Been married for 15 years. My wife has been brainwashed by her dad for all of them. I had his blessing when we got married but ever since he has been in every part of our decisions. One call to her dad and she changes her mind. This has been on everthing from our cars, our house, our kids, my work, what color our house should be. The list is a mile long because it's been going on so long and it still is going on. The times at her parents house are close to unbearable. Her dad will insult me in front of me or behind my back- but what bugs me is my wife to this day has never stuck up for me. He has gotten worse over the years because I, very politely, told him to stay out of affairs. Things just get worse. The man is 66 years old and he lies like a bad 5 year old kid. Now he is at the point that he makes up stories and tells my wife what rude things I said to him and my wife seems to believe him. I love her but I can not take any more.
2007-04-20 17:29:29 · 10 answers · asked by joe b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Oooook..........Aren't questions supposed to end with a question mark?
2007-04-20 17:35:54 · answer #1 · answered by Millionaire in training 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
15 years is a very long time to put up with an intrusive father in law. Why haven't you had your one on one talk with this man? Why haven't you stepped up to the plate and told this man the his daughter is your wife and if he continues to interfere with your happy home your will be force to take steps to shut him up. Why haven't you told this graduate of the all knowledge college that his daughter deserves better and you were going to see to it she gets it. Do not allow this man insult you, only because no one deserves to be insulted by anyone. Why are you letting this man control what you and your wife want? Why are you allowing your wife to include her father in decisions that should be only between the two of you? Explain to your wife that you love her very much and that you want your marriage to last forever, but she has to want the same or it won't work. Remind her that the Bible says to depart from your father and mother and go away. It says that the husband and wife are a beginning of a new family. Tell your father in law you don't but into his marriage and .to but out of yours from now on! Tell your wife she needs to pay more attention to the vows she made at your wedding than to the little girl fears for her father. Good Luck
2007-04-20 17:45:48 · answer #2 · answered by MJ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow! A father-in-law from hell instead of a mother-in-law for a change! Since your wife seems to lean toward her fathers side...refuse to attend anything at the in-laws house until this behavior stops. If your mother-in-law is nice to you...maybe you could seek her help in this. Otherwise, tell your wife that she can visit, but you will no longer subject yourself to his rude comments. Also make it clear that her parents do not pay yours and your wifes household bills so they have NO SAY in what is done at yours and her house. Let her know you love her, but this situation has become unbearable. Ask her how she would feel if you had to get YOUR parents approval on every decision and if your parents treated her badly.. Next time you have a confrontation with him...don't be polite...it didn't work. Be respectful, but make it clear that you're no longer going to be insulted and abused by him
2007-04-20 17:39:58 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
Good luck--you need it.
Explain to your wife (tactfully) that you believe that her dad is trying to come between the two of you and that it is really hurting your relationship. Does dad want the two of you to divorce? Why? Ask Him.
I'm not sure what type of household your wife grew up in, but was it because she was in an abusive household and agreeing with dad was the only way to keep the peace? Does dad have any terminal illnesses? Where is your mother in law-what is her take on this? Can she help?
I think that you and your wife should seek some marriage counseling so that she can see the error of her ways and that her actions are really hurtful to your marriage.
2007-04-20 17:37:46 · answer #4 · answered by Susan D 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Me and you ought to get together and write a book! I have the same problem with my husband and his mother. She has to know everything that goes on in this house, always puts her opinion in on it, and my husband always takes her side! Everything I do is wrong in that womans eyes and she treats me very disrespectfully. And my husband does nothing about it. Its your wife place to stand up to her dad, and grow a backbone and put you first which is what marriage is all about. But I'm not gonna tell you to talk to her about it because it will just go back to her dad what you said and start a big fuss (I've been there) so if you find a way to make it work let me know. Otherwise, we'll start on that book! :)
2007-04-20 17:40:13 · answer #5 · answered by boo kitty 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop going to their home, unless your wife plans to take a stand for you. Tell her that you want to have some decision making powers and that you are feeling left out. Talk to her before you get too tired to work on the marriage. A counselor may also help, since they will have not ties to either of you or her family.
2007-04-20 17:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by Shanna h 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've reached the end of your rope. Just leave, things are not going to get any better after 15 years of this.
2007-04-20 17:55:18 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be a man, grow a spine and stand up for yourself. Give her an ultimatum to either shape up or ship out. If you cannot resolve the problem, kick her to the curb.
2007-04-20 17:36:04 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am a daddys girl, but enough is enough.. You took his little girl. The shes mine theory and he is most likely scared he will lose her. The more you try to convince the further she will go. If she doesnt trust you then maybe it was not meant to be, but dont tell her the things he does.... She will eventaully realize it.. Maybe to late then, but she will. I have been there. and now I know my father for who he is.
2007-04-20 17:35:05 · answer #9 · answered by amber_a_a 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should have put a stop to this years ago. Now all I can think to tell you is to sit your wife down and tell her how you feel.
2007-04-20 17:38:29 · answer #10 · answered by kitkat 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋