I don't have any sexual desire for my husband anymore. I love him to death, but my sex drive is dead.?

Question

I dont want to be with anyone else, i love my husband, but as far as the actual desire to have sex it's completly gone, and i am only 27. in order for me to get in the mood to do anything with him, i havet to be relaxed, drink some drank, or smoke a joint, and i am not even a smoker, but some how it relaxes me, and then i am relaxed and can open up to him to have sex. Now am i crazy or what? what happend to my sex drive. is there anything i can do to put it back in our marriage?

Answer 1

Poor him!

Answer 2

1. There are always people out there throwing monkey wrenches in the works of others achievements, hard work and sometimes marriages. Before you jump to conclusions you need to get the facts first. 2. Sex is important in a marriage but should not be top priority before love. You need to evaluate your emotions and situation. but you can only accurately do that when you're calm and collective. 3. Make sure you're not the one with the issues. If he is the perpetrator of the dirty deed then do what you need to do to be happy again. Focus on what you want in life and do it! There are plenty of other fish in the sea. Never let anyone disrespect you and your feelings. Of course this is easier said than done, It's hard when you feel or know that your spouse is unfaithful. Thats why you have to know for sure without a shadow of a doubt before you do anything rash. If it's not too late, Get counseling!

Answer 3

Reasons Women Lose Their Sexual Desire
1. Psychological
If you are depressed, the first thing that's going to go is your urge for sex, and that can be from stress and anxiety. Sexual abuse - 23 percent of women have been abused and it's a real issue. And then the body image that we talked about -- if we're fat, if we're too thin, if we don't have breasts -- we don't feel like we're sexy. We don't need sex. Therefore, we don't want it.

2. Couple trouble.
That's a big problem because sex becomes a power issue. He wants it this many times; I don't. I'm mad at him. I'm not going to have sex with him. If your relationship is not good outside the bedroom, it's not going to get good inside the bedroom. They say that when a marriage is good, 85 percent of the marriage has good sex. But when it's bad, 85 percent of that marriage is bad sex.

3. Medication.
Birth control pills. Fifteen million women in America are on the pill and often that can diminish libido. So there you're taking something so you can have sex and you feel less lusty.

4. Diseases
All the chronic diseases, and when you get a lot of auto-immune diseases, it lowers libido; diabetes, cancer.

5. Therapy of the diseases
That's if you've had surgery, if you've had chemotherapy, if you've had a hysterectomy. It can change your reaction, your sense of who you are, your body image and if you want to have sex.

6. Pain.
15 percent of women have discomfort when they have sex, and if it hurts, you don't want to do it. If you remember the hurt, you remember you don't want it.

7. Men.
Here we have that whole 30 million men that have some sort of dysfunction, erectile dysfunction, and they have the same factors we do. They have the psychological issues, they have the physical factors, and what do they do when they don't want it? `Honey, it's OK. I don't need it anyway.' So we talk ourselves out of it.

Answer 4

I just answered a question similar to this.

I think the problem isnt your sex drive at all, but perhaps an emotional or mental problem in the relationship. Everything ok, in your relationship? If not, think of what could be causing you to take out the stress of ytour relationship on the sex-area of your life.
I have a belief that people often dwindle down in the bed beacuse of stress or hidden emotion.

I could be wrong about the emotional thing. But you are very young, eventhough womens sex drives increase around 38- but maybe you should take daily vitamins. Alot of people have al kinds of different energy they never had before simply by taking a multivitamin in the morning.
The fact is, the foods we eat today arent designed for the body to process, and dont contain the nessecary vitamins and minerals that our bodies need.
Good luck.

Answer 5

I agree with Iraqvet and Pepsco......

IMO, lack of desire is just the tip of the iceberg. Women and men are different, think different and that is why we have so much trouble understanding each other.

To a man, if you have sex with him he feels loved.
But for a woman to want to have sex with a man, she has to feel comfortable, protected and secure. Only then will she share her body with him.

Perhaps you should take some blood tests and check your doctor. Your hormones could be in strange levels and that is a big reason for not wanting sex.

Also, be honest with yourself. Is everything OK with you and your husband? If something is bothering you, chances are this situation will continue and be a source of stress for your marriage. Our minds are tricky and sometimes our subconcious makes us do weird things....Therapy or counseling might help you, too.

Good luck...Hope you feel better soon...!

Answer 6

there may be an underlying medical condition your hormones may be off, try seeing a dr. there are meds on the market now for a woman to take to increase your sex drive some drs. will give you samples to try but in the mean time do what ever works for you now it is normal to lose your sex drive for a while from time to time, stress just every day routines can bring on boredom and depression, try to do some things to make yourself feel sexy, maybe a new hair style or playing with your make-up and then have a drink, just try to work through it but still see your dr. and ask for something to help you in the bedroom or which ever room you decide good luck, we all go through this sometimes it is normal,

Answer 7

You should see a doctor about this. It could be a hormone imbalance or symptom of another illness. Also, have you ever had a tramatizing sexual experience? That would explain the needing to relax part. Or maybe it's just stress. But it's best to talk to a doctor.
Good Luck.

Answer 8

Exercise and start to feel better about yourself. Did you know that if you don't then chances are you won't feel good about your husband seeing you or interacting with you in such a personal way. You just give it a try, I guarantee you will have your libido back in a matter of weeks IF, IF, IF you exercise at least 5 times a week and watch what you eat...

Answer 9

Change it up frequently, watch alot of porn to get ideas. My chick was a virgin not too long ago and had little desire, i put her in control and now she's enjoying being a dominatrix.

It hurts but it's a turn on and she digs the power she has over me.

Find what turns you on and get it into your relationship somehow, smoking weed before sex is always good. :)

Answer 10

Yes, I do know what you mean. Love in such and inadequate word, it means a lot of different things, a lot of different relationship definitions. I don't know waht you can do to regain your feelings. I would say jsut ask yourself this is it a dealbreaker? Would you leave the marriage becasue of it? I would say you would not. In that case you just have to do your duty. If you are in a marriage he is entitled to expect sex. If you love him it is something you are going to have to do even if you don't really enjoy, like washing his socks.

Answer 11

Well it actually happened to more than just you. Start with trying to psych yourself out. Tell yourself all day that you need to have sex and can't wait. That helps. But if it doesn't you can talk to your doctor. You may be entering menapause early that is causing a decrease in hormones in your body. Also you can try changing your look. Your self esteme may have lost its flare. Try changing your outlook to change your body.