What do you do if you know your daughter is being beaten up by her partner?

Question

My daughter has 2 children 12 and 2 years old. Police have been out for domestic violence. She continues to want to try and make it work. What can I do?

Answer 1

Be there for her when she needs you too, beleive me she will see common sense I did.

Answer 2

e but my main reply to you would be if you can get those kids out of there!! They are both being mentally affected by what they are hearing particularly the 12 year old who will understand exactly what is going on and the 2 year old wont understand but will know its bad.
The Police, Social services should have some interest here the words used now are "AT RISK" those children are at risk.
If they are not the children of the bully that is beating her up then where is the natural father he could step in and go for custody or you could.
Please contact Social Services if your daughter does

Answer 3

You have many answers here but my main reply to you would be if you can get those kids out of there!! They are both being mentally affected by what they are hearing particularly the 12 year old who will understand exactly what is going on and the 2 year old wont understand but will know its bad.
The Police, Social services should have some interest here the words used now are "AT RISK" those children are at risk.
If they are not the children of the bully that is beating her up then where is the natural father he could step in and go for custody or you could.
Please contact Social Services if your daughter doesnt realise what danger she is in then taking this action may help. One day she will realise and suddenly want to leave but please protect those little ones before it is too late.

Answer 4

absolutely nothing. if she's not willing to leave then nothing you do or say will change her mind. I mean, you could try some extremes like taking her on a talk show (Maury, Greg Berendt, etc.) or you can get a very big, very mean, male relative of hers (preferably brother or father) to beat her boyfriend's *ss. I like the 2nd idea. With that being said, I have 2 daughters myself. If it were my child I would go to a sporting goods store, buy a louisville slugger, go to my daughter's house, knock on the door, go inside, and proceed to beat him into a coma. I may even shoot him in the groin and both kneecaps. Yes, I would probably get arrested for assaut with a deadly weapon and attempted murder but I would much rather go through that then to see my child being treated like a punching bag. Now, if you do that, make sure you don't tell the police that I gave you that idea.

Answer 5

my heart is breaking for you and your daughter and your loverly grand kids i actualy lost my rag completely a few years ago when my son in law had grabbed my daughter around her throat i just saw red and as a result i had to visit the police station where i had telling off from the inspector
she stayed with him and didnt speak to me for the next 10 years have recently come back into her life and i believe them both when they say that they have never had any other incidents like that
so i know how easy it is to intervene but what the consequences were for my family i wish now that i hadnt
i have told you my story not because i think domestic violence is nothing she is your daughter and you want her to be safe and you want to protect her
all you can do is tell her you are there for her and its gotta be her decision to leave him you could quote how many victims of DV end up dead and that you want her to be around to see her children grow up and hope upon hope that she will see sense and come to you

Answer 6

If it was my daughter she would have known that the first time a man hits you it won't be the last, and she would have got out of the relationship, because once a man hits you it will only get worse and harder.
Sorry mate but I would send a few mates round to kick his head in, and make sure they do a good enough job, so that he would never, lay a hand on my daughter again.
I am really upset for you & your daughter, and your grandchildren-I just hope she gets help to get out. She won't change him, she needs the strength to realise she needs help and the support to ask for it.

Answer 7

There really isn't much you can do until she decides she wants to help herself.. You could talk to her though and try to get her to believe that she isn't suppose to be treated the way she is, and that no one has the right to be beaten. She needs to realize that there are so many other people out there who are looking for someone to love with children.. and they wouldn't ever beat her. Let her know that you love her and that your always there for her and when she is ready to leave that your door is open.. She just needs to realize that there is no making a realationship work when you are being beaten. That is how that person is and there is no changing them..

However, I am very sorry for your daughter. I know what it is like to have someone VERY close to you be beaten.. I've seen it and it's not anything I'd EVER like to see again.. All I know that worked really for our family was letting her know we loved her and we were always there.. and trying to convince her that she wasn't EVER intended to be treated that way.. and that she could and would find someone else who would love her like she was suppose to be..

Answer 8

First talk to your daughter, try to get her to counseling, if she refuses, I would seek and attorney to try to get the children taken away from her. I know it is harsh, but if your daughter wishes to try to make a abusive situation work (which it probably won't- EVER), then your responsibility is to those children. Whether they are physically being abused or not, they are undergoing phychological and emotional abuse and those innocent children do not deserve it. They are unable to help themselves and are better off being away from their parents in a SAFE environment than being subjected to such horror.

You MUST use tough love on your daughter. Her self esteem is down and she is unable to see or comprehend how bad the situation is - and she wont be able to comprehend it until well after she is out of the situation.

The kids are learning that this is normal and more than likely when they grow up they will end up in abusive situations themselves because they is it as "normal"
PLEASE INTERVENE ON BEHALF OF THOSE CHILDREN, I BEG OF YOU!

Answer 9

for your daughters and her childrens sake...she must have this man removed from the home, he should be in jail....i hate it when women say they can't leave because of this or because of that and i wish women would realise that violent partners never change, but they continue to stay, theres plenty of places to go, and if she really needs help then she's gonna have to accept it, being stuck in that situation is bad for her and her kids, she needs to get away....he will continue to do this to her until he drives her into the ground...i understand that she loves him but she does not have to take a beatings, her marriage will not work unless he admits that he has anger issues, he has to get that dealt with or your daughter could be in grave danger....ask her to move into your place for a bit, just till things sort themselves out, don't leave her with this man....i suffered physical and emotional abuse for many years and i had a breakdown...i plucked up the courage to leave him 18 years ago and i have never looked back....protect her from him, she does not deserve this and neither do the kids

Answer 10

Smack some sense into her, since it appears to be the only thing she understands. It will never work, he will eventually kill her, he will continue to push and push and see how much he can get away with, the only two outcomes are she leaves or she dies. So why wait until she has a stay in hospital? maybe take advice from a domestic violence support group, rather than a bunch of armatures on the web.

Answer 11

It's so hard because only she can make that decision. Be there for her to talk to and support your grandchildren - they will know what's going on and it is scary to live in that kind of environment - believe me.
This is a link to the REFUGE website. If your daughter is not ready to leave there are tips for people who are in abusive relationships on how to try and manage their safety. Its not much but it may help. remember the law has changed and police can prosecute without your daughter pressing charges now.