Why do sometimes, people aggressively look for shallow, eternally unsatisfying characteristics in other people while dating?
like sex and money
instead of humor, respect, humility, generosity, ambition, etc
2007-04-20 07:52:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Sociology
Because people are aggressively shallow.
The main reason that there are so many divorces in the US today is because people base their decision to marry on unimportant factors, and ignore the important ones.
"Dating" was originally intended as a method of determining initial interest, at which point a courtship would ensue. Society has erased the all important middle step because we are an "instant gratification" society and hold no regard for patience or waiting.
2007-04-20 08:01:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is only natural for people to look on the outside first and then the inner...why do you think so many women end up with men that may look alright, but then beat the crap out of them.....bad judgment from the beginning...I think we are all programmed this way to a certain extent...did you ever hear of the joke about the pastor that had a choice of 2 women to marry, one was very beautiful but had a horrible speaking voice. The other was very unattractive but could sing like a bird...she had an absolutely amazing voice. The preacher decided to marry the woman who had the voice because he thought this is what God would want him to do...well it was the next morning after they got married and the preacher woke up and looked over at his new bride, after taking one look at her without her make up he jumped up and yelled....sing baby sing!!
moral of the story, if you are without looks, you better have a great talent or personality!! LOL
I think it is just part of the human character.
Leslie
2007-04-20 08:42:51 · answer #2 · answered by Leslie R 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because some people r just vain and shallow. I myself would take a guy with a great smile and one that can make me laugh no matter how down Iam! A man with an amazing sense of humor is very important to me
2016-05-19 22:33:48 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's because they don't really understand what they need in a life partner, so they go for the candy, the "I want" things, rather than the meat & potatoes, the "I need" items.
Luckily, some of us do it right the first time (not me, but some people do). And some do it right the second time (yeah).
Some people never learn.
You have to understand yourself really well before you know what you need in a life partner.
2007-04-20 08:01:24 · answer #4 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They look for someone like themselves. If they are shallow, they seek superficial qualities. Although sex is rather important in a relationship. Without it you're just good friends.
2007-04-20 07:58:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because they themselves are shallow people... and most of the time they will admit to it because they really are only looking for sex and money. haha its pretty sad. im not like that but i have girlfriends and some guy friends who only want sex so thats why they are looking for phsyical and materialistic qualities. me... im looking for love so what i look for is important characteristics in a guy like hard-working, respectful, kind, friendly, polite, outgoing, well-groomed (can take care of himself), etc. i'd like to find a great guy i can spend the rest of my life loving instead of wasting just ten minutes of my life in lust.
2007-04-20 14:38:57 · answer #6 · answered by thizzin' 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The external part of a person is what people see first. Some people are too impatient to "dig a little deeper" into someone's personality.
2007-04-21 07:04:58 · answer #7 · answered by Skyline 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because they feel that they are not worth any more then these things and so they continually look for what they feel they are worth the irony is that with each failed attempt and each broken heart they develop a more and more critical view of themselves
(why is it always me, I am not worth anything, no one loves me, all I am worth is sex)
and so they continually look for these things
2007-04-20 10:59:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We are a culture that glorifies beauty and money, IE: movie stars, sports figures, etc... A very physically driven attraction process, all of it superficial at best. We even select our pets by how cute they are.
2007-04-20 08:08:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
people start out the relationship with only two things in mind, scoring, and what gain can come out of this. love respect and all that i think is gained in trust latter.
2007-04-20 08:02:06 · answer #10 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋