My wife wanted me to get rid of my ex's pictures. Should I ask her to do the same?

Question

I really didn't mind getting rid of me and my ex's pictures. But my wife also wanted to get rid of two shirts, two sweatpants and a battery-operated teddy bear that sings an old Beatles song. Geesh... do I really have to destroy any physical trace of my love history to prove to her that I love her?

Answer 1

My concern is what you said "......prove I love her......". What is it that has your wife acting out on her insecurities? You married her and not your ex (obviously) that should be 'proof and security' enough.
I don't agree that we have to 'clean the decks' of our life before we met our partner. It is this history that brought us to be who we are today and whom they love.
Depends what Beatles song it plays I guess.
Why not do a joint 'clean up' and pack your things into 2 seperate boxes and then place them together in one big box. Symbolically this is taking your past seperate lives that brought you together to share one.
This would allow respect and dignity to come into the present for each of you.
Best wishes to you on this one.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

You are not over reacting.. Despite the fact that he has economic responsibility for his kids, it must stay simply that. Of direction the ex spouse would ordinarily need to have him back but talk to him frankly and tell him that you do not love it. Honesty is the exceptional coverage. If he truly cares for you, he wouldn't need to damage you with the aid of speaking with his ex spouse rather then monetary issues. Do you've an ex husband too? If you do, ask him how he would believe in case you are doing the identical factor?

Answer 4

Are you two newly weds? Sounds like it. If either of you are dwelling on pictures of past relationships then you heart is not where it should be. Pictures are Pictures, they represent the past. Keep them there. If you are carrying a picture of your ex in your wallet then you need to find another place for it. Ex's don't belong in your wallet, wallet pictures are usually kept for showing off to others. Neither of you need to be showing off any pictures unless they are of each other. Get it? You are not telling all, sir, but if one is expected to get "rid" of pictures, then the other should have no problem doing the same. This is not a good time to be stubborn, it is time to show the woman you married that there is nothing you wouldn't do for her. You did promise to love, Cherish and honor, now keep your promise. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I say YES! tell her to get rid of all her pics with her ex, after all fair is fair. If she is that hung up on all physical traces of you and your ex ( can I ask why you kept all that stuff when you started a new relationship), then do her that favor by getting rid of it. And if she is still not happy, remind her that you are with HER and not your ex.. after all thats why its called "ex", you are no longer with that person and are now with her. Good luck guy, hope it works out for you.

Answer 6

She's a little insecure but if you love her then you're gonna have to trash it. In marriage you have to choose your battles. Do you really want to end up in the dog house over some t-shirts and a teddy bear? And yes, you have the right to ask her to do the same.

Answer 7

Personally, I don't think getting rid of pictures or mementoes is necessary at all. The relationships existed whether the things are there or not. And, the past relationships (and other life experiences) are the things that made your loved one who they are today.

My husband & I actually enjoy talking about memories from our respective pasts, pictures & all. It kind of makes me feel like I'm making up for not having been in his life with him at that time. If I can't make it that I was there, at least I can know what happened to him then (and what it looked like, how he felt at the time, what he learned, etc).

I've got pics of the his ex up in my house, actually, up in his daughter's bedroom. She's her mom, why shouldn't she have pictures of her to look at?

Answer 8

Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/ZRaF1
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.

Answer 9

I'm in the same situation. hubby has pics of an old girlfriend in a shoe box and I've been tryin' to get him to burn those things. They were never married nor had kids together...so why keep them ? Meanwhile, I still have my old wedding album put away in a trunk in my childs closet. Those are pics for them not me. When they grow up they can show their kids pics of their parents. If I didn't have kids from him I would've made a great bomb fire with them.

So, if you had no kids together get rid of them. Matter of fact give your wife the satisfaction of burning them up, ripping them apart or however she wants to destroy them.
Trust me ... she'll love you even more for that little jesture.

Answer 10

If you want to keep the stuff...Box it up and bring it to your parents or someone elses house to store for you...I can understand being a wife and having some other females pictures in your house, so keep the peace dude and keep the stuff outside your home....