ok how can a relationship move forward and progress if one or both continually live in the past. this i think is really true in a very long term relationship where both people mature and mellow with age and learn from their mistakes. so why does the past always poison the future???????
2007-04-20 13:24:42 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes people make a choice to do something they know will not please their spouse. They do it without thought of the repercussions in the future. Best thing is to live true to yourself and that means look before you leap.
2007-04-20 13:32:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Interesting concept. Since people are "supposed" to forgive, it isn't "mistakes" that harm a relationship, it's the failure of the other to forgive. So, IF I hired a hit man to kill my wife, and he just manged to shoot her a few times without killing her, it wouldn't be my "mistake" in trying to have her killed that harmed my marriage, it would be harmed ONLY if she didn't forgive me, and the fault would be hers. Why stop with just marriages? Heck, life would a lot more pleasant if we extend this idea to everything. I could rob bands, and it would just be a "mistake", and the bank would be supposed to forgive and forget. Much easier for scum and low lifes your way. ANYTHING goes- and others are to forgive, cuz "We all make mistakes", and "nobody is perfect" Buddy, it simply ain't that way. Even though we often pretend otherwise, our actions ALWAYS have consequences. Even babies learn that. They learn, before they can even talk, that touching a hot stove has consequences. So, they don't touch. Besides, what you're talking about isn't mistakes. A mistake would be adding 2+2, and getting 5. Cheating, using drugs, gambling, and beating your wife aren't mistakes, they are DELIBERATE acts, and inevitably have consequences.
2007-04-20 20:52:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
We should all forgive and forget. It is not always that easy, but it is the proper way to live. Otherwise, there is always that hint of mis-trust that creeps up and devistates your life. Lack of trust can cause people to do things that are harmful to any relationship. Either way, If you can't forgive and forget then your have no real future. God bless and best wishes!
2007-04-20 20:30:12 · answer #3 · answered by nimbus 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends.
Anger and remorse and hate are bad for you in the long run. They make you cynical and make you doubt that there are good people around.
But some people cannot forgive... and others take a long time to get to forgive. Some can forgive and forget...Others can make a decision to forgive but decide not to forget.
Life is difficult and it is a learning process. We learn until we die.
2007-04-20 20:33:29 · answer #4 · answered by Nena S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that the past always poisons the future. It truly depends on the persons past mistakes. Some things are forgivable but not forgettable.
2007-04-20 20:31:39 · answer #5 · answered by Doris A 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
if it were only so simple! some things are just not very important and can be forgiven and forgotten easily.others like lying to a man and letting him think he is the father of your child when you know thats not possible and allowing him to go on thinking this and paying child support and still lying to both her ex and her son for money that will never be forgiven or forgotten no one wants to be played for a fool!keeping any kind of secrets from your mate that concerns talking to others or porn or dating sites is another sure way to throw your marriage in the toilet.when that happens you have no one to blame but yourself when you wind up with nothing!in a perfect world we do forgive but its not perfect and its hard to forgive a habitual liar.good luck to you.be honest.
2007-04-20 20:50:03 · answer #6 · answered by dixie58 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because some have yet to learn how to let go of the pass also the person has not forgiven the others flaws that tend to poison an taint our view of relationship(s)
2007-04-20 20:30:52 · answer #7 · answered by Tennessee Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that squarely depends on exactly what the "past mistake(s)" is/are; how serious was it???
Serious mistakes, bordering on breaking laws, may deserve the offender gets "tagged", forewarned unto others.
Friviolous mistakes, however, if brought up by one ex, shows that ex needs time to grow up and mature.
2007-04-20 20:34:09 · answer #8 · answered by Hard Rocker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's two ways to live.... in the past or in the future... If you live in the past , then you'll be stuck...If you live in the future you can move forward. You can't take the past with you.
2007-04-20 22:22:12 · answer #9 · answered by ♥Kimchi♥ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
because there are people who like to relive painful events as a way of punishing themselves for not acting the way they think should have acted.
Not letting go poisons the victim's soul and binds it down not allowing personal growth, thus, stunting the relationship's growth.
Letting go is not just a nice way of being a "good" person, but also a way of sparing your soul from loads you should not be carrying.
2007-04-20 20:30:34 · answer #10 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋