My Husband is always complaining about...?

Question

My hubby get's home from work and the first thing out of his mouth is something negative like the house is a little messy, or Dinner isn't quiet ready. I have 3 toddlers to take care of and I go to school at night I'm doing the best I can. What do I do??

Answer 1

I don't know what he's is complaining about. I never have dinner ready for me when I get home. Not even almost ready. I work my butt off growing a company 10-12 hours a day and have to come home and cook the meals. We don't even have kids. You just let him know that the grass isn't always greener and to not take you for granted. If he doesn't let up, you just keep on bettering yourself and know that you are a good person. Sucks that it is your own husband that can't see it though.

Answer 2

This sounds familiar. I don't think he is TRYING to be negative towards you. The problem is he isn't TRYING to be positive towards you. The thing is, there are TWO different stories that goes on during the day. There are things that YOU go through and I'm positive there are things that HE is goes through. When he says these things to you he isn't fully taking into consideration what is going on with you throughout the day. You should let him know how these comments bring you down and it doesn't make you feel appreciated. Don't yell or be angery. Sit down with eachother after the kids are asleep and you two have a few moments alone. Then talk like adults and two people that love eachother. Tell him how these things make you feel. At the same time, allow him to voice himself about things he maybe going through. Make sure you guys communicate that this is constructive. Try bringing it up in a subtle way like, "Hey baby, can I talk to you for a second?" or if you think there is a possibility of getting a "Not right now, I'm tired..." answer, try something along the lines of "Sweetheart, I really need to speak with for a moment." Again, let him know how a positive comment here or there makes you feel. At the same time, ask him if there is something you could do to help him as well. But, it's not a one time fix. It's something you both have to work on and it may take a little while for it to become habit. You may have to help him a little when he comes home every now and then (like my wife does me sometimes ;) by being blunt like, "YOU NOTICE SOMETHING ABOUT THE HOUSE???", in a playful tone when he walks in or a little after. Heh, sometimes we can be just dumb and numb too, heh ; )
God Bless

Answer 3

Oh, hon, this one's easy. If he says the house is messy, ask what part...when he says the living room say, "I've got to start dinner, but it would be nice if you picked up the living room..." If he says dinner isn't quite ready say,"I know, Judy needed a surprise bath. Will you stick he in the tub and I'll finish up?"

You have to practice saying it unaccusingly. Let him know that yeah, its messy. If he doesn't like it, he has hands, clean it up. If he questions the value of having you home, show him a daycare bill. And what a housekeeper costs. You probably cover more expenses than his paycheck does. So, yeah, the baby needed another bottle and dinner got set back a bit, which does he want to cover?

Answer 4

Turn the tables on him. Find a legitimate reason to spend a day away when he will be home with the 3 toddlers. Let him be responsible for keeping the house in order and having the meal ready.

Answer 5

My husband used to come in the door and say, "Well, what did you do today? Watch TV?" I told him my job was the kind he only noticed if I DIDN'T do it every day. I reminded him if I hadn't worked all day doing laundry, running errands, paying bills, cleaning, cooking, and keeping things running smoothly, then he might think I'd been watching TV. But with a young child, a granddaughter to keep, and two children to babysit, along with my housework, I'd been quite busy. He didn't lighten up so I got a very good job and a divorce, in that order.

Answer 6

Calmly tell him "Dinner is almost finished" or " The children were playing"....something to where you are accepting the blame...but not really.

But if he is negative when he comes home then something is wrong. Something at work is probably bothering him. I would see i I could figure out what is the root of the problem.

Answer 7

stand up to him don't let any man treat you like you are not good enough or doing a good enough job 3 toddlers that's a job in its self. he is no better then you nor are you him you need to be treated equally. i have been married 23 years my husband has never said that to me and i hate cleaning so i have had my share of messy houses.does he know how to cook and clean?? i rest my case this is a partnership.

Answer 8

If you can go away for the weekend ....u know..visit family or relatives somewhere. Or just get away for a whole day and evening. Let him take care of the kids. I mean it...just do it.
When you come back he might be mad...but hey he's mad now too so it won't make a difference. When he calms down he will see how hard it is to take care of them.
ps: don't forget to give him a honey to do list...like..vacuum.

Answer 9

You might wonder, “How can a marriage be constantly enriched?” We build our marriages with endless friendship, confidence, and integrity and also by ministering to and sustaining each other in our difficulties. Adam, speaking of Eve, said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Genesis 2:23). There are a few simple, relevant questions that each person, whether married or contemplating marriage, should honestly ask in an effort to become “one flesh.” They are:

First, am I able to think of the interest of my marriage and spouse first before I think of my own desires?

Second, how deep is my commitment to my companion, aside from any other interests?

Third, is he or she my best friend?

Fourth, do I have respect for the dignity of my spouse as a person of worth and value?

Fifth, do we quarrel over money? Money itself seems neither to make a couple happy, nor the lack of it, necessarily, to make them unhappy. A quarrel over money is often a symbol of selfishness.

Sixth, is there a spiritually sanctifying bond between us?

Answer 10

tell him exactly how you feel in a non defensive manner and just talk to him. explainn yourself and tell him that he is wrong for expecting everything to be perfect. picking up the clothers on the floor or vacuuming or setting the table will not kill him-even if he thinks that it will. it would be a big help to you and you wouldreally appreciate all the assistance. thank him for what he does do too. if you need to-keep telling him over and over how you feel and trying to explain it is differnt ways maybe. i am sorry -good luck