I have been married 4 yrs not so happily and have a 3 yr old son(possibly not hubbys). Hubby and i got married right out of college both of us partyed a lot him more than me during the time we dated he never really grew out partying when we got married causing lots of problems.We both came from similar backrounds neither one of us had ever paid for anything or supported ourselves till we got married needless to say we are in a lot debt now.Hubby has gambling and alchol problems(he gets mad breaks furniture) at present but does not feel he has a problem.He cheated on me our first year of marriage and i had a fling with an ex.bf in retaliation causing a paternity question(a fact i have never told anyone afraid hubbys reaction could be violent).I saved up 7 grand in cash and am considering just packing leaving the house and going back to my home state.Is wrong to leave your spouse without warning and only a note?
2007-04-20 11:03:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good plan. No it is not wrong to leave without telling him. It could save you from physical abuse. Is the wise thing to do.
2007-04-20 11:07:33 · answer #1 · answered by bountyhunter101 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you have a lot of different problems to work out and get taken care of. First and most important, you need to know who is the father to your son. If you fear your husbands reaction, why not contact your ex b/f that you feel may be the child's father and ask him if he will consent to a paternity test. You can not even imagine the amount of hell you will have to go through if your husband finds out there is doubt about who is the actual father of your son and you leave him. It also sounds like from some of your previous questions that you are carrying a lot of guilt around because of the cheating you did. Regardless of your motivation (retaliation), you were wrong to cheat, you should have just left him at that time and moved on. Now, you have a child that you are not sure who the father is, you have huge debt, an alcoholic husband that also has a gambling problem. Sure it sounds like he has problems, but you have some of your own that you need to take care of.
2007-04-23 08:37:42 · answer #2 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is best to leave without warning and not even a note. Let your attorney take care of all the nastiness. Start healing and learn from this mistake and raise your child with the fear of the Lord and not your former moral standards and you should be fine. Once you leave, you're gone. No games. Games will get you dead!
2007-04-20 11:14:10 · answer #3 · answered by kyle g 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Typically, I say yes, it is terribly wrong to just walk away without attempting counseling. HOWEVER, the moment he became violent with you, he lost the right to expect counseling. He's a lowlife. You're no angel either, but he's a lowlife. Get out. Do realize, however, that you will have an awful lot of things to sort out... I would talkl first to an attorney. You could have a lot of problems with "kidnapping" your child, financial problems, etc.
Good luck.
2007-04-20 11:09:00 · answer #4 · answered by a-mac 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did we ever get married? Better yet WHY did we ever have a kid?? Be a woman and tell him what's going on. Let him know you no longer want to be married. Once you leave, make sure to find out who the baby's father really is. The kid has the right to know the truth!
2007-04-20 11:14:25 · answer #5 · answered by marisanj 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a train wreck waiting to happen.
Based on the few things you posted, I would leave now. The gambling and alcoholism spells disaster. Leave him honey.
2007-04-20 11:22:23 · answer #6 · answered by Momma K 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it's wrong to do this especially with children involved
you need to sit down and talk about your feelings
and get some outside help if nessesary
explain you will leave if things can't work out.
don't just leave, you have a child to consider.
myddad@yahoo.com
2007-04-20 11:10:28 · answer #7 · answered by myddad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've been doing wrong things all along, why afraid now to do wrong. leave hub now and start right your life. be a good person to be a good partner next time, and be good mom as well. God bless.
2007-04-20 11:24:45 · answer #8 · answered by lovenotjusthurtmebutkillsme 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah but at some point he will want to know what happened for the sake of ur son you will need to keep in touch (if its his)
2007-04-20 11:09:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no it isnt wrong, just do it,, sounds like your marriage was all wrong and you should start fresh
2007-04-20 11:10:20 · answer #10 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋