I could just kill him!! My ex came over to pick up our boys. When he got here the kids were thrying to show off for him. Next thing I know they are fist fighting. They are 10 and 11. I tried to stop them, there dad just stood there saying if they are going to fight, I don't want them coming over. When I try to tell him that our 11 year old said that he hated him, he won't talk about it. So he starts going out to his car saying I can't deal with this, If they are going to be fighting I am not going to take them. I said you have to, their your kids too. He said I don't care, take me to court. I told him what kind of man are you that you can't handle your kids. Then he gets all weary looking and says I tried to talk to them. I hate it because you can tell he really does not want to deal with it. I told him seeing your kids 4 days a month does not make you a parent. He only lives 15 min. away, he can see them anytime. He ended up taking them. I feel sad because the boys need a stong dad.
2007-04-20 17:13:29 · 5 answers · asked by Teslajuliet 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because he missed something in his childhood that you or anyone can't replace and he sounds like he is unwilling to seek help to over come his own losses. (he must be my ex's clone!!)
You can't be mom AND dad to your boys. You can only do the best you can and like you say, offer him the chances to be a dad. It is his loss that he is missing out on a very important part of his sons lives. It is heart wrenchingly sad for the boys...Now for the boys: Are they sub consciously acting up to test him? Are they asking for his love by being just as wild as they can be? Who knows.
I am in exactly the same boat (8yr divorced) my kids a little older than yours and now they choose not to see dad and dad accuses me of alienation but it is his own doing. I am still taking my kids to counseling because I am more concerned that they get help than trying to teach an old dog new tricks. I don't have any other male to act as role model but we watch TV and point out good and bad traits of men on tv or talk about other friend's dads and I no longer put their dad down, rather look for ways to point out what choices they can make as to how they want to be.
Put your energy into becoming the best mom you can, be a listener, do stuff with them that they are interested in...they will figure it out! Believe that! Good luck.
2007-04-20 17:48:58 · answer #1 · answered by atheleticman_fan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I FILL SO SORRY FOR YOUR OYS I HAVE 3 SONS THEY ARE I NTHEIR 20S NOW BUT I DONT THINK THEY WOULD BE WERE THEY ARE IN LIVE IF IT HADNT BEEN FOR MY HUSBAND BEING SUCH A GOOD DADD Y HE COACH BALL DID I BOYSCOUT LEADER SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER HE WAS VERY FIRM AND THEY RESPCET HIM VERY MUCH THEY STIL DO THEY CALL HERE ALL THE TIME TO GET DADDYS VIEW ON THE SUBJECT! I REMEMBER ONE NIGHT OUR 2 OLDEST WERE 6&7 THEY GOT INTO A FIGHT AFTER WE BUT THEM TO BED HE WENT IN THEIR ROOM NEVER SAID A WORD GOT THEM BU THE HAND TOOK THEM OUT SIDE ON THE PORCH AND SAID IF YOUR GONNA FIGHT LIKE CATS AND DOG THEN SLEEP OUT SIDE LIKE CATS AND DOGS (I WAS SO ANGRY HE WOLD DO SUCH A THING TO MY BABBYS BUT LESS THEN 2 MINTS THEY KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND SAID DADDY WE DECIDE WE WANT TO BE BOYS NOT ANIMAL SO HE LEAD THEM BACK TO THEIR ROOM KISSED THEM GOOD NIGHT AND READ A STORY TO THEM THEY NEVER HAD ANOTHE FIGHT LIKE TAHT AGIN !
YOU NEE D TO HELP YOUR EX TO REALIZE THEY NEED HIM TO BE A MAN WITH A BACK BONE AND MORIALS IF HE WANTED THEM TO GROW UP W/ A BACK BONE GEE I DONT UNDERSTAND HOW A GROWN MAN CANT HANLDE 2 LLI BOYS WE HAD 3 AND I RAN A DAY CARE OUT OF MY HOME FOR10YRS MY HUSBAND FILLED IN FOR ME WHEN EVER I NED HIM TOO IN THE AFTER NOON AND I WOULD COME HOME AND HED HAVE 8LIL KIDS UNDER THE AGE OF 5 SITTING IN THE FLOOR CUTTIG CONSTUTION PAPER AND GLUEING RINGS TO MAKE CHAINS AND NECKLESS YOU EX NEEDS TO WAKE UP DONT HE REALIZE THEY SEE HIM ACTING AS THOUGH THEY ARE TOO MUCH FOR HIM IF THEY HATE HIM MAYBE THAT S WHY!
2007-04-21 00:32:02 · answer #2 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fight occured in your house, why didn't you immediately put a stop to it? And why tell your ex that his own son hates him? You sure brightened his day, eh?
2007-04-21 01:01:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Maybe this has something to do with why he is your ex. Why are you surprised?
2007-04-21 00:19:39 · answer #4 · answered by Millionaire in training 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
breath..relax.. have a smoke...talk to him or a counsolor and just try that
2007-04-21 00:18:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋