Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
His underwear is hanging on the lamp.
His raincoat is there in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair is becoming quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater's been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and one ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly hung on the door.
His books are all jammed in the closet,
His vest has been left in the hall.
A lizard named Ed is asleep in his bed,
And his smelly old sock has been stuck to the wall.
Whosever room this is should be ashamed!
Donald or Robert or Willie or--
Huh? You say it's mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!
2007-04-20 13:23:52 · 11 answers · asked by IM cool 3 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
funny your a joker....i would have to rate that a ....10
2007-04-20 13:33:29 · answer #1 · answered by carbear22/2 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you want a critique,
"Whosever room this is should be ashamed" should be "Whoever owns this room should be ashamed" because "whosever" isn't a real word, and the person should feel ashamed, not the room (subject in wrong place)
His underwear is hanging on the lamp. (funny image!!)
His raincoat is (take out there) in the overstuffed chair,
And the chair (has become) quite mucky and damp.
His workbook is wedged in the window,
His sweater's been thrown on the floor.
His scarf and (take out one) ski are beneath the TV,
And his pants have been carelessly (change hung to thrown, because hung doesn't sound careless) on the door.
And I don't like the ending...
"Donald or Robert or Willie or--
Huh? You say it's mine? Oh, dear,
I knew it looked familiar!"
2007-04-21 07:16:43 · answer #2 · answered by toxicPoison 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
4
2007-04-20 13:33:30 · answer #3 · answered by Maus 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i think of this a good looking poem, with incredible imagery..i assume you have already defined your poem...your partitions represent who you're, and infrequently once you have a closed door no person can pass into the room to work out those partitions...optimistically sooner or later you will unencumber it :) As for the poem itself, i think of you may desire to advance it by using rethinking the meter in straight forward terms slightly through fact some strains have been slightly long and the poem can get sooo plenty extra useful in case you in basic terms tweak it up slightly right here and there lotsa capacity keep penning :D
2016-10-03 07:53:01 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don,t like be rude But sounds like you are
talking about your self how you live Things
laying and throught all over This not a poem
Its a story of your life Rate 10 for good story.
2007-04-20 13:39:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope all your postings are different poems, not the same one.
I don't know how old you are so that makes it more difficult to rate for you. I would give it an 8. I know nothing about poetry. That is just my opinion. I was thinking that for a young person writing it, it is very good. Then maybe a 9.
2007-04-20 13:35:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
thats Shel Silverstein's poem! shame on u!
10
>:(
2007-04-20 14:24:53 · answer #7 · answered by jynxpixie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats not your poem.... But I give it a 8
2007-04-20 15:21:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lola 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
oh my gosh . this is the worst poem ever. u wrote a poem about a messy room , whats wrong with u
2007-04-20 13:33:02 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
uh if there was a 0 it would be that so im going to go with 1 ah! but that poem is dumb
2007-04-20 13:33:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋