ok ladies tell the truth do you really??

Question

heres a question for the women here. first off i do understand that trust is a vital thing in a relationship. now that being said in todays world where infidelity is an epidemic you would be a fool to not at least entertain the possibility that you spouse might cheat? so tell me if your man questions you about something that just doesnt seem kosar do you get mad as hell or do you secretly view that concern as a compliment and your mans affirmation that you are a desirable women that other men would love to have?? again i understand trust, but sometimes when you have a strange # on your phone or you seem sneaky about somethng we men cant help but wonder?? afterall when we do this arent we affirming that we still love and dont want to loose you!! dont castigate me about it just tell me your thoughts as it would apply to your own situation. and by the way all of these women on here that continually brag about running around sure dont help to ease a weary mind now do they???????

Answer 1

If you have suspicions that are unfounded...after awhile your spouse will leave simply because they can no longer endure the pain of being accused of something they're not doing

Answer 2

Anytime a guy is willing to develop an understanding with a girl that they are a couple, he is worthy of the respect of a decent answer to any question he may have about any suspicious behavior, or phone numbers. If she is really true to her guy, she will understand that if he feels insecure it is her duty to put his mind at ease because after all, he is making a commitment to be with only her. If she is rude and unwilling to give him that respect without degrading or accusing him, he should just tell her that if he is caring enough to put his feelings on the line to be with only her, he feels that he has the right to the know that she feels the same way towards him or that if she does not abide by their agreement, then he has the right to seek an exclusive relationship elsewhere if he is not getting it with her. Never should she accuse or berate someone she is supposed to love and care for. If she does, she is not relationship material. All exclusive relationships should share mutual respect for each others feelings, not to mention the time, hopes, and dreams invested in building such a union. No one has a right to something they are not honoring.

Answer 3

I haven't heard any women brag about running around their men, but maybe I'm reading different posts than you.

Anyways, there's nothing wrong with asking her about something you think is suspicious. My husband and I have both questioned each other from time to time. We trust each other, but we also understand that even a little jealousy is part of any relationship, and usually we are asking because we're curious about something, not because we are sure the other must be cheating.

If she's freaking out on you, tell her to shut up! No, just kidding, but she should be a little more understanding, especially if she is the type to freak out. I would guess that she's be asking you about suspicious stuff if she found it.

Men and women both cheat, so you are right to be worried. You never really know someone. I've thought and done things in my life that I never thought that I would (not necessarily bad things ; ).

So, to answer your question, I wouldn't be complimented by it, but I wouldn't freak out unless he didn't believe me, and kept up about it.

Answer 4

Well, my husband and I are very open with each other. We have discussed cheating an are in agreement about the following. We both believe that no one is above temptation. With that, we both feel like the most important thing is not allowing yourself to get into a situation where that temptation could overrule your common sense or intentions. My husband has access to anything personal of mine, and the same goes for his. If anything pops up, out of the norm, we may question each other, but we have never accused each other of anything. We are not those kind of people who think it could never happen, we are the type of people who do everything we can to ensure it will not happen. Affairs are usually not something that just happens. So, we keep an honest relationship, try to ensure each others happiness in the marriage and stay away from situations where something could occur.

Answer 5

I am flattered when my man is curious, it's nice to know he cares. I wouldn't take it offensively at all, besides he should be reasurred when other men check me out, after all I am going home with my man. Just as I am flattered when other women find my man attractive, I kinda smirk and grab his butt and wink at them like I saw you looking and it's all good, but he's mine and coming home with me! Which also reminds him I know he's still got it and others want it, but I'm not done or giving him up! I agree with your affirmations above. Of course honesty and trust make this possible as does confidence. I always said you can not make someone love you they either do or they don't. There is nothing you can do or say to change the way they feel or how they show their love or lack there of... in such a case there is no basis for a relationship, so cut your losses and move on...the grass is greener on the otherside only if someone is in a relationship of convienence...if it's true love and commitment there are no temptations!

Answer 6

Well, I think it is natural to wonder who the strange number is. That is not saying that you think the other person is cheating on you. I stay at home with the kids and my husband works. When he gets home, he looks through the caller-id. If there is a number he doesn't recognize, he'll ask me who it is, and I tell him. It is that simple. There is no reason for your spouse to get all defensive. Now if you flat-out accused her of cheating, that is a different story. And I can see the concern as being a compliment, as long as it wasn't an accusation. To me, you ask before you just assume. I hope I have answered your question.

Answer 7

First of all, insecurities drive me crazy. Maybe, she is just talking to a friend. Ask about the number, but don't go snooping thru her phone looking for problems that may not exist. You have to have trust in a relationship and if it is not there due to her cheating on you, then just move on. If she has never cheated on you, then stop with the insecure acts or you will drive her right out of your life. Personally, if a person is cheating, then you should dump them. Once a cheater, always a cheater, but if you are just accusing her of this, then you are destroying the relationship yourself. Sometimes, believe it or not, people dial the wrong numbers on cell phones. If she is acting suspicious it may just be that you are paranoid. Trust her or let her go.

Answer 8

I have been suspicious. He has admitted to cheating (then said otherwise and back again).
He questioned me where I went the other day. I went to be ministered to. I thought it was strange they way he asked me. Because of his behavior, I think when he has asked me questions and gotten defensive and aggressive when I have asked him questions or told him how I felt about matters, I have learned that is cheating sign when men are defensive and abusive. Most lying abusers I have learned cheat.
If your wife/husband has nothing to hide there should be nothing "sneaky" and the spouse should be willing to be honest and open without having to be asked! I do this with my husband, and I am surprised when he acts jealous. I don't brag about running around because I don't run around. I can understand why abused women who have been cheated on and lied to would want to though. I even tell him my temptations and thoughts.
If I am being brutally honest with my spouse at the risk of making him mad at me and doing things to me, then does it surprise you if I am surprised or offended that he seems suspicious or acts jealous?
Some women do want a man to be concerned, but not jealous and possessive.
What you want, if you want a faithful woman, find someone who is brutally honest and take very very good care of her! Then she will be less likely to cheat.

Answer 9

I think that I have a unique situation at home. My husband is never jealous. I do mean never! However, he still does make me feel desirable and loved. There was a guy I dated in high school who was never jealous and never made me feel attractive, though. So, for the most part, I think that you are right. It can be affirming of attractiveness, as long as it's not constant. If it's constant, I think it would just be saying that you don't trust your wife.

Answer 10

If there would be a number on my phone and he asked, I would tell him who it is. But I would not expect to be given the third degree. A person cannot be "taken away" unless they want to be. Sometimes , it is a compliment but not if it is a constant questioning, then that is too much jealousy or a power trip. Either one trusts their significant other or they do not. I have never ran around because it has happpened to me before and I would not do that..too devastating. And believe me I do not think that it's anything to be proud of. But to each his or her own.

Answer 11

You know, it doesn't help to question her if she's not doing anything. I was faithful to my first husband the entire marriage (11years) and he constantly questioned and accused me of cheating. It's part of why I left him.

Now, I'm not saying close your eyes, plug your ears and sing "la la la". But be VERY careful how you approach this subject with her.

If she is a very independant woman, questioning her will probably piss her off to no end. By the same token, if she is doing something, she'll probably freak out from fear that you've found her out. These may look almost identical.

Again, please tread carefully when asking her about something that looks suspicious.