have an immense amount of respect for him, and if he loves me too, then I'll marry him. In India, they don't believe in love before marriage. Marriages are arranged, and they believe that the couple will bond over the years and love will develop after.

Answer 5

I did, but I was blackmailed. Long story. We're getting a divorce and I feel like I'm finally setting right a very long-lasting wrong (10 years long).

I made the best of the marriage and I wasn't unhappy, and I did love him, but he's not who I would have chosen. I felt like I had no choice, but to live with what I had done and make it into something good. And I did very well with that, though the toll it took on me to hold things together I wouldn't recommend. It can be done, and if something rather drastic hadn't happened, we'd still be married today. Saying that made me shudder. I'm very glad to have my freedom back.

Answer 6

Never, by marrying someone you don't love (whether it's for money or because you don't think you have a choice) you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of regret and unhappiness. Like the old saying goes, you can't buy happiness. In my opinion, you also can't buy or fake true love. I believe that some people know they don't love one another and have an agreement that they'll stay together but see other poeple. If that's the case than what's the point of even getting married?! I just think it's wrong to marry someone you don't love altogether.

xty

Answer 7

NEVER. i wouldnt want to spend the rest of my life with someone who im not comfortable with or like because i know eventually the marriage will fail anyway. i dont want to be in a marriage when i know i wont be happy with even though he might provide me everything that we need. when you have everything, but if two people didnt love each other, there will be so many problems and the relationship will never go strong. i take marriage seriously. and divorces are bad for your status, divorces arent the same as a regular normal break up.

Answer 8

I would say no. Marriage is a sacred engagement for life. If you marry someone you're not in love with, you will live with someone you're not in love with for the rest of your life, and you will miss the whole happiness that follows it. People think they can play with marriage, but it is not a joke. One should not marry for money, material possessions or anything else besides love. Otherwise the pain it brings is immense.

Answer 9

Clover you moron!! what if it's rape? And why make a child even more miserable by living with parents that don't love eachother/ one happy parent is better then two miserable ones.

If he was in this country illegally and offered me a hefty sum of money to wed him and make him legal, I would marry him. Or if he was just very attractive and refused to consumate the relationship before marriage. Then I would definitely marry him.

Answer 10

Never. I was with my husband for 8 years before we finally tied the knot. I wanted to be sure without a doubt. Some people do marry for other reasons though like power and money. That's just not for me.