And it ends in divorce how often do these type of relationships work out? Do they last?
2007-04-20 07:51:46 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
They very rarely stay with the homewrecker. The door still only swings one way!
2007-04-20 08:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by MISTY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If the person is a "lover" then how much respect could the exspouse really have for either person (the spouse or the lover)? It won't last. What made the fling exciting is that it was a secret and it was "bad." Now that it's out it will end soon enough. Unless they have a kid, then they're screwed.
2007-04-20 14:59:16 · answer #2 · answered by i!i!i!i!i! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I under stand what you are going through. I am going through something similar to that. I am considering to leave my husband.
You must consider the reasons why you are leave your spouse.
You need to take sometime and review the years you spend with your spouse. Was there abuse (physical, emotional, verbal). Did he neglect you, cheated on you, was selfish thinking only about himself? Are there children? What caused you to the lover...there was something missing in your relationship...what was it?
What is the lover offering you? Love or Affection? Financial support? Attention? Romance? Communication? Friendship? What is he offering?
Are you leaving because of him (the lover) or because you realized, out of the blue, that you relationship is over?
I met someone after 5 years of living with someone (no children). He cheated on me twice and dating her while I was still living under his roof (seperate rooms). He was verbally and emotionally abusive. "Can't you think, Can't you do anything right, Can't you listen." So on. He destroyed myself esteem.
I met someone at work who works with him but in a different department. This man made me feel alive again. Gave me the confidence I need.I moved out but the new man was too busy with his work. My ex got sick and so I went back to my ex and married two months ago.....Mistake
He has not changed in the sense that he is selfish and only thinks about him. Though he is not being abusive any longer nor seeing anyone.
I am planning to leave in six months if the marriage does not work. (Yes, I am seeing the man I met a few months ago but I am not going leaving my husband for him.) I will leave the relationship and get a divorce is he does not change his ways. Things are okay but the emptiness is still here. I am giving him time to change. My decision to leave has nothing to do with the other man but how my relationship was not able to become strong again. There are things you can not forgive such as infidelity which I still throw in his face and that is not fair to him nor healthy to the relationship.
The new man has stated " I can give you what you husband can not" (Love & respect). I am considering it.
Think twice about the reasons why you are leaving. Good luck. If you need to talk...I'm here.
I do believe there is someone out there for us. I know that the second marriage is harder than the first but we need to use what we have learned from our failed marriage. Remember every relationship need...communication, love & friendship, a partnership to build a solid foundation, and respect. Without these...no relationship will last.
2007-04-20 17:16:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hardly ever. If a person is the type of person that would throw away a relationship they've invested 15 years of their life in, and hurt someone they have been that close too for that long, that badly, then they will do it again in a heart beat with this next person. Furthermore anyone who will get involved with a person that is obviously "taken" can't have too may morals themselves. Sounds like they deserve each other, but that doesn't always mean happiness...seldom works.
2007-04-20 15:41:07 · answer #4 · answered by damsilinthisdress 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the relationship with the spouse was long over. Everyone has a right to be happy, and if the lover or new relationship makes them happy there is no reason why it should not last.
2007-04-20 14:55:54 · answer #5 · answered by marisanj 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I depends.
I think every marriage takes work. If after 15 years you (anybody) gets bored and goes looking elsewhere for something new instead of working on what you already have, you're bound to do that again and your next marriage(s) will fail when you reach the same point.
If you are leaving the marriage for other legitimate reasons, like you are being abused, then the new relationship could work.
2007-04-20 15:11:01 · answer #6 · answered by magartista 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Shelly E... chances are if he left a marriage for another, that relationship wont work either... I would just move on if I were you and hopefully you don't have any children ... divorce impacts them the most and not in a positive way..
Seek God in prayer for Strength in this situation
2007-04-20 15:02:27 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. If the marriage had been going downhill and was going to end in divorce regardless, I'd think the relationship would work out better, in the sense that they'd already be more 'over' their last love.
2007-04-20 15:02:08 · answer #8 · answered by msxcheshirexcat 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You cheated, and you will cheat again when you get bored. If your lover was also married you will never fully trust that person because they cheated with you. So , you really deserve each other , but it won't last because what goes around comes around and you will final get a taste of what you did to someone else.
2007-04-20 15:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by springer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not any better than the first 15 year hitch. Some work out some don't
2007-04-20 15:41:50 · answer #10 · answered by bocasbeachbum 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋